I am now officially toast


I am now officially the mother of a tenth grader.

Which means that pretty soon, I will be dealing with AP history, chemistry, dating, curfews, learning permits, driver’s ed and ultimately, the driver’s license, also known as the Holy Grail.


I am also now officially the mother of a fourth grader.

Which means that pretty soon, I will be dealing with Pioneer Days, the violin, long division of three digit numbers and finding common denominators.

If I recall correctly, it took almost one entire school year, buckets of tears, millions of hair follicles, ten years off my life and a dent in our kitchen’s brick wall in the shape of my head to convince this recently graduated third grader that 8 x 6 = 48.

All things considered, I think I’ll take my chances with sitting in the passenger seat of a ten year old Honda that leaks transmission fluid while my tenth grader gets behind the wheel and drives 55+ miles an hour on a four lane expressway in rush hour traffic for the first time in her life.

It probably has a better mortality rate than converting fractions into decimals.





Share this post

22 thoughts on “I am now officially toast”

  1. Avatar

    “I will be dealing with AP history”

    Be patient with her learning history. Remember, there’s a lot more history for kids to learn nowadays than when we were in school. You know, back in pre-history.

  2. Avatar

    We have a newly minted HS Freshman in full teenage attitude display – I swear she wears it like a peacock some days! I feel your pain and share your trepidation at the whole driving thing. At least we have one year longer than you before the magic learner’s permit age is reached! 😛
    Hard to believe they grow so fast!

  3. Avatar

    Okay smarty pants what is 6 x 8 then? Geesh you math nerds.
    My sons are grown…I remember grade 10…mostly in scary flashbacks though. The doctors are hopeful they will stop in a few years. Good luck.

  4. Avatar

    ACK! lol! Well just wait Andy. The real fun begins after she gets her license! Then you’ll take years off your life just letting her go out on that high way alone…ugh

  5. Avatar

    I have a brilliant idea!! If your offspring do not behave properly – – you can offer to share Hildegard and ALL of her yet-to-be-named successors!!

    Boy, that would certainly straighten my arse out quick!


  6. Avatar

    Oh no driver’s ed….you will definitely need some muscle relaxers for that. I remember when my dad tried to teach me how to drive….it was ugly, real ugly.

    Your girls are gorgeous, BTW!!

  7. Avatar

    Another way of looking at it, Oh Mother of Said 10th and 4th Graders, is that you should be able to gather much more blog material from your upcoming adventures….

    Always looking for the silver lining….


  8. Avatar

    I have a 6th grader and a 17 year old. Welcome to my world. I have a lot of grey hair. I am too tired to even bother coloring it.

  9. Avatar

    too bad you live 7 hrs away cuz I’d be right over with a gallon of margaritas to drown your anxieties. an alcohol stupor can help you cope. keep that in mind will ya?

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *