As if I don’t have enough to do already, what with breathing and everything

It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these, but I’m quickly learning that the older I get, the more forgetful I get.

Who are you, again?


Basically, if I don’t write it down, chances are it’s not going to be bought, cleaned, dropped off, picked up, returned, fed or sent to college.

Besides, writing stuff down like this kind of makes me feel accountable to myself. So, in the event I blow off anything on this list, I hereby give myself permission to take me to task and publicly humiliate me.

However, I’m totally open to looking the other way in exchange for a donut.

Just in case I’m listening.

Who am I again?


My To Do list:

  • I need to paint the interiors of my closets. I’m sick and tired of facing the twenty year old depressing, dingy, flat, ugly builder’s paint every time I hang up a coat or put away my groceries or store my towels. I need to paint my closets a nice, bright, cheery white that actually makes me want to open their doors and feed them. And bonus! Doing so will satisfy my quota I like to refer to as COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS ISSUES WHICH ARE NOT REALLY PROBLEMS BUT WHICH REQUIRE IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NONETHELESS for the remainder of the year and thus, make Nate very happy. It’s a win win!
  • I need to find pretty pails or buckets and fill them with bathroom cleaning supplies and then put one in each of our 2.5 bathrooms. I’m betting that if I eliminate half the work involved in cleaning a bathroom (i.e., running up and down the stairs to the laundry room to fetch and return the toilet bowl cleaner) and keep the supplies replenished and handy, there’s a greater chance that the bathrooms might actually be cleaned more often. Or, I could simply get rid of the three other humans who share this house, and thereby have perfectly clean bathrooms all the time. Decisions are hard.
  • I need to buy Pat Conroy’s latest book, South of Broad, because I’ve read all of his books and he’s my favorite author and it’s the first book he’s written in almost fifteen years and what the hell, Mr. Conroy? You couldn’t have given me a head’s up? Am I your stalker or not? You need to pay me more attention. I take my stalking very seriously … just ask Anderson Cooper. You guys can compare restraining orders. Not being the first to know something about your books is a serious hit to my rep, Mr. Conroy. Can I call you Pat? I thought one of the perks of stalking you was getting an advanced copy? Am I just wasting my time with you? Because there ‘s a whole slew of celebrities just dying to get on my stalker list, you know. Gerard Butler is probably waiting by the phone as I type. I don’t appreciate having to find out about South of Broad by accidentally crashing my shopping cart into an eight foot high display of it at Wegmans, causing a literary avalanche of epic proportions. I’m not sure what I’m more embarrassed by … the fact that I had to quickly push my cart into the frozen food section before anyone saw me or the fact that I screamed DONALD PATRICK CONROY, YOU ARE IN A WORLD OF TROUBLE, MR. MAN. YOU ARE <> THIS CLOSE TO LOSING A STALKER AND GOING TO TIME OUT before doing so.
  • I need to put our Christmas wreath away. It’s been sitting on a shelf beside the front door since last January. Then again, if I choose to ignore it as I have for the past nine months, I won’t have to drag my ass into the basement and hunt for it the day after Thanksgiving. I’m mulling it over. Mulling, mulling …
  • I need to boot up Excel and create a working outline for my mid-life crisis which I’ve tentatively scheduled for next spring, provided the plastic surgeon is back from vacation, the machine shop has fabricated my stripper pole and the tattoo artist has created my custom ink by then.
  • I need to lose eight pounds by 6:30 tonight. I’m considering amputating my legs and wheeling myself in on Helena’s scooter.
  • I need to finish my blog redesign. Or I need to pay someone to do it for me. Which brings me to my final item:
  • I need to win the lottery.


What’s on your to-do list?



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27 thoughts on “As if I don’t have enough to do already, what with breathing and everything”

  1. Avatar

    good list. the bathroom basket idea is excellent…

    on my list:
    –unpack the boxes and get our house situated so I can focus on decorating 🙂
    –find a new job

    most pressing:
    –stay awake for the remainder of my 12 hour night shift at the hospital. (thank God for entertaining blogs such as yours + internet access…)

  2. Avatar

    I’m ignoring my list right now. It’s over in the corner taunting me.

    Having the bathroom supplies in each bathroom does actually increase the chance you’ll clean them. I did this in our house. My husband thought it was ridiculous, but he will even clean a bathroom now and again since the supplies are right under the sink all neatly in a bucket for him. I suggest starting at the $1 store. If you go to Target or Walmart you’ll walk out with $200 worth of stuff when you only needed about $30 worth.

  3. Avatar

    I forgot to add, you can get Ajax at the $1 store, and it’s the best stove cleaner ever. Unless you have one of those flat tops that requires some special flat top stove cleaner.

  4. Avatar

    Totally agreed: keeping the supplies in each bathroom makes it easier to get the job done. I’d skip the cute buckets and just go for functional, otherwise the men in the house will balk. Actually, I just keep a can of Comet or Barkeeper’s friend under each sink with a long-handled scrub brush, and a sponge behind the faucet. Bleach cakes are already in the toilet tanks keeping that job mostly under control. Then I just pick a victim every week and say, “hey Ryan (Sean, Allie, Molly, or Danny)–it’s your week to clean the kids’ bathroom.” Seems to work 80% of the time. The other 20% I ignore, since I don’t use their bathroom anyway.

