Thank you. And? My mother-in-law opened her mouth and a potty came flying out. Who knew?

by Creative Junkie on June 14, 2011

You know how it is when you struggle with how to write something and then you type it, delete it, type it again and then delete it again? And you do this again and again and again until the eyeballs in your fingers glaze over?

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and it’s itchy.

So I will simply say thank you.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers.

For offering them up to my family without demanding details or an explanation in return.

For lifting my family up and wrapping them in the warm and comforting embrace of hope.

Your words have brought me a sense of peace amidst the screaming chaos. They have made me smile when I thought I had forgotten how.

I am humbled.

It is inevitable that I will come out of this darkness a changed person. It is my hope that I will come out a better one as well.

We are taking each day as it comes and hoping that one day soon, the good ones will outnumber the bad ones. Until then, I am trying to stay positive and, for the time being at least, avoid analyzing the male psyche because I’ve come to learn that analyzing the way men think is kind of like giving birth to an angry porcupine without drugs … it’s no fun and you bleed a lot.

I’m also trying to find my way back to writing as that has always been my comfort zone. I hope I stumble across the funny along the way. It’s got to be somewhere around here. I’m thinking it might be hiding underneath that moment last week when my mild-mannered, good-natured, docile, sixty-four year old mother-in-law yelled OH MY GOOD GOD FUCKING SHIT two seconds before she yelled DAMMIT, DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD?

See you soon.





Like it? Share it! Karma rocks:

{ 69 comments… read them below or add one }

Angie C. June 14, 2011 at 7:53 am

Even those that don’t know you in real life are here for you. (((hugs))) and best wishes….

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Twitter: householdsix
June 14, 2011 at 7:58 am

(((hugs))) and old ladies swearing is ALWAYS funny. Even if the moment as a whole isn’t, when you isolate that one moment, you can’t help but giggle a little.
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Tanya @ Sunday Baker June 14, 2011 at 7:58 am

Glad to see you are back! Big huge hugs to you and keep your sense of humor. Nothing gets someone through a crisis like humor, sometimes. I hope all is ok.
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Sky June 14, 2011 at 8:05 am

Thinking of you lots. Keep on keeping on friend.

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Heather @ nobody-but-yourself
Twitter: MissusSmith
June 14, 2011 at 8:12 am

(((HUGS))) I shall continue to periodically stalk you via text, my dear. (Um, is it even stalking if it is just periodic? Is *anything* associated with a period even something we want? I’m thinking not. Let me rephrase….) I shall continue to occasionally text you to check in. Thinking of you and the girls. And Oliver, too, who I hope has manned up enough to desist all indoor pooping activities. Though somehow I doubt that, because he is, of course, male…
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Dee June 14, 2011 at 8:33 am

OK, well, I am glad to see you are writing again. I think I know what happened but I will leave it to you to share, when you are ready. Sending prayers your way. Hang in there.
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Janmary, over here in Ireland but wish I was closer!
Twitter: Janmary3
June 14, 2011 at 8:40 am

So lovely to see you here, you have no idea 🙂

Don’t worry about trying to be funny – we love you anyway.

(although older people uncharacteristically swearing is hilarious)

Hang in there, hugs

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Caroline June 14, 2011 at 8:40 am

Oh, it’s so good to hear from you again! We’ll help you find the funny again, Junkie. Hang in there, you still have many prayers and (((((hugs))))) coming your way. Feel the love sweetie!

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stacey@Havoc&Mayhem June 14, 2011 at 9:06 am

{{{hugs}}}. It’s always hysterical when otherwise calm polite old ladies let fly with Fuck. 🙂
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Karen June 14, 2011 at 9:21 am

I have been thinking of you every day, and hope your life gets better soon.
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Melissa June 14, 2011 at 9:30 am

You’ve already started to find humor and have taken the first step by knowing that you need the support and recognizing the beauty of someone having your back regardless of the reason. Beauty and laughter can be found in every situation, sometimes you just have to look really hard. Hang tough!
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Twitter: tinster67
June 14, 2011 at 9:42 am

I will continue to keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers, Andy. I hope you all are okay, and that each day gets at least a little bit better than the last.

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jodi June 14, 2011 at 9:55 am

I lost my funny once. Thankfully I found it again after 6months of me hiding in the corner. You’ll find your once again. I’m sure of it.
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Granny Sue June 14, 2011 at 10:03 am


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Shop with Me Mama (Kim)
Twitter: shopwithmemama
June 14, 2011 at 10:20 pm


Continued prayers to you and your family hon.. HUGS.
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Victoria June 16, 2011 at 1:41 pm

hahahha aunt sue!!! 🙂 now the world know you have a potty mouth and your age! 😉

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Twitter: CarolynRva
June 14, 2011 at 10:05 am

Still praying and thinking of you and your family. And Granny Sue? She rocks. We are here for you all!

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Dot W June 14, 2011 at 10:14 am

Granny Sue is going to let fly again if you don’t correct her age 😉

Thinking of you–hugs!

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Jill/Twipply Skwood June 14, 2011 at 10:28 am

It IS hiding there, it IS! Many more prayers and thoughts your way. Jill
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Hey Jen June 14, 2011 at 10:32 am

Have been thinking of you. I know we don’t know each other, but I do think of you and am sending many positive thoughts.
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elisabeth June 14, 2011 at 10:57 am

Glad to see you back, I’ve been thinking of you and your family and sending up prayers for you all. I will continue to do so and your funny is always around! Especially yours, it has too much fun with you! It’s already having fun with your MIL! 😉 Blog when you can, we’ll all be here!

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Carola June 14, 2011 at 10:57 am

You WILL get through this and you WILL find your funny again. You are, after all, Andy!
Eventhough we only “know” eachother from the grand total of 2 emails, I think about you and the girls everyday, and wish you nothing but good things. Hugs!

Signed: one of your many Pea friends.

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Carola June 14, 2011 at 10:58 am

Oh, and granny Sue: YOU ROCK!

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Martha June 14, 2011 at 11:45 am

((hugs)) love ya girl! give oliver a big squeeze from me too…only not too hard! don’t want him to pop 😉

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Dot W June 17, 2011 at 8:58 pm
Katrina June 14, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Big hugs and lots of positive thoughts and prayers heading your way still, Andy. I’m sure you’ll find your funny.

And Granny Sue, you’re awesome.
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Twitter: RJFerret
June 14, 2011 at 12:54 pm

First, hugs. Second, funny is not required, writing is cathartic even without the funny.

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Ann June 14, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Glad to see you back. Lots of people were worried about you. Hope you find your “normal” soon.
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Bobbie June 14, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I am sorry for everything you are going through. I really wish there was a button to push to make it all go away. I’d be first in line to push it for you. Life hands us situations that are not always the best, but somehow we manage to get through them. You’ve got a lot of support, which is great. I am confident that you will find your way in the end. You are a very strong, amazingly beautiful woman; and your rock our socks! Focus on the positive & take things one day at a time as you have been 🙂 lots of prayers and love!
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Heather T.
Twitter: heather_t_
June 14, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Oh Sweetie… big, big hugs! If you ever want to come hide on the west coast while you heal, we’re here… =)
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Debbie Gabura
Twitter: Gabura
June 14, 2011 at 2:49 pm

We are all here for you collectively ((((hugs))))
You are awesome!

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Tania June 14, 2011 at 3:03 pm

I’m sorry you’re going through a difficult time right now. You’re in my prayers. Be gentle with yourself as you sort things out.
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Twitter: Wickedlychic
June 14, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Yeah…she’s only 63. What were you thinking, Andy?


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Twitter: Taylor
June 14, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Sending you lots of positive energy and happy thoughts. Your writing is an inspiration and whether you find the funny or not (although I’m sure it’s just a matter of time) – I will look forward to every update. Hang in there!

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Cindy W. June 14, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Sounds like you got lucky and got great MIL, what’s not to like about a woman who knows the power of a good curse word or four. Glad you are feeling up to writing again, I will continue to send positive thoughts your way.

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Toni June 14, 2011 at 8:48 pm

I’ve just found you and I’m sending hugs for whatever may be in your life at the moment. Older, more mature, people cussing is seriously funny, unless of course it’s an every day happening and then it’s just, well, something you roll your eyes at. 🙂
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Crystal @ Simply Being Mommy June 14, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Big {hugs}!
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Shannon June 14, 2011 at 11:05 pm

SO glad to see you for even just a funny moment! We’ll be here waiting for you! (((hugs)))

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Twitter: TheLittleKitchn
June 14, 2011 at 11:30 pm

{hugs} {hugs} {hugs} to you and your family. Still thinking of you.
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kiku June 15, 2011 at 12:12 am

It’s amazing what a little sincere compassion can do for a hurting heart when things are hard. Wish I could do more for you and your family. We continue to keep you close in thought and prayers. Glad to hear from you.

And. . . that extra year might come back and bite you in the ass. . . that is. . . if your mild-mannered 63 year old mil takes up swearing again 🙂 Otherwise it’ll just bite you in the bum. She’s awesome!

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Heather June 15, 2011 at 12:24 am

You’re tough enough to make it Andy – and I’m sure you’re funny will be around to help. (((HUGS)))

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Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity
Twitter: BabyRocasMama
June 15, 2011 at 1:21 am

I was very happy to find this in my inbox just now. You DID make a couple funnies in your post, just sayin’.

And trying to understand the male psyche??? What the fuck are you trying to do, Andy, make certain your brain implodes?? Just stop. It can never be understood. And the invention and easy access to Viagra has made it even worse. Although, hitting one of those male psyches over the head with a heavy, blunt instrument always makes women feel better.

