Anybody out there?
Helllllooooooo? ((peering into my monitor))
Can anyone hear me out there?
You’re all gone, aren’t you? You’re at barbecues, parties, the beach, any place but here, right? I don’t blame you one bit. Good for you.
I’m here. At least, I hope I’m here. We scheduled a short vacation at the end of last week and I didn’t think I’d have time to write a post when we returned and because I wanted to make sure there was a post ready and waiting for you today, I wrote one ahead of time and scheduled it to post this morning. Isn’t that efficient? Or maybe it’s just weird.
Of course, I didn’t have time to write anything even remotely interesting. Hence, you’re stuck with this God awful boring post. I’m sorry. You deserve better than this. Feel free to yell at me.
If I had time, I’d rewrite this entire post in favor of something about our vacation because I’m sure we had a great time. And I’m assuming that I took a bunch of pictures and I’m hoping that God decided to surprise me and have some of those pictures actually turn out well instead of like crap because all my camera seems capable of is crap. No matter how much I yell at it, it doesn’t listen to me and continues to take crappy pictures. It’s a DSLR and for those of you who have no idea what DSLR stands for, I’ll tell you. It’s an acronym for DAMN STUPID LITTLE RATSHIT. To be technically correct, it should be called DSLRTCALOM which is an acronym for DAMN STUPID LITTLE RATSHIT THAT COSTS A LOT OF MONEY.
Anyway, I’m sure that if I had time to rewrite this post, I’d want to include some vacation photos. But knowing me, any photos I took are probably still on the memory card which is probably still in the camera which is probably still packed in its case and I’ll probably be too lazy to get the thing out and fiddle around with that USB thing that magically takes my pictures from my camera and throws them into my computer.
So, I’m sorry but you’re stuck with this post until I can get my act together today.
Assuming that everything went well and that I’m actually here, I’m going to be staying home today. I’m probably buried up to my eyeballs in laundry and there’s probably nothing in our house to eat and the kids are probably at each other’s throats because they’ve been with each other constantly for the past couple of days.
In other words, if everything has gone according to plan, it will be a very typical day in the Chamberlain household.
And if everything has not gone according to plan … well, then, I’m probably not here. I have no idea where I am. Wherever it is, I hope I’m enjoying myself. And I hope someone will come looking for me, but only after I’ve had a good time. And I hope George Clooney is there. Don’t tell Nate.
But whether I’m here or not, I still want to wish all of you inside the U.S. a very Happy Labor Day!
Don’t be literal and work today. Be figurative and enjoy yourself.
And to all of you outside the U.S., Happy Monday!
And a very special shout out to any and all of you who have been or will be touched by Gustav in some way, shape or manner – you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hate hurricanes. I don’t know anyone who likes them except for those crazy people who want to take pictures of them. Even if I’m not here, I know me and I know I’m going to be worried about you, wherever I am.
Please stay safe.