Happy birthday, Peanut.

My apathetic, expressionless, indifferent little ten year old.

My stoic, impassive, uncommunicative, emotionless, vacuous, lackluster, bespectacled closed book, encapsulated in a wet blanket.

Why do you find it so difficult to emote? Why must you be so detached from life?


HAHAHAHAHAHA. As if, right?

I know! Like, ten years ago, I didn’t give birth to one of the most lively, enthusiastic, animated, exuberant, effusive, sideline-phobic, spirited participants in life EVER.

Hello, I’m the Creative Junkie and I’m an addict. is my crack.

Nice to meet, rendezvous and make your acquaintance.

I’m beginning to suspect that you’ve been letting Daddy listen to Pop2K on XM Radio again because, this?

This is his signature move.

When he’s not doing that weird “running man” thing or that weirder “I have a charlie horse in my leg” thing, I mean.

Am I right?

Honey, when you indulge Daddy by letting him dance out loud, you are only encouraging him. And what do we say when Daddy tries to find rhythm?

Do you remember?


Yes, exactly.

It’s for his own safety. Otherwise, Daddy is going to start thinking he’s actually good. And then what? Next thing you know, Daddy’s going to be listening to Katy Perry over the sound system and get the urge to get his freak on right there in the middle of Home Depot and then where will we be? Aside from hunting down the manager to tell him that there’s a poor, strange man having an epileptic seizure in plumbing and by the way, where can we find copper tubing?

I know! That’s how I feel too. No one wants to see Daddy get shot with a tranquilizer gun.

By the way, “get your freak on” means dance, right?

Should I have said “groove” instead?

Is it wrong I’m asking a ten year old this?

I think you’re right, pumpkin. So let’s just forget I said anything.

In fact, let’s forget this entire conversation.

Except when I said Happy birthday, Peanut.

Because that was my favorite part.



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16 thoughts on “Book.Wide.Open.”

  1. Avatar

    Happy birthday to your daughter – as they say – the apple has not fallen far from the tree…..or should that be the red door!

    (Great door by the way – is it yours?)

    It is my birthday tomorrow and I can GUARANTEE that there will not be a gazillion pics of me on my blog, no matter what colour the door is!

    1. Avatar

      Hey JM! No, the door isn’t ours – I wish! We went on a photography class field trip to our city and I found the door there. Isn’t it fantastic?

  2. Avatar

    First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the DOUBLE DIGITS girl!! 😀 WOOHOO!

    Secondly, as long as Nate isn’t doing the “lawn sprinkler” dance move, it’s all good.

    Lastly, the *one* time I tried to do the “charlie horse in the leg” move? I fell flat on my face.

    Okay, fine, yes, actually I tried it (and fell) twice. What? You fall off the horse and you’re supposed to get right back on again. I am totally like Eugene Levy in Best in Show – two left feet.

  3. Avatar

    What beautiful pictures! Happy Birthday, Helena. I, too, am married to a man with a chronic case of “white boy rhythm” but I try to focus on the silver lining. He makes me look like a *much* better dancer than I actually am.

  4. Avatar

    Hooray for the double digits! (Until you hit 40 that is, then it’s all downhill from there. *lol*) Hope she has a fabulous birthday! 🙂

  5. Avatar

    You knocked this one out of the park. Yes, is dealer. And you had me chuckling through the whole post until you got to the end. Had to go pull my heart strings. Thanks.

    She’s a gorgeous kid and you are so lucky to have each other.

  6. Avatar

    Happy Birthday Helena!!! All she needs now to match Hannah is a Justin Bieber t-shirt! Ditch Katy Perry! LOL! Hey girl (yes YOU mamma)! Congrats on the newspaper article!! I saw that from your twitter sidebar!! GREAT pic!! WOOT!! YOU HAVE MADE IT 😀 I told ya so 😉 :p

  7. Avatar

    Happy Birthday! Keep rockin’ girl and drag mom and dad to the party… they’ll kick and scream along the way, but they’ll love it. —Harry Mason :: Harry Mason Designer Jewelry

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