There should be a helmet law for motherhood


I have never raised a teenager before, so I’m just flying by the seat of my pants.

Basically, I have no idea what I’m doing.

I hope I don’t screw up too much.

I hope she doesn’t either.

If we’re still speaking to each other by the time she takes her first legal drink, I’ll count it as a huge success.

For that matter, if we’re still speaking to each other by the time she takes her first illegal drink, I’ll count that as a huge success.

And I hope when all is said and done, she’ll look back and not hate me too much and invite me out for lunch every once in awhile. Maybe even push my wheelchair and hook up my oxygen.

And with any luck, she’ll wait until there’s something more serious than a hangnail before she pulls the plug on me when I’m 110.

I can say with absolute certainty that fifteen years ago this week, my days weren’t nearly as exciting or emotional or roller coaster-ish as they are now.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

She is one of the best things I ever did with my life.

Happy fifteenth birthday a few days early, Zoe.



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30 thoughts on “There should be a helmet law for motherhood”

  1. Avatar

    Happy birthday to your Zoe!

    If it all doesn’t pan out with this one, you always have what we in our house call Plan B. The younger sibling LOL. The first kid always has a steep learning curve.

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    Happy 15th! And Zoe, your mother should probably be in a home NOW. Do yourself a favor and don’t wait!

    Oh, hi Andrea! Didn’t see you there. Wow, this is awkward.

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    happy birthday! I am about to go through this also except a boy and he will be 13 and I am sure not looking forward to eat. I think the teenage boy eating stage has already begun!!

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    awwww happy birthday to her. (and congrats to making it through another year to you) my little one just turned 6 and its killin meeee she is my only one although she almost didnt make it to 6 this past friday. I posted photos of her little stunts on my bloggy)

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    Hey happy, HAPPY Birthday Zoe!! WOOT!! 15…sigh I remember them daze! LOL

    You’ve got a great mom there zoe even if she IS a little OCD 🙂 Just roll your eyes and go with her flow and you’ll fly through..

    Andy! You’ve got a beautiful, smart and talented daughter here! Let her test those wings a little, oh and I know…you’ll be saying the same to ME when mine go to teen age hell! LOL! I’ve still got a few years before one turns though!

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    aren’t teenagers fun?!?! i am reading a book right now called “Get Out of My Life! but first could you take me and Cheryl to the mall?” the title pretty much sums it up. but i am with you. your zoe is a gift. enjoy her!


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    I remember life at 15, and I shudder to think what I put my mom through. You deserve a medal for going through this stage!

    Happy B.Day to your Zoe!

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    Awww, Happy Birthday Zoe!

    This post totally cracked me up. My daughter has not yet reached ONE and yet I’m racked with fear about her teen years. If they’re anything like mine I shall hang myself. You can do it! Survive, not hang yourself.

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    Happy Birthday, kiddo! She looks just like you Andy. It’s eerie. I have a 17 year old who acts like a 15 year old, so BTDT – it gets better. / What were you doing and where were you 15 years ago when Zoe was born? Tell us the story!

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    Happy Birthday Zoe! Sweet post. And remember if you can’t count on the oldest child, start buttering up the youngest now! Just think mom, she’ll be driving before you know it! Congratulations, on being the parent of a teenage daughter!

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    At first, I thought that was a pic of YOU!!! She looks so much like you (basing it on your profile pic!)

    This was a sweet and humorous post!!!! I’m sure I’ll be looking to you for guidance when my daughter hits 15…she’s only 4 now and I already know the teenage years are gonna take their toll on me!

    Early happy 17th b-day, Zoe!

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    Wow! Not only did I not know that our daughters were the same age but that they share the same birthday week! My daughter turned 15 on Saturday. It is a rocky road we’re on!!! The split between the urge to strangle her and the urge to hold her as tight as possible is always changing but I’m enjoying the ride, most days!

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    Happy Birthday to Zoe and to you 🙂 I’ve raised 4 teens, who now are going to be, 26, 24, 22, 22-twins. I must confess, as a Mom, it’s harder now for me than when they were infants, toddlers, the in-betweens, and teens. It’s the whole empty nest thing, although only one so far has moved out… LOL

    You’ll do great! And do fly by the seat of your pants, because all the planning in the world, doesn’t matter… LOL

    Take Care…

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    What a wonderful birthday post for your daughter! Happy Birthday, Zoe!

    Yes, raising a teenager is quite a wild ride. I think the only thing wilder is raising that teenager while raising 3 & 4 yr olds at the same time!

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    Good work Junkie Junk. Very impressed. If I’m honest, I’m terrified of mucking up when raising kids … not that I have any … but if I do … you get my point.

    Fair play to you. Happy b’day to Zoe too!

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