Andrea

Andrea

Why can’t the D.O.T. pave our highways with antacids instead of gravel? Then this crap wouldn’t happen to me.

Remember me almost exactly two months ago, to the day?

I was the one whose windshield was the recipient of a pebble fart from a passing snowplow, causing it to crack like a plumber’s fanny and I didn’t have glass coverage on my auto policy? And I wound up adding glass coverage for a measly $9 a year but not before I had to pay out the nose for a brand new windshield, which I did by yanking a snot-covered check for $200 out of my left nostril and handing it over to the filthiest, scuzziest garage in western New York because they wouldn’t take credit cards? The same garage from which I almost contracted emphysema because it stuck its tobacco-infested tongue down my throat and french kissed my esophagus without my permission, five minutes before the rest of me was accosted by not one, not two but three drunkards, all while my fallopian tubes almost froze together?

Any of that ring a bell?

Guess what?

I-390 North is a raging, pebble-strewn, assy douche noodle with a shitty sense of humor. And acid reflux.

Later today, I’ll be having my almost brand new, $200 windshield replaced.

After that, I have my yearly appointment to have my boobs squished flat in an x-ray machine.

Guess which one of these appointments I’ll find immensely more enjoyable?

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12 thoughts on “Why can’t the D.O.T. pave our highways with antacids instead of gravel? Then this crap wouldn’t happen to me.”

  5. Avatar
    Tammy

    Did the chip spread into a crack? <– okay that sounds wrong on a whole ton of levels so get your mind out of the gutter, you know exactly what I mean!

    We've had a chip on our windshield about 7 years ago, and it cracked about 2 inches from the chip, but they were able to do something where they stopped it from going any further, it only cost us about $25, and has held all these years.

    Reply
  8. Avatar
    monique

    Yikes. That’s definitely bad luck. I’d be so pissed!

    I think your insurance company might just repair that chip rather than replace the whole thing. Usually if the “problem” is smaller than a dollar bill, they’re repair it instead.

    Reply
  11. Avatar
    Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity

    Dude, that BLOWS.

    Which reminds me, I’m overdue for the “stand right here while we TRY to squish your ginormous boobs flatter than a pancake between two cold steel plates and pull it to the other side of the room but have to keep readjusting and bitching because you’re so tall and have ginormous natural tits we can’t afford to buy ourselves.” test.

    I hate that damn test. And the skinny little twits who perform it on me.

    Reply

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