    Personally, I need to pick a paint color for the downstairs powder room, which is getting a new countertop on Monday. Then I need to paint the ugly 70s “paneling” in my family room and get a new couch. Then I need to single-handedly demo my ugly 70s kitchen with a sledge hammer to make room for the gorgeous kitchen redo that I will no doubt receive for free once I’ve posted current pics on “Rate My Space.”

  5. Avatar

    Ohh, I read so with pleasure in your Blog!
    You have a wonderful kind to describe your life and your thoughts!

    My list: I would like to make clear to my parents politely that I have arisen at the age of 35 years and lead my own life; I would like to visit with pleasure a dance – course; I would like to have less lovesickness; I would like to protect my son always because it is my quite big luck; and if I again won in the Lottery… my luck would be (almost) perfect

  6. Avatar

    good luck with the leg amputation!
    the supplies in each bathroom really works….
    the christmas wreath may as well sit another couple of months – will save you two extra trips on the stairs.

    my list – just win the lottery. yeah, that would simply eliminate every single other item on my list.

  7. Avatar

    ROFL … serisouly are you this damn amusing offline…if so can we be besties? I make good cookies and can supply you with chocolate!

    On my to do list:

    Call the dance school… where my dd takes music lessons…yes the dane school lol…and ask wth I am paying for 45 min lessons but every time the teacher says my dd is so good she is done in 30!I want my minutes…they should totally rollover.

    Clean my bedroom, which currently has an entire dresser’s worth of clothes on the floor thanks to my dh trying to “fin” something. ughh…right!

    Clean my bathroom…right after I go buy buckets of pretty supplies. (I’m going to Target!)

    Fix that darn scrap kit I’m making, cause it has jaggies…grrr…hate those things!

    oh, right. and stop typing cause I talk too much and I really should go, so yea, bye!

    although…I might come back later 😛

  8. Avatar

    That’s quite a list! I’m sure you’ll finish it in no time!

    And I think that was exceptionally rude of Pat Conroy not to personally call you and let you know his book was coming out. The nerve of some people!

    Stopping by from SITS to say hello!

  9. Avatar

    I’d just leave the wreath up at this point. Some stores have already jumped to christmas displays, you are in on the latest trend.

    My to do list involves a thorough scrubbing of the boys bathroom to try & find out where ‘that smell’ is coming from. Is lack of proper cleaning or something more sinister & expensive involving the plumbing?

  10. Avatar

    I am waiting until the Conroy book comes out in paperback, because I heard it wasn’t too great. I have read everything he ever wrote, including the cookbook, but I am in no hurry to read South of Broad. I have to finish the new Dan Brown book and the new Diana Gabaldon book first. If you’ve never read her, read Gabaldon. Read Outlander first. You will be hooked. She rocks.

  11. Avatar

    I think on a point of principle you should NOT put the wreath away – then you can justify leaving it since January.

    I have so many things I should be doing that I am scared to make a list! I am in denial and I like it that way 🙂

  12. Avatar

    Hmmm, liking the get rid of other family members so that I will have 2.5 clean bathrooms as well. Already tried the 3 bottles of cleaner — one under each sink. Apparently, I’m the only one who knows how to operate the toilet bowl brush.

  13. Avatar

    LOL! ok well lets see. First of all x the x-mas wreathe! It’ll soon be back up there, it’s almost that time…again.

    As for me? lists? HA! The better question for me would be what would NOT be on my list! I’ve pretty much convinced myself that aside from the cleaning that must be done, ya know for health’s sake? the rest can/should and will wait till all kids are old enough to be embarrassed by it! Then maybe they’ll do it for me or risk a girlfriend or boyfriend seeing it and thinking they were born and are living in a barn 😉

    I really, really want to do something for me though. I’m tired of tired so maybe I’ll crack open the PS this weekend! That’ll be at the top of my “to-do” dream 😀

  14. Avatar

    Wow, that’s some list!!! My to-do is list consists of making 2 birthday cakes, one for Cole and one for Bella. Making sure everything’s falling into place for their party on Saturday. And hoping and praying that no one gets sick before then.

  15. Avatar

    Do you really want to know? Sit down and pour yourself a cup of java and make some food first because I’ll have to come to your house to tell you because my fingers would get too tired to type it all. lol

  16. Avatar

    Do you really want to know? Sit down and pour yourself a cup of java first because I’ll have to come to your house to tell you because my fingers would get too tired to type it all. lol

  17. Avatar

    Have you gotten the Pat Conroy book yet? YOU HAVE TO RIGHT NOW!

    I downloaded it from Audible the first day it became available there. It is *good*. Prince of Tides good. Seriously, all the other stuff on your list can, will and should wait.

    Go now. Read it by Sunday and then we can discuss.

    Put down the donut and GO!

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