Who’s up for a couple of quickies?

Of the “true or false” variety, I mean. Goodness, is it just me, or is this gutter getting rather crowded lately?


Was that your elbow?

Now then … who’s game?


Take a gander at this photo and then answer the questions below:

Question #1:

TRUE or FALSE: We own all the TVs in our neighborhood.
ANSWER: False. No, I’m not messing with you. We only own three of them. Three and a half, if you count the small, ancient one in the basement that goes into anaphylactic shock whenever the treadmill is turned on.


Question #2:

TRUE or FALSE: A universal remote is the stuff of urban legends.

ANSWER: I’m thinking a big, fat HELL YES, especially if you are married to my husband. I mean, did you look at the photo? But let me verify this with Sasquatch and the Loch Ness Monster and maybe even Walt Disney, provided he’s been thawed out from his cryogenic frozen state, and then I’ll get back to you. In the meantime, go have some Pop Rocks candy. Just don’t swig any Coke with them because your stomach will explode and then where will be we?


Question #3:

TRUE or FALSE: According to my husband Nate, if it can’t be wired so that it can be turned on, turned off, opened, closed, dimmed, cooled, heated, sped up, slowed down, raised or lowered by simply pressing a button when sacked out on our living room sofa while alternating between guzzling Ginger Ale and shouting BOOM whenever someone makes a touchdown or a free throw or a law for health care reform, then it has no business existing in the first place.

ANSWER: I’m thinking I should up my life insurance and sleep with one eye open.


Question #4:

TRUE or FALSE: Sometimes a photo is worth a thousand words and they all sound like “Nope. Nope. Nope, not this one. Not this one either. Maybe this one? Shit on a stick. What is this one for? Why is the garage door going up and down? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I JUST WANT TO CHANGE A CHANNEL. Nope. Nope. Nope. This one? OH MY GOD, I JUST TURNED OFF ALL THE LIGHTS IN NEW JERSEY. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?



Question #5:

TRUE or FALSE: Nate needs a hobby.

ANSWER: Technically false. Nate needs a new hobby. With any luck, it will come gift-wrapped in a twelve step program.


Question #6:

TRUE or FALSE: Sometimes I dress up as a remote and let Nate channel surf.

ANSWER: I need a new hobby too.



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29 thoughts on “Who’s up for a couple of quickies?”

  1. Avatar

    My husband claimed that there *was* such a thing as a universal remote, and ordered it online and unwrapped it with glee when the UPS guy handed him the box. He then spent approximately eleventy zillion hours down in the family room, pointing it at various things and pressing various combinations of buttons while cursing every other second and occasionally running into the office and frantically scrolling through different tech-y websites while muttering “aha, mmm-hmmm, oh, got it” and then returning to the family room for another round of pointing, pushing and cursing.

    The next day, he very proudly handed me the “universal” remote and explained how he’d programmed it to operate everything including his X-Box. The thing is, there are so many different combinations of random buttons (for example, the button marked with a little dot? That’s the DVR list for the cable box, and the button marked “amp” is the stereo, whereas the button marked “CD” is actually the X-Box and so on) that neither of us can recall the various sequences required to operate things.

    Now, I freely admit I cannot remember the various codes and therefore will reach into the basket o’ remotes that still lives on one of the end tables in the family room and use the *actual remote* for any particular device (say, the DVD remote for the DVD player). Hubby gets pissed when he catches me doing this, and is all like “You just have to press the number three four times, then A, then the plus sign, then channel up and *that* starts the DVD player, sheesh, how many times do I have to tell you?” I no longer even bother expending the energy required to roll my eyes as I just pick up the correct remote and press “play” on it.


    Out of curiosity, how many of those remotes is Oliver bigger than now? 😀
    .-= Heather @ nobody-but-yourself’s last blog post is here ..Mostly Wordless Wednesday… signs of Spring =-.

  2. Avatar

    Lol! That is funny stuff! I hated going to babysit for people with ten remotes, I could never figure out how to turn on the TV. Now I’ve become one of those people ;D

  3. Avatar

    I love the Logitech Harmony remotes, which program through the computer instead of codes. You tell the software your devices, they already have it programmed (it downloads from their website). You pick an activity (Watch TV) and it turns on the stereo, TV and cable/satellite box. Pick another activity (Watch DVD) and it turns off the box and turns on the DVD player. You can setup custom buttons and it can learn too. (Like automatically open the DVD player when you switch to watch it if you want).

    I even made it mute and blank Hulu commercials (30 or 15 seconds).

    You would not want to use another remote alongside it though, as it would confuse the Harmony remote, it would believe something is on that isn’t, so when it tried turning it off, it would actually turn it on and stuff like that.

    Somewhat expensive, the color screen one is over $100, but there are others too (as low as $60), I put a link to the refurbished version of the one I have in my name above, which is rechargeable so no more dying batteries.

    It’ll even remote control my Roomba!

  4. Avatar

    I’m impressed! We just have the Direct TV remotes, which also control the DVD players. The end. When at one point we had 7 remotes I sat & sorted them out,programmed what I could into the DirecTV one, tossed the rest & told everyone they need to try this thing called standing up and walking if they wanted anything else to work
    .-= stacey@Havoc&Mayhem’s last blog post is here ..New lamps for old =-.

  5. Avatar

    In theory, universal remotes are a most EXCELLENT idea. But whenever I come in contact with one, I get confused. Either it’s because the eyes are fading or perhaps because I’m not 16 anymore, but Mr. Fairway is MUCH