Weekend regurgitation: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and then sell it on Craigslist

by Creative Junkie on May 15, 2010

Last night, we went out for dinner and while waiting for the check, Nate bet Helena, our nine year old, twenty bucks that she could not eat a rather large lemon wedge. Not just suck out the juice mind you, but chew and swallow the entire thing. Rind, pith, pulp, seeds and all.

Five minutes later, Nate was $20 poorer and Helena was inoculated against scurvy.

I leave you with the post I wrote last year about the time I earned a little extra money myself by selling my Canon DSLR.  I have been quite successful with my Craigslist ads but there are days when I think chowing down a few dozen bushels of lemons in one sitting would be more palatable than dealing with the whackadoodledom that can be Craigslist.

Although I do believe the resulting puckered face from either endeavor would look exactly the same.

Happy Sunday, everyone!

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********************************

Am I speaking Braille?

.

Why does Craigslist attract so many idiots who want to buy things? I know idiots are people too and they have houses to furnish and hobbies to enjoy just like regular people but what is it about Craigslist that makes them come out of the woodwork in droves and cop a squat all over your ad?

I’ve been pretty successful selling various items on that site, but holy heck, it’s not easy. I’ve learned the hard way that whenever I list an item on Craigslist, I must have my hip waders and pruning shears handy to wade through all the crap and weed out all the whackadoodles.

Case in point: I recently placed an ad on Craigslist for my Rebel. I gave detailed information as to every item included in the sale, posted four photographs and specified the terms of the sale:

  • Canon Digital Rebel XTi body, 10.1 megapixels (excellent condition)
  • 18-55mm kit lens (excellent condition)
  • 50 mm f/1.8 lens (excellent condition)
  • 2 GB memory card (excellent condition)
  • 2 NB-2LH batteries (excellent condition)
  • Battery charger (excellent condition)
  • Manufacturer’s Camera User Guide (excellent condition)
  • Canon EOS Digital Rebel XTi / 400D Digital Field Guide by Charlotte K. Lowrie (excellent condition)
  • UV Precision Optical Filter by Promaster 52 mm (excellent condition)
  • Samsonite camera case (excellent condition)
  • Custom made blue/brown paisley camera strap (excellent condition)
  • Original Canon camera strap (excellent condition)
  • EOS Digital Solution CD (excellent condition)
  • EOS Digital Software Instruction Manual (excellent condition)
  • Original box with all literature (excellent condition)

$350. Local buyers only, as I cannot ship. Cash only.

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The ad went live at 9:00 a.m. Within thirty minutes, my inbox was deluged with emails from the Lunatic Fringe:

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To my inbox: Canon sucks!

From my outbox: Oh, thank God! I was worried.

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To my inbox: Will you ship it to Utah?

From my outbox: Only if Utah ups and moves next door to me. It’s a three bedroom, 2½ bath, so it’ll be a tight squeeze.  Let me know how Utah feels about the whole thing and then we’ll talk.

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To my inbox: Will you take $20?

From my outbox: I bet the color of the sky in your world is polka dot. Am I right?

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To my inbox: Will you take a check? I’m good for it.

From my outbox: Will you take a kick in the gonads? I’m totally good for it.

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To my inbox: What exactly are you selling and what condition is it in?

From my outbox: I’m selling my spleen. Comes with a matching kidney and hair dryer. They’re in excellent condition. Was the ad not clear?

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To my inbox: Does the camera come with lessons?

From my outbox: Yes, can’t you see them? Right there, on the table? Next to the field guide? Those little blue sparkly things with the pink ribbons. Aren’t they pretty?

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To my inbox: What if I get it home and it doesn’t work?

From my inbox: Are you single? Because I’m betting you hear that a lot.

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To my inbox: I’ll pay $200 tonight. Cash. Meet me at the Marriott Hotel at 7:00, room 210A. Wear a black leather bra and panties and heels so we match. I’ve got lots of accessories. Bring a friend. Mike.

From my outbox: Sorry, can’t make it tonight. I’m busy providing the vice squad with your IP address.

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To my inbox: I’ll take it off your hands for $100. You should be grateful.

From my outbox: I should be thin too. Damn it all to hell.

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To my inbox: Wow – how’d you take that photo when the camera is in the photo? That blows my mind!

From my outbox: Dude, did you pay attention to the egg and skillet commercials at all?

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To my inbox: I think American Bandstand was a front for the communist regime.

From my outbox: OK, I’ll play. I think it had a great beat and was easy to dance to.

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To my inbox: I’m available at 7:04 tonight.

From my outbox: OK, but I’ve got plans at 7:13:48 so you’ll have to be quick about it.

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To my inbox: I’ll take it but if I don’t like it, I’m giving it back.

From my outbox: That’s what she said.

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To my inbox: Hey! This is my camera! I lost it last week! Who the hell do you think you are?

From my outbox: I’ll take Batshit Crazy for $300, Alex.

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To my inbox: You’ve got great taste. We should meet. Are you married? Not that it matters. What’s your name?

From my outbox: It’s Gonorrhea Chlamydia, but most people just call me Herpes for short. What’s yours?

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I did wind up selling the camera to a very nice man who stopped by on his way to a softball game. He seemed normal – no drooling or frothing at the mouth, no S&M getup, no bloody body parts hanging out of his pockets, no horns sprouting from his head, no speaking in tongues. He was beyond polite, paid the full amount in cash and even complimented me on the Carpe Diem wall art I’ve got hanging in my kitchen.

And his name was not Mike.

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26 comments

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{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

1
Heather T.
Twitter: heather_t_
May 15, 2010 at 11:10 pm

That’s still one of my favorite posts. Except considering the recent murders of CraigsListers in our area, I think I’d pass on listing anything there any more…
.-= Heather T.’s last blog post is here ..Two Beautiful New Products @ MScraps! =-.

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2
Kelly W May 16, 2010 at 12:39 am

that is just to funny. If I didn’t know better I would think you were making it up. thanks for the lolol
.-= Kelly W’s last blog post is here ..Wordless Wednesday: Our new puppy =-.

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3
Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity
Twitter: BabyRocasMama
May 16, 2010 at 1:44 am

OMG you are one of the funniest people! I am in stitches…”I’ll take Batshit Crazy for $300, Alex.”

ROTFLMFAO
.-= Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity’s last blog post is here ..You Almost Named Your Kid What??: MomDot’s Small Talk Six =-.

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4
Janmary, N Ireland May 16, 2010 at 2:02 am

Love the lemon challenge, although you would think that he would learn NOT to challenge any child created by you – that lemon did not fall far from the lemon tree!!
.-= Janmary, N Ireland’s last blog post is here ..Cloakroom Makeover and More Lessons Learned =-.

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5
pixielation
Twitter: pixielation
May 16, 2010 at 4:03 am

my 8 year old will eat the whole lemon – she loves them.
.-= pixielation’s last blog post is here ..In which I try, and fail to beat Pygmalion =-.

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6
Cheryl May 16, 2010 at 6:42 am

I’m guessing your husband’s new mantra is: Never ever offer a kid money for eating something.

Loved the Craigslist loony tunes. Nicely played.
.-= Cheryl’s last blog post is here ..Bee-dazzled, Bee-witched, and Bee-wildered =-.

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7
Nolie
Twitter: NoliesPlace
May 16, 2010 at 7:36 am

Love your replies. Can I borrow you next time I need to sell something online?

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8
Rachel Hawkins May 16, 2010 at 9:20 am

This is hilarious! I love how all the crazies hang out on CL.
.-= Rachel Hawkins’s last blog post is here ..Bolivia- part two =-.

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9
Grace2882 May 16, 2010 at 6:04 pm

This was hysterical. I have to share it with my daughter. She sells things all the time on Craigslist.