PS: My offer still stands. I’m still in one of those moods. 😀
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Twitter: armsofasister
June 15, 2011 at 8:01 am

Glad to see the post. I’m pryaing that you’re working through this one moment at a time, and that you’re getting your funny back…slowly. Even slowly is wonderful! Even if it runs and hides again.

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Blissful Babe
Twitter: BlissfulBabe
June 15, 2011 at 8:18 am

I have to agree. Swearing is always funny. ESPECIALLY when it comes from the ‘older’ generation. Or your mom. Which ever comes first. Sending lots of hugs and warm funny fuzzies from the Midwest. Keeping you & the girls ever in my prayers. Thank you for checking in!

Rock on Granny Sue!! \m/ \m/
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Heather M June 15, 2011 at 9:31 am

I may know what you’re going through.. I just lost my Dad to Cancer on June4th. He was diagnosed sometime in the middle of april and then it was a very short time and he was gone. Just be strong when you need to, Cry a whole hell of a lot and let it out and you’ll be ok eventually 🙂 (or at least thats what I keep telling myself)

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Lisa @ Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy
Twitter: lisanoel03
June 15, 2011 at 10:24 am

still thinking about you and your family!!!!
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Irishwed June 15, 2011 at 12:07 pm

We don’t need to know the details. Only that you are hurting.
You hurt.
We pray.
We love.
In the end, when you are able to rejoice, we will rejoice with you.

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Paula @ Frosted Fingers
Twitter: frostedfingers
June 15, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Huge hugs!!
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Julie June 15, 2011 at 3:41 pm

I’ve been time traveling through your blog to cheer myself up. Broken is me too, (oddly around the 7th also, but for different reasons). Anyway, what I want to say is that everyone deserves to be supported without being asked to share why they need support. The most important thing is to support someone, not beg details from them; especially online where even if you felt comfortable sharing details, a lot of us couldn’t do much in a three-dimensional-baking you ziti and bringing it over still warm-kind of way. All the best to you, you are in my thoughts, and I hope we are each able to pick up our collective pieces at some point.

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Esther June 15, 2011 at 9:23 pm

Hopefully your mild mannered MIL will continue to vocally surprise everyone. If it gives a moment to think about “something else” it’s worth it. Prayers and thoughts to you.

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Victoria June 16, 2011 at 1:40 pm

OMGOSH Aunt Sue!!!??…..hahah….

and i hope you know the Schmelz Family in PA had you and your family in our prayers as well 🙂

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Stacie @ The Divine Miss Mommy
Twitter: Mommy
June 17, 2011 at 9:35 pm

That is funny about your mother in law. Good to see your writing, even a little. 🙂

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Jenn White
Twitter: ScrapprsWkshp
June 17, 2011 at 11:05 pm

That’s why I’m looking forward to being an old lady… people will think it’s cute and funny when I swear.
Hugs for you, you’re all in our thoughts and prayers.
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Kelly W June 18, 2011 at 1:49 am

thinking of you and thought you might need some of this

sending you lots of (((hugs)))
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nicóle June 18, 2011 at 8:08 am

thinking of you. xo

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Twitter: kwr221
June 18, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Hugs. And dammit we still need to do lunch!

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Kimberly June 19, 2011 at 9:10 am

((( HUGS ))) I’m glad to see that you still haven’t lost your great sense of humor. I’m sorry for all you are going through. I am sending positive thoughts and well wishes your way.

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hairstyles for girls June 21, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Thinking of you!
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Jenna @ For The Love of Baby June 22, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Thinking of you all right now <3
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Lisa from Life with Lisa
Twitter: lisasamples
June 23, 2011 at 10:15 am

Andy, it doesn’t seem like it but one day the good ones will outweigh the bad. Hang in there.
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Amy @ GrinningCheektoCheek
Twitter: GrinCheek2Cheek
June 23, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Glad to see that you’re getting on… and Geez Louise, Grandma!
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Lorie Shewbridge
Twitter: LorieShewbridge
June 23, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Know that love and prayers are with you and your girls, always.
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Deborah June 24, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Oh my! Hugs, prayers, we’re with you.
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Kimberly June 27, 2011 at 9:30 am

I hope all is well. I miss reading your funny posts. ((( HUGS )))
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jasmine June 27, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Hang in there gal. Be the shark! Love your blog every post, and you still got it! Your funny, witty, and clever. Always have something to add to an intellectual world. 🙂
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Esther June 27, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Checking in on you each day to see if you are “back”. Thoughts and prayers continue to come from here.

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Courtney June 27, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Hugs!! Thinking of you!
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Cindy W. June 29, 2011 at 9:31 am

Hope you and yours are doing better. Still sending positive thoughts your way.

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kiku June 29, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Still thinking of you all and sending our prayers.

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