I’ve got so many flecks of Dusty Moss in my hair, I look like a premenopausal chia pet. And I feel just like an emotionally unstable Van Gogh, except I typed this with two ears.

I’m sorry I haven’t been around lately.

I’ve been busy having an emotional breakdown or two. Or thirty.

God, those things are exhausting.

But I take a breather every so often to paint!

Painting is so much more constructive than losing my shit, even if it is sweatier.

No portraits or landscapes or still lifes for me, though. I’m painting walls. A lot of them. Just in case you were wondering how a simple watercolor brush could make my right bicep look pregnant and cause my entire arm to hang lower than my kneecaps.

If I had known that the collateral damage from having my life implode would result in me acting upon those sudden and irresistible urges to splash some color on all the walls of my house? I would have asked Nate to lose his mind years ago. As it is, my family room and my bedroom now look years younger. And bonus! On days I forget to shave, I am being mistaken for a lopsided primate.

Go ahead. Be jealous.

Soon, I hope to show you our new photo wall in our freshly painted family room. I have to make sure that all the frames are absolutely, utterly and perfectly aligned because otherwise, THE WORLD WILL TOTALLY END. Also? It’s damn near impossible to take a picture of an unaligned photo wall when my left eye is twitching and I’m having a seizure.

In the meantime, I wanted to thank you all again for your comments, thoughts and prayers. They have brought me such comfort, you would not believe. You guys are like warm, gooey macaroni and cheese, without all the belching and quadruple bypass. To maintain a few shreds of dignity in this mess, I won’t be writing about what’s happening over here except to simply say that if you’ve been around here for awhile, you know that my family, even the furry, pooping member, is my life. Nothing is more important to me. I’m willing to fight tooth and nail for us. To keep us, us. I have no idea if we will survive but I can’t live with myself if I don’t try. So? Here’s to some big, fat globs of hope that I don’t wind up walking this earth alone with bloody fingertips, gumming baby food, for naught.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.




Share this post

47 thoughts on “I’ve got so many flecks of Dusty Moss in my hair, I look like a premenopausal chia pet. And I feel just like an emotionally unstable Van Gogh, except I typed this with two ears.”

  1. Avatar

    Hugs Sweet heart. Can’t wait to see your wall makeovers. If you get bored or need more walls. My walls in Germany can be your canvas as well.

  2. Avatar

    Guess what? I painted walls too. Completely dismantled the entire downstairs starting with pulling off the wallpaper that my grandparents had pasted on over 30 years ago. It was a “we project” and we had rules about the things we could talk about as we started the process of figuring out what we valued. It proved to be a good “battle ground” for us. Three years later (uh, this would be just two weeks ago), we painted our bedroom under a completely different emotional mindset. So, dig in and paint even if your heart’s in your mouth. Get messy and see what comes out of it.

  3. Avatar

    So glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor! I miss your hilarious posts and wish you the best. I hope you can work out your problems.

  4. Avatar

    I know things are difficult for you right now, but it’s good to hear from you. πŸ™‚

    Take care, sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

  5. Avatar

    I think I can read enough between the lines to imagine what’s going on with you. Could be because I’m going through the same. I recognise the pain. My heart and love goes out to you and your family. It’s not encouraging but you will have to hit bottom before you can attempt the climb out. So please, let your humor carry you through this as it WILL get easier day by day. And from the looks of it, you have hundreds of sisters that are there for you. You just have to remember to breathe.

    Take care…

  6. Avatar

    I’ve ridden the Emotional Rollercoaster a time or two myself…NOT my favorite ride at Crazy Land, by a long shot. It’s a good thing they didn’t have a Target Shooting booth open during my visit. πŸ˜‰
    {{Hugs}} to you and the girls.

  7. Avatar

    πŸ™ πŸ™ πŸ™ I can’t find the post, but I’m almost positive you told me the view from mount-do-over was much, much better than this. πŸ™ πŸ™ I’m glad you’re at least getting a nicely painted house out of whatever it is, but hope that it’s getting better. It’s funny – I randomly clicked over here right now just to see how you were doing and it happened to be that you posted today!

  8. Avatar

    Painting walls. You have much fortitude–I commend you. Maybe you should paint with the other hand too, just in the name of scientific experimentation? Big hugs to you, Andy!

  9. Avatar

    If you take the painting show on the road, text me, I will send directions. (Pay no attention to Amanda’s offer, just sayin’) I will even let you paint my rooms with the other hand and take my chances with the cutting in.

    Seriously, do what you have to do to get through what you have to get through. Just because you have a blog doesn’t mean you have to share your entire life with all of its details with your adoring fans. I hope things get better for you and your family soon.

  10. Avatar

    Your answer to family implosions is much healthier than mine. I eat everything is sight and curl into a ball to avoid even a hint of exercise.
    You and your family are in my prayers. God is watching over you.

  11. Avatar

    I admire your dignity. I admire your determination to work for things that are important. I admire your ability to redirect your angst into making your walls beautiful. Here’s hoping this phases passes quickly. {hugs} from me, too!

  12. Avatar

    Andy, as you know I am in Crisis mode, too, only because of my daughter having dropped off the face of the earth right after she broke my heart. Adding and subtracting people from your life is always agonizing. You cannot change what people around you do, but you can change how you react to it. That’s my new mantra, anyway!! hang in there my friend.

  13. Avatar

    I hate that you’re having to go through all this. I’m glad you are finding something constructive to do, instead of throttling a crazy man. Sending you lots of warm ooey-gooey mac n cheese goodness. Praying for peace and sanity for you and your family. xoxo

  14. Avatar

    Manual labor is a good way to get peace of mind. I check your blog almost daily & though we are strangers I find myself thinking about you and hoping things are getting better. Many years ago my husband & I both were a little crazy, but after hard work & some individual self assessment we found a way to make it work and we are much better together because of it. I hope this is the case for you & your family. Hugs from Texas.

  15. Avatar

    Primate’s actually got it going on. You’ve seen those ones with the bright orange butts right? SEX-Y.

    I have totally missed your post titles. Yes, your posts are equally as entertaining but some times I just come to your blog and re-read the post titles. Cause they are pure brilliance.

    Thinking about you and sending a few prayers up for you!

  16. Avatar

    Andy, I have no doubt that you can put up a hell of a fight. And good for you. But remember, winning doesn’t always look like we think it’s going to. Eventually you will see a way forward and it will be what it is.

    I have faith in you to always find something funny, to know deep down that you are an amazing, valuable human being, and to love those girls of yours with all the fierceness in your heart. Everything else is gravy.

  17. Avatar

    Sometimes renovating is worth a spouse or two. I sit in my home ALL DAY, it makes the trade seem in my favor.

    (ps I’m raising a glass to one of my favorite bloggers finding her funny again, as well as her inner artist)

  18. Avatar

    Hugs for you dear! I would also fight tooth and nail for my family! I know you are a very strong and funny woman!;) You can win all your battle, as long as you entrust it all to God! Love your beautiful post! And p.s. I can’t wait to see your newly painted wall! πŸ™‚

  19. Avatar

    ((( HUGS ))) I’m so glad to see a post from you. Things will get better. You will come out a stronger, better, happier person as a result of this. And as a bonus you’ll have a colorful home.

  20. Avatar

    So how did I miss this post? I was thinking bout you tonight and thought I’d better check! Glad I did! Hey I know how cathartic painting/renovating can be…doing some of that myself! Miss you and want to chat VERY soon! We’re due another call kiddo πŸ™‚

  21. Avatar

    Love you!
    Wish I could say I was nearly as productive under similar circumstances.
    Instead I consume vast quantities of chardonnay, hold online therapeutic bitch/wine sessions, shop online, take road trips and lay in bed, paralyzed by indecision and procrastination.

    lunch soon?

  22. Avatar

    Thinking of you, Andy, and hoping that….

    Well, I’m not exactly sure. I’m hoping that you are finding peace and coming closer to a light at the end of what sounds like a dark tunnel.


  23. Avatar

    Just dropping in to send a hug and let you know you’re still in our thoughts and prayers. Hoping your heart finds some rest from time to time during the turmoil.

  24. Avatar

    I know that you can make it through life. Why am I sure? Because whatever you’re going through you still have a purpose, your family. Continue to be with the people that matters to you. They give you strength. I know because I’ve been there. You’re not alone, so hang on there!

  25. Avatar

    Painting can be very good therapy. The bigger my problems, the smaller my roller. Something very zen about fresh paint, about changing/fixing what you can change/fix.
    Fighting to save your family is always a fight worth taking on. God speed on your journey.

    ps (I’m a pea πŸ™‚

  26. Avatar

    Forget redesigning your house, reinvent yourself. Have fun with it, go to the salon, get a new style, something that makes you feel sexy. Color, makeup, new clothes. Not for him, for you. Think of yourself first for a change. Oh and heels, high FM heels. Maybe with straight jeans and a sexy top. I saw some shoes like that at Kohls on sale this weekend 70.00 marked down to 9.99. Then go out with some friends and enjoy yourself. Not just one night either. Just get out of the house! Oh and have your husband watch the younger daughter while you are out there. Sometimes you have to get yourself out of the very comfortable rut we all find ourselves in. Couldn’t hurt.

  27. Avatar

    I’m still sending you positive thoughts and keeping your entire family in my prayers. Not just one night either. At least you have a useful outlet for that energy! So glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *