Some goings on

Some going ons?

Which is it?

I could probably avoid the whole issue by changing this post title to “Some happenings” but then I wouldn’t have had anything to write about these past three sentences.

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I don’t like playing video games. No Xbox, PlayStation, Nintendo, blah blah blah and the last time I even attempted the Wii, some short, squat, rotund thing that looked suspiciously like me appeared on my screen and informed me that I had exceeded a healthy BMI by approximately HOLY SHIT, DID YOU EAT A WHALE FOR BREAKFAST points. I’ve never gotten into the gaming part of Facebook either. In fact, I block all those kinds of updates from my wall so I can concentrate on the really important stuff in my feed, like that post from that person I haven’t talked to in over twenty years, advising me that she’s checking in from Starbucks. THANK GOD,  I WAS WORRIED.

But then I got an iPhone.

And then I got Angry Birds.

And then this happened:

Mom, when are we leaving for karate?

After you tell me why I can’t get this chicken to fly high enough to poop an egg between these trees. And why does the egg explode but not the chicken? And why are those … what are those things? Frogs? Pigs? Seasick gerbils? Why are they allowed to wear helmets? And what’s up with the red birds having no super powers? How am I supposed to detonate the TNT and kill the pig under the boulders on the glass train in the basement without super powers? And why can’t I get that stupid mountain to move? IT WON’T MOVE no matter how many birds I fling at it. How come I can’t just have a hundred of those exploding black globs? And why are some of the pigs winking at me? Do they know something I don’t? And I think that one ate my bird. Are the pigs supposed to eat the birds? What the hell? And why do I only have two stars on level six? I just blew up forty pigs in glass houses with one chicken and I only have two stars? Does it have something to do with how far I pull the slingshot? OH MY GOD, ARE MY CHICKENS DEFECTIVE?

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Do me a favor and go check out my new sponsor: Bullgrit! He’s over there in my sidebar. I “met” Bullgrit online a couple of years ago. In fact, he was the one who gave me the idea for my Sunday regurgitation posts. I guess you could say Bullgrit made me throw up! But don’t say it to his face because he’s a good ol’ southern boy and he might strap you to the hood of his 4×4 truck and pelt you with beer cans if you do. Then again, he might own a minivan and drink White Zinfandel out of a champagne flute. I really have no idea. But who cares? Bullgrit runs a t-shirt design business and I think some of them would be great for Father’s Day.

I like that first one.

How many of you have a husband who refuses to read directions because he thinks it will cause him to spontaneously grow a vagina on his forehead?

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Helena, Zoe and Zoe’s friend Nicole, on our way to Ithaca College for a tour, somewhere between ARE WE THERE YET? and ARE WE EVER GOING TO BE THERE YET?

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This made me happy.

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