If you make a living as a chauffeur for fecal matter, I guess you had better have a sense of humor

Yesterday, it took me one hour to drive one mile YES I SAID ONE FREAKING MILE and I don’t even live in LA.

I live in western New York where Route 590 is a goddamn, filthy cesspool of traffic jam every morning.

Periodically, while at yet another dead stop, I’d yell SHIT SHIT SHITTY SHIT SHIT ON A STICK at the miles of vehicles stretched out before me, including this one, whose cargo, I believe, turned out to be quite prophetic.

Irony, thy name is Witty Septic Guy.



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50 thoughts on “If you make a living as a chauffeur for fecal matter, I guess you had better have a sense of humor”

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    I would want to hurt myself every morning if I had to drive in traffic like that.

    On another note, I bet that kind of daily stress would qualify you for medical marijuana. You should look into that.

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    On the back of one of our local (Maryland) septic company’s trucks, it reads “Politicians’ promises on board.” I’ve followed that one a few times. All of their trucks have witty sayings. Who knew septic company owners had a universal sense of humor?

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    Yeah, 590 is a pot-hole laden stretch of traffic hell. So is 490. And 390. Basically, all of our “expressways” are the exact opposite of “express” during any hour remotely connected with “commuting to work” – this is no small part of why we moved from one side of the county to the other. I’m so glad that I live close enough to my work that I could walk and/or ride a bike there. Could, mind you. Theoretically. Not that I actually *have* or anything.

    Witty Septic Guy made me snicker.

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    Maybe you could walk the mile: just rope the wheel and leave the car in neutral and have other people push it, then you can hop back in when it catches up. Exercise, less frustration!

    And that’s a pretty darn funny sign…

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    Before moving to California 5 years ago, we lived in Webster NY. Our septic tank cleaner’s name was Mr. Pitts… Ironic how a name can so fit the profession.

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    LOL that was disgusting, just think what was inside that tank makes you say yuck! well better off to just slow down on the side then let it pass for about 20 minutes. It was not your day friend! better to follow a forklift that that.

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    I’ve been reading all of your posts about Oliver (and a few other ones too, I thouroughly enjoy your wit!) and I was wondering if you could tell me where you got him? My dog Persie (short for Persistent, she was a barker) died recently and I’ve made a deal with my parents to buy another dog in January. Persie was a shih-tzu and I really like the shih-poo mix. I live in Massachusetts but I’m having trouble finding a reputable shih-poo breeder anywhere near here, so New York isn’t looking too bad if thats where you got him! (Also he is incredibly adorable, despite his defecation problems!) If you could help me out I would greatly appreciate it! Thank you!

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    This is so funny! So where are the kiddos?lols I definitely love the humor of the driver’s or owner of the septic tank! Anyway, be glad because it is not every morning that you can see that!

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    HA! Also: ew. That’s a job I definitely wouldn’t want.

    …and hey, this is my first time here and I notice you love Nutella and Anderson Cooper too. You clearly have impeccable taste.

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