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10
Melissa May 16, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Smart girl Helena is. Love the craigslist post!! ROFLMAO

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11
Sunshine.shadows May 16, 2010 at 7:39 pm

I really hope those were the replies you sent them. They deserved it. This was such a funny post. I didn’t know about your blog last year, so I am glad you shared it again.
.-= Sunshine.shadows’s last blog post is here ..Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother =-.

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12
Jullie N May 16, 2010 at 7:51 pm

Omg, your posts are hilarious!!!! I recently came out of hiding from CL, can’t stand dealing the freaks… of course I can no longer park my car in the garage so I’m back at CL and getting the crazies from all over Seattle!

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13
Abigail May 17, 2010 at 8:07 am

Thanks for the giggles! Glad you found somebody sane to sell it to in the end.
Have you ever visited ‘yousuckatcraigslist.com’ ?
.-= Abigail’s last blog post is here ..How to make designer knitting needles from chopsticks =-.

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14
dtelisman May 17, 2010 at 11:40 am

So really, you’re the bookie, since the 20 bucks ultimately comes from you.
.-= dtelisman’s last blog post is here ..I Cry Over Spilled Milk =-.

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15
nicóle
Twitter: 2bnicole
May 17, 2010 at 12:54 pm

Only you could make the wack-jobs of Craigslist delightful!

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16
Lynsey Jones
Twitter: partyplandivas
May 17, 2010 at 11:06 pm

And THIS is why you are my favorite blogger ever lol Fabulous!
.-= Lynsey Jones’s last blog post is here ..The Power of Focus =-.

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17
Tess
Twitter: sixfeetunder
May 18, 2010 at 9:34 am

Craigslist scares me. I put an ad in there once and got all sorts of crazies!

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18
Scary Mommy May 18, 2010 at 12:55 pm

People are weird. There is no better place to learn that than Craigslist!

P.S. Congrats on your Parents Picks pre-nomination! Go, you!! http://www.parentsconnect.com/parents-picks/best-parenting-blogs

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19
Ms. Understood May 18, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Wow . . after all the wacky email, I would have made the buyer meet me in a well lit, public place . . . like the police station. Score for your daughter. Way to go.

Stopping by from SITS.
.-= Ms. Understood’s last blog post is here ..Playing in the Paint =-.

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20
octamom May 18, 2010 at 10:17 pm

This still makes me snort water out of my nose…and I’ve read it multiple times. You’re just the gift that keeps on giving, Girl…
Blessings!
.-= octamom’s last blog post is here ..Wicked Lil’ Things =-.

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21
Joy May 19, 2010 at 4:01 am

Oh my gosh… I laughed so hard at your post.. I am sorry… but it was cute.

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22
Katie
Twitter: EllisFan14
May 19, 2010 at 10:30 pm

Craigslist always freaks me the eff out. But despite that I still sell a bunch of crap on there. People love crap. They also love talking you down $20 for that crap, but hey, it’s crap.
.-= Katie’s last blog post is here ..Wordless Wednesday – 60 pounds lost (18 left to go) =-.

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23
Issa May 21, 2010 at 5:00 am

hahaha! I could not stop laughing! For real? Craigslist is that crazy?? Anyway, thank you for making me laugh today. I have totally exercised my lungs and stomach. :P
.-= Issa’s last blog post is here ..30-day Crafting Frenzy #29: Baby Felt Shoes =-.

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24
cindy May 23, 2010 at 2:27 pm

hil-effing-larious. i am going to have to sell something on craigslist just to get those kind of responses. that is just too.dang.funny

people are idiots, aren’t they?? lol
.-= cindy’s last blog post is here ..today’s post is brought to you by the color…. =-.

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25
Jeanne June 8, 2013 at 7:09 pm

Hilarious! I stumbled upon this post after I googled for craigslist canon dslr in my area… so glad I read this, it really had me lol’ing. Even made the cat jump once, poor kitty. heheh

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