These probably weren’t the days the 10,000 Maniacs were singing about

There are days when I feel like I cannot do one single thing right in my life.

Days when I feel inept, unlucky, unhealthy, uncoordinated, unappreciated and un-everything. With un-awesome hair.

Days when my period wakes me up in the morning with an enthusiastic YAY! CLEAN SHEETS! and I realize, much too late, that I forgot to buy tampons earlier that week, the day I ventured out into the frigid tundra specifically for tampons and came home with $178.93 worth of other stuff instead.

Days when I can no longer get to the store to buy the damn tampons because right below “#11: tampons” on my list entitled Things You Will Forget to Buy Because You Have the Attention Span of a Spastic Chipmunk was “#12: gas.”

Days when I can’t figure out which kid is mad at me because they sound exactly the same when they shout I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DIDN’T WASH MY FAVORITE JEANS JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN’T FIND THEM SHOVED UNDER MY BED from the upstairs bathroom.

Days when I argue with my husband and then suddenly realize afterward that the silent treatment I’m engaged in is a colossal waste of time when he later exclaims “What? You’re mad at me? Since when?”

Days when my house is messy, I’m messy, life is messy and I feel destined to always suck on the fuzzy end of the lollipop.



Then I see a picture like this and I’m reminded of the bigger picture.

That at least twice in my life, I did everything exactly right.

That I’m too hypercritical of myself and I’m too paranoid.

That I’m not jinxed and it’s entirely possible that Kilauea would still have erupted in 1983 even if I hadn’t visited Hawaii one year prior and stood in that very spot.

That I should sweat onions and not the small stuff.

That I’m 99.99% certain, despite my doubts and fears, that I’ve managed to raise two pretty great kids who will most likely grow up to become happy, productive members of society and maybe even find a cure for cancer or, God willing, Conon O’Brien’s hair.



It’s that damn .01% that worries me.



Share this post

25 thoughts on “These probably weren’t the days the 10,000 Maniacs were singing about”

  1. Avatar

    Not many single posts can have me laughing and crying at the same time, especially since I don’t know you! You are hilarious! And yet, so poignant. What beautiful daughters!
    Stopping in from SITS.

  2. Avatar

    That sounds so much like my days it’s almost creepy. Glad to know I’m not the only one that has ‘those kind of days’. Hope today is a better one.

  3. Avatar

    Yes, the joys of that .01 percent….

    It’s so funny how much your girls look like you. I could be walking through the mall with Kaydn Rye and everybody would be like, “So who’s the kid?” He looks nothing like me.

    And I am completely shocked about your new addition, who knew?

  4. Avatar

    That’s nothing. I am going thru menopause [or mental-pause as I always think of it] and I haven’t had a period in many, many months. I am walking around the grocery store, shopping alone [which is so rare] and my red-headed friend fell off the roof. Except I didn’t find that out until I was in a sandwich shop across the street and had ordered sandwiches and dashed to the bathroom, and then it looked like a scene out of Carrie, and yet, I had to wait for the d*&% sandwiches! For 10 minutes of agony. I don’t even carry tampons any more.

    My kids’ Christmas photos are ALL like photo #2 above.

  5. Avatar

    Dee – that’s one I hadn’t heard, “Red-headed friend fell off the roof”! ROFL. I’m in the same position, hate to buy stuff I may never use again! I’ll remember not to go stand in line for sandwiches though… 😉
    Thanks for the reminder Andy what is really important. Keeping gas in the car. Oh, and the kids. You have beautiful girls, good work, mama!

  6. Pingback: Tweets that mention These probably weren't the days the 10,000 Maniacs were singing about | --

  7. Avatar

    Just so you know…

    You have a gift: gathering others into your life, and bringing joy. (And I’m not talking about your kids.) Even on the un-days, it shines brightly for others to see. Thanks for sharing with us all. I can’t help smiling every time I read your posts!

  8. Avatar

    Yup, I totally agree with you! There are days where I feel like I could drive my car into a cement wall and be perfectly happy laying in the hospital in an all-body cast, being fed by a tube than deal with the fighting and whining caused by my kids!

    But then all they have to do is smile and suddenly things aren’t so bad.

    Hang in there! It’s a great thing both you and I have a good sense of humor to keep us laughing!

  9. Avatar

    They sure would make some grandma very happy,to have such beautiful grandkids!!!! I may not like being my age but it sure is great having lived through menopause!

  10. Avatar

    ya know what? i REALLY needed to read this today. REALLY, REALLY needed to read this!!
    i’ve felt like a big glob of shit on a shingle all week. can’t do anything right. people screaming at me, actually SCREAMING at me. sigh….. i’m starving their kids ya know. anyway you have reminded me why i’m putting up with the worst of the worst day after freaking day and why i have to go work all day on Sat. and give up my day off… it’s the bigger picture. THAT’S what is really important!! #1 well for me #3 😉 sigh.. luv you andy..and this weekend i WILL mail your christmas present! :p

  11. Avatar

    Your girls are just beautiful – and when I stagger out for tampons I normally get home to find that I had loads already but just had forgotten I had them!!!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *