Sunday regurgitation for May 3, 2009: These milestones are getting to me

For those of you wondering why Sunday is throwing up, fear not. Sunday Regurgitation occurs every Sunday, when I link to a prior post of mine, because I am trapped under something heavy and am unable to write anything original or riveting. Hopefully someone will notice I’m missing, remove whatever is suffocating me and I’ll be back to normal by tomorrow. But just in case … think of me fondly.


Zoe turned fifteen recently. Because she’s at that age known as I AM IMPOSSIBLE TO BUY FOR AND PROUD OF IT, I had a mental list of possible gift ideas ready and waiting, in case anyone needed suggestions. Among other things, she wound up getting some Bare Essentials makeup, a spa treatment, iTunes gift cards, jewelry and a seventeen year old boyfriend.

Guess which one wasn’t on the list?

Yesterday, she told me he had invited her over to his house and she asked if she could go.

And I said OVER MY DEAD BODY which came out like brzzzzzzzzzzzzzpts twrrg oooomptsssssss and then I blacked out.


I miss my baby. When she told me that “A” had asked her out, I just wanted to shove her right back into my uterus and waddle around my house, feeling my belly and wondering whether she was going to have hair or not.

I wound up letting her go over his house.

I’ll go into all the gory details another time. For now, I’ll leave you with the post I did last year which foreshadowed this entire scenario: Another milestone

I never thought I’d miss gaining fifty pounds so that my uterus could sustain life and play trampoline on my bladder.

But I do.



Share this post

11 thoughts on “Sunday regurgitation for May 3, 2009: These milestones are getting to me”

  1. Avatar

    My 15yo just got dumped by her 17yo boyfriend. By SMS. For the second time. I think she’s just learned a valuable life lesson. Maybe.

  2. Avatar

    So glad I’m beyond all that now. Not to scare you or anything, but the drivers licence thing is even worse. No actually driving with them when they are learning is the worst…trust me.

  3. Avatar

    My daughter is too young, but my son is 12 and has had a little girl who is 14 calling him the last few days! Ugh I dread all this!

  4. Avatar

    My daughter is 14, I’m so dreading the first boyfriend news. The meeting, the awkwardness, the phone calls. Can’t I just lock her in a tower till she’s 25? I’ll let her take online classes…At least I won’t have to force her back in my uterus. I loved the way you handled the bonfire too. So far I haven’t been faced with the night-time-co-ed-party dilemma, but it’s good to have a hint on how to proceed…

  5. Avatar

    Much as I adore your blog, you frighten the life of me when you post about your teenage daughter – arrrrgghhh! – My eldest has just turned 11, and I am dreading this next stage.

  6. Avatar

    you are freaking funny girl! besides the fact that i think you can be a proud mommy letting the little girl go (mine is ‘just’ 5,5 years old…. but time is ticking…)

  7. Avatar

    Ick. 17 year old boys are the devil. As a matter of fact, it steadily heads downhill from there. In case you forgot… things haven’t changed. 😛

    Be afraid. And tell Zoe that she’s too good for him. Chances are she TOTALLY is so you don’t even have to know him to make this statement.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *