I promise, this will be the last time I compare hosting a giveaway on my blog to losing my blogging virginity, because honestly, I’m starting to come across as a bit promiscuous, aren’t I?
And I am so far from promiscuity that I can’t even see it from here, much less participate in it.
However, blogging about losing my actual virginity is still on the table.
If I ever really lost my actual virginity, that is.
Which I haven’t. I believe I’ve mentioned before that my mom reads this blog and thinks Zoe and Helena came special order from the Pottery Barn Catalog.
So, let’s get on with it, shall we?
Once upon a time, I entered a scrapbooking contest.
OK. Twice upon a time, I entered this contest.
FINE. If you want to get technical about it … thrice upon a time, I entered this damn contest.
But only because twice upon a time, I didn’t win. And because I’m a glutton for punishment. And masochistic.
And apparently, redundant.
It was called the Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame contest. Back in the day, it was a very prestigious contest to win with lots of publicity and honor.
I didn’t win it back in the day. In fact, I won it the last year it was held.
And that’s all I’ll say about that.
The Hall of Fame prize package, contributed to by several generous companies, was something akin to Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom and included tons and tons of bright, shiny, colorful traditional scrapbooking products, like patterned paper, cardstock, embellies and the like.
But if you happened to be a digital scrapbooker with no inclination to partake in paper craftiness, whose winning entry was 100% digital, who was hoping to have digital scrapbooking represented and score some Adobe candy or even just one digital element, the package was more like the parking lot of Magic Kingdom. Nowhere near the tram. In the middle of August. With soggy shoes.
But my kids thought otherwise, as evidenced by my fleeting glimpse of their bulging eyes immediately before they dived head first into the boxes and called dibs on any item they managed to grab before I yanked them out by their ankles, frisked them down, confiscated the loot and issued them a restraining order confining them to the laundry room until they matched up all the loose socks.
I haven’t seen them, or my socks, to this day. But I swear I’ll look for them soon.
Quickutz was a contributor to this prize package. And before I go any further, let me make it perfectly clear that Quickutz is not paying me to say nice things about them. I am not a spokesperson for Quickutz. I’m not a paper crafty person, remember? Because if I was, I wouldn’t be writing this post in the first place and instead, I’d be decoupaging Nate with all my paper goodies and making him pretty for work. I’m not a spokesperson for anyone except myself. And speaking on behalf of myself, I’m considering letting myself go because in this economy, I simply can’t afford myself and besides, letting myself go is something I’m really good at and you’re supposed to play to your strengths.
Am I right?
So, to be clear, I do not represent Quickutz. No one is paying me to sing the kudos of Quickutz. No one pays me to sing, period. Be grateful.
Quickutz was a very generous contributor. And, as it turns out, a very understanding one. I called them up and explained my situation and offered to put the phone up to their gift certificate so that they could hear it whimper and whine from my neglect. They declined and then graciously allowed me to swap out my gift certificate for a shopping spree giveaway on my blog.
Is that great customer service or what?
I love shopping sprees!
I mean, I think I love them. I’ve never actually been on one. I think in order for it to qualify as a “spree,” you’re not supposed to cry when you pay and the cashier should be able to swipe your credit card without having to use a crowbar to wrench it out of your death grip first.
I checked out Quickutz.com and these are just a few of the things I found that peaked my interest. I couldn’t show them all because then this post would go on for miles and then my mom would call me up to yell “HOW DO I SCROLL? WHERE DOES THIS MOUSE THING GO? and then my last nerve would pitch a hissy and go on strike.
If she made it this far, it will be a miracle.
.
How cute is this thing? If I had this in my arsenal, I could have made Helena’s birthday invitations a whole heck of a lot prettier than those voice mail messages I left.
This machine cuts stuff. With the help of a computer.
I am just a wealth of technical knowledge, am I not?
This cuts stuff too. Without a computer.
There I go, spouting off my techie speak again. Sorry.
There’s all sorts of cool stuff at Quickutz.com and I better just stop now or I might just scrap this entire giveaway idea and keep it all to myself. Pun intended. Hahahahaha! Get it?
So can I just shut up already and tell you what I’m giving away?
And can I not be so contrary?
As a matter of fact, I can!
.
Up for grabs is a $200 shopping spree at Quickutz.com! The who, what, when, where, and how details to be provided to the winner upon notification.
.
OK … here’s the scoop:
- To enter, leave a comment in this post, telling me my 401K statement is a fake. In other words, lie. Lie like a dog. Woof.
- No entries after 5:00 pm eastern time tomorrow, Tuesday, March 10, because that’s when I’ll be scrambling around my kitchen, assembling dinner and spritzing my face with water to make it look like I slaved all day over it. Nate appreciates that kind of effort.
- I’ll use random.org to select one winner. I love all things random.
- Who else doesn’t shave their legs every day? I feel all alone in this world.
- Please don’t enter more than once. If you don’t see your comment right away, be patient. Otherwise, you risk being called a whackadoodle. On behalf of whackadoodles everywhere, STOP IT. You’re giving us a bad rep.
- I’ll announce the winner on Wednesday!
Good luck!
Off to shave my legs. It is Monday, after all.
.
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The 401K *has* to be a fake!
Oh, and I just love your blog! You have a great writing style, and made me laugh.
Thanks!
Wowser! Love those digi layouts and I’m totally a paper-crafty kind of person.
And, did you really look at your 401K statement? Brave woman if you did.
Ok, you wanted me to lie so here it is: I’m 5′7″ and weigh 122 lbs.
If you didn’t live up in the tundra of NY State you’d want to shave your legs more than once a week or month or whenever it is because anywhere else you wouldn’t need the hair for insulation from the freakin cold!
Your 401(k) statement is a total fake! I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, but I was the one that sent it to you. Time to come clean… it’s fake.
Shave? What’s that? And why would you do that to your legs?
Shaving your legs its still winter up here in Canada. We need the warmth.lol
And a 401K ??? humm don’t have that either.
Your layouts are beautiful. Im a paper scrapper. Just figured out the computer stuff not to long ago.
Love your blog, its in my fav’s
My lie is: I try really REALLY hard in my American National Government class. There it is.
Oh, and also, I don’t shave my legs every day either
Real women can deal with their body hair!
ok being foreign…lol I know nothing about 401K’s but I am sure yours is fake.. and fyi, I do the legs once a fortnight.. and with the wipe on wipe off cream, I am way too lazy for a razor
I think you should move to Canada where 401Ks do not exist, and a little extra leg hair is considered insulation against the cold harsh weather. If you believe everything you read, braiding our leg hair is actually a national pastime during the winter, and usually ends with the melting of the last of the neighborhood igloos.
401(k)? those don’t really exist do they? so yours must be fake!!!
You are truly brave to submit…I’ve been trying to get my nerve up for years to enter those contests…maybe i will this year!
401K? Well, I think yours is as much of a lie as my RRSP (the Candian equivalent)is!!! It is all a total, big, horrible lie told to make us all want to give up already and throw in the towel. DO NOT LISTEN TO IT!!! You actually have thousands and thousands sitting there quietly singing your name and waiting for you to need it!!!
Don’t know what I would do with all of the fun stuff available from that site but, be sure, I would think of something!!!!
Olwyn
401K? I assumed everyone’s was a fake, because if you have managed to acquire one in the last few decades….it’s gone NOW in this economy. Aren’t we talking about letting ourselves go?
Really, though, what an AWESOME giveaway. I would LOVE to be the winner, all things RANDOM….I just happened to stumble on to your blog, so that seems random enough for me.
Have an amazing day………
I’m trying not to worry about the 401K. There was a time I didn’t have one . . . well, wait . . now that I think about it, I don’t have one now either.
Your 410k is a figment of the Matrix. It never really existed anyway, so don’t worry about it!
LOVE Quickutz. Their fonts are the absolute best!!
401K, no idea what that is – maybe you should move to Australia where we don’t have them so they can’t lie.
As for socks, in our house they all gravitate to the one childs bedroom in single file – never pairs. No one else can find theirs, hmm you think there might be something I am missing – well apart from socks.
Your 401K is totally fake. LOL! I shaved my legs yesterday. Its summer already down here in Arkansas. Ha! Crossing my fingers!! Please let it be me!!!!!!!!!!!
Hang on to that 401K – it may look great in 20 years!
401ks aren’t real, because if they were, that’s what they’d be called here in Canada too. So don’t worry about yours!
You are so sweet for sharing the wealth, congrats on your win!
Well – hello!
I don’t even know what a 401k is – so it must be fake, else I’d know about it right?? *giggles*
Congratulations on a fabulous win – I drool over quickcutz!!
401k?? what’s that? I don’t know what it is… you must be lying about its existence therefore it must be fake! LOL
Gorgeous gorgeous LOs! I can’t pull off the graphic look.
They are what paper shredders were invented for!LOL!
Ok. Your 401K statement is a fake. In fact, you never even sent your kids to the laundry room. You don’t even have a luandry room, do you? or socks for that matter, huh? It’s all fake, except the shopping spree, right?
Your 401K? Bahaha. Sorry.
Life is fake. Now give me my win!
I hear that those 401K thingies used to be pretty handy…
Sign me up and random integer me, baby.
Blessings!
Holy smokes, what an incredible giveaway, but even better, I LOVE your prose!
I’d love to have that “spree” feeling at quickcutz!
I only shave my legs once a week.
Being oh so bored at work and deciding that surfing the net would be much more fun than logging in to my 401K account and having a good cry, I found you! You ROCK! Not only are you hillarious, but you’re giving away scrapbooking stuff. I think I have a new best friend.
As for shaving…I broke down and finally removed all my insulation last week, but only because we were heading to Florida for vacation. Now I’m back home in PA and begging for heat!
OMG I would love to win. (that’s not the lie part) and yes I don’t shave my legs everyday…especially in the winter. In the summer I do touch ups regularly. But I’m married and a mom and no one is looking at my legs anyway so I feel safe if I skip a day
I joke with my sisters we go into hibernation in the winter…all those pants who needs to shave????
It’s okay your 401k is now a 104k see you’re doing great!
Well, seeing as how I am a paper scrapper and don’t have a clue about digital, count me in!
I just dry shaved this am. Darn exercise class.
If you don’t open your statements, everything is just fine.
Oh wow, wow, wow!! PLEASE PICK ME!!! I’m new to all this artsy stuff and I need all the help I can get! Oh, and um…..woof, woof!!!
Happy Spring Fling!
Come on over to my blog to register for my pearl earring giveaway too!!
Your 401K statement is fake!
Er, what’s a 401K statement? Is it like an E111, or a UB40?
of course your 401 k statement is a fake. and no, i don’t shave my legs everyday. here to hoping i win this one
Wait! What? Where’s my comment?!? ’twas brilliant!!
Not that I need any of this sewing crafty shit, but it was brilliant nonetheless!
This would be so much fun to have!
And shaving? Every day? Wha…?
Great blog. You are definitely going into my favorites! =)
Yes I do believe your 401k statement is a fake!
Your blog is adorable. I believe I will be coming back after spring fling is done my dear!
My goodness this looks awesome! And don’t worry, your statement is completely fake. Also, I don’t shave my legs nearly every day, and my man still loves me. Score!
Wow…and CK hall of famer. I’m impressed!
I love quickutz…..oh the new fonts I could buy.
I would LOVE to have this!!! Count me in and then picture me saying “pick me pick me” when it comes time to pick your winner!!!
Wow! Congrats on your awesome achievement and thanks for the awesome giveaway…and don’t worry…that statement is is fake…or at least temporary…we hope.
I’m pretty sure that is the funniest post I’ve ever read about a giveaway. The prize is super cool…but you made me giggle numerous times along the way..and that is pretty darn awesome too…OH AND I AIN’T LYIN! I meant that sincerely. I think I’m gonna be hooked on your blog (sheesh just what I need another blog to keep up with) I get suckered in by the funny people.
was your 401 k with Bernie Madoff? Please sign me up
OH no…you did NOT say 401k…I’m not touching that one… but I would totally love to win your giveaway…
Well, I’ll be…I’m in desperate need of a Quickutz shopping spree. How’d you ever guess?! And shaving of the legs is starting to get a bit more difficult for me as my belly pokes out further and further. By the time this baby is born in July I’m afraid I might look like a wooly mammoth!
Too funny! Throw my name in the hat.
401K statement? You mean you open those? Silly girl! Mine go straight to the bottom of the birdcage. It’s all imaginary money anyway.
I think this is my favorite giveaway and your pages are dropdead gorgeous! Pop by my blog to win a Stampin’ Up! stamp set.
Wow shaving a word that sounds familiar….it has something to do with pools? It is only march no worries til june! just add a few zeros to the right and your 401K will be OK!
Shaving is only for the days when I’M in the mood.
401K? Huh? Those still exist?
Your 401 K is a fake but you have a great giveaway going!
I am visiting via SITS and hope you will stop by and enter my giveaway too!
Happy Spring Fling! Your 401 K is perfect. There was a huge typo and it came across looking a lot worse than it really is. In fact, your 401 K has doubled!
Shaving, who needs to do that?
I love your pages! Congrats on your win!!!
Your kids came from the Pottery Barn catalog too??? Wow! what a small world, and you have hairy legs and a fake 401k. Wow! I really need to get out more, I thought I was the only one.
Okay so this contest is beyond way cool. First you actually won the Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame contest? That is beyond fabulous! I love QuickKutz and am keeping my fingers extra crossed because I am one of those pesky cardstock toting scrapbookers who need to move into the digital age but I’m too addicted to Archivers to do so. ;p
Happy Spring Fling, SITSta!
absolutely false 401K – really, just like you said!
this is a super giveaway – I’ve always wanted to play with the QuicKutz system… of course, I’m terribly addicted to scrapbooking (and now blogging)
(LOVE your humor – the title cracks me up!)
ACK! In light of recent events I almost forgot!! OK. 401k is a LIE!!
Yes your statement was a lie. First of all YOUR 401(k) didn’t tank. Everyone else’s did. And all of OUR money can be found in your account…lucky you!
I’m sorry, but we are not discussing or even opening 401K statements here – the mere thought of it makes me want to crawl right back into bed and pull the covers over my head. It’s just too scary! They must have made a mistake on yours – how could it increase with half of the world going bankrupt!
As far as shaving goes – well, I understand the statements about it being an insulator, but I just can’t handle any stubby-ness so I must shave every other day.
Thanks for the chance to win!
Your 401k statement is a complete phony!! It’s not right, I promise!! Awesome giveaway!
So, do they sell the person to show you how to use all that stuff? I’d probably need one of those.
I’m just giving away coffee…and a mug…OOOOOHHHHH. Whatever, some people really really like coffee. And it was that or THE poncho for first prize. Now the poncho is awesome-ly horrible…but I have had some requests for it.
Congrats!
pst…i don’t shave everyday either.
Happy spring fling!
=) melanie
melanieadey at hotmail dot com
Your 401K – it must be wrong. It is a fake. What is a 401K I am Canadian and have no idea.
It is winter here and very cold still wearing long underwear so why shave legs?
Great give a way. Thanks for sharing your prize.
401 k! What’s that! hubs and I own both our businesses – we are never going to be able to retire, so no reason to save for it. We have rental property – we all know how well housing prices have been lately, I guess it’s just the same as a tanking 401 k stock investment!
My husband wishes I shaved everyday, but I don’t.
I hate to shave! I just can’t stand it. Great giveaway. Oh and I haven’t even looked at my 401K so obviously they haven’t mailed them out yet so you must be getting spam mail!
OMG! You are so beyond flippin’ funny! I hadn’t been to your blog before today but I was searching QK on 2Peas and found your blog candy post.
I get a great deal on QK at my LSS but free is absolutely wonderful!
Oh, and Mondays? How about the first day of the month? If I meet that goal MAYBE by the next month I won’t be as hairy as my hubby.
Don’t forget the flour when you spritz your face–it gives just the right look of exhaustion! LOL. Please enter me in your amazing giveaway!
I wish I had 401 statements to pile up and I know for all of you that do it must be a real heart breaker. Who has time to shave your legs everyday with the children running them here and there cleaning the house the tons of laundry,cooking. Thank-you for the giveaway and Happy Springtime to everyone.
tamben7996(at)aol(dot)com
401K statements are best left unopened. A stack of them bandaed together makes a great doorstop.
I don’t even open 401K statements anymore – just too depressing! What an awesome giveaway – love my Quickutz!
I wish my 401K was lying, it’s depressing to look at! Oh and I don’t save but once a week because my hair grows very very slowly and even then it’s more to make me feel better cause I have than because I needed to!
What you don’t shave your legs everyday? That’s just not right. Every lady shaves their legs and arms everyday…………………………………………………..okay…..so you told me to lie. Who shaves their legs everyday? Maybe a whackadoodle.
401K? whats that? lol. And I only get to shave my legs when my husband is home cause if my two year old see’s me sitting on the edge of the bathtub while covered in shaving cream, it’s like her devious little mind knows I am unable to get up and chase her and she will like flush my keys down the toilet or something.
Great Giveaway!
Sashailic222@yahoo.com
Fingers crossed.
401k? what’s that? thanks for the awesome giveaway!
I don’t look at my 401k cuz the money will come back right????
I shave every day, just ask my hubby…wait don’t do that he will call me a big fat liar! I am lucky if i do it once a month…at least they are blonde hairs. Now for some truth I love your blog and I am officially following!
Awww…you’re so young you don’t need to start thinking about that pesky little 401K statement for decades anyway, right?
All I know is that a QK giveaway would make me forget all about my financial statements for a long time to come. Now THAT is what HAPPY is all about.
I shaved this weekend because I got a pedi and I didn’t want them to think I’m hairy all the time! LOL!
I don’t have a 401k but Im sure I’d being crying if I did. At least I don’t know what Im missing
I shave every 2 weeks or so :-O
Thanks for the chance!
What’s a 401k statement? jk
I love scrapbooking, but you put my pages to shame. I’m in awe of what you’ve done. I hope I win!
401k? Ha you need to be a teacher and have the STRS retirement plan. DH’s is still going strong.
And I have to shave my legs, even in the winter. We get to sport shorts here sometimes in Southern Cali and well I have dark hair…not pretty.
Love your blog! I believe the only shaving going on around here is that of the endangered 401K. Since I lost my job last month I had to roll mine over into an IRA or risk losing a lot more! Painful as it was to look at it, at least it will finally be safe. Maybe it won’t go extinct afterall!
I blame shaving and 401K losses on global warming. Of course, with all of the snow that keeps falling around here, I confess that I am now a skeptic when it comes to global warming. As long as the snow keeps coming, the leg shaving will be extinct!
I LOVE QUICKUTZ! Thanks for the opportunity to win.
Your 401K statement is a fake, woof, woof, lol!!! Congrats on the win and thanks for offering this generous contest.
What, you didn’t want to go on a shopping spree for stuff you wouldn’t use, take photos, write descriptions, and sell it all on ebay for pennies on the dollar??? You could have put that $$$ into your retirement account.
You’re hilarious. That’s NOT a lie! LOL
Your 401k statement. It was lost in the mail. Sorry.
I do not shave my legs every day. Especially in the winter time when it’s just going to grow back as soon as I step out of the shower from being cold.
This is a totally awesome giveaway. I wanna win! =D
Just pitch the 401K in the trash …it is junk mail no need to open! hahaa and yeah no need to shave every day either…overkill if you ask me! Thanks for the chance to win this awesome prize!!!!!
Shaving is for wussies. Around here we burn it off.
ok…got a internal error when I tried to first comment…so please forgive me if this is a repeat.
Love ya lots !!!!
and, pick me random thingy !!!!! I want one of those Silouhette thingies !!!! yes I am a bad speller
oh, and I’d be happy with 1% of your humor….thanks for making us laugh !!!
Your 401K is lying because it is engaged in a horrible friendship with mine. Their goal is to see if they can ruin our day. I think they are succeeding.
wow this is such a cool giveaway! Xing fingers and tootsies BIG time on this one! Thanks for the chance!
Ohhhhhh is Monday the day we’re supposed to shave? Every Monday? First monday of the month? First Monday of the quarter? I get soooo confused.
your 401k statement is a total fake!
IT’S 5:00 PM, EASTERN TIME.
TIME’S UP! THANKS, EVERYONE!
Shred that 401k statement right up! Burn it!
Oops, I’m late, duh!
Love your blog (not a lie).
Love your sense of humor (not a lie).
About the 401K: I don’t open my statements. Some things are just better left to the imagination (also not a lie).
Your 401K statements are, I’m sure, entirely fake. Also a lie.
YOUR 401K is a fake. Its lies all lies!
Love your site! You make me laugh – definitely not a lie! As for the 401k statements – surely they are all LIES!! All lies – they have to be – right?! As for shaving – only when I have to – like when I might get lucky! LOL! Thanks for all the laughs!
I love all this stuff – and your technical terminology is so much like mine.
I am also running aorund with my head cut off (well, almost) and realized it is past five oclock – 52 minutes past, actually, but am going to post this anyway on the off chance that you are running off schedule as I am.
If not, my loss – I should have come here sooner!
Oh crapper, am I too late? I was shaving my legs and its been so long it took a while…
thanks for the giveaway! Am I too late? So sorry about your 401K.
I hope I am not too late but I am a scrapping addict ~ the paper way!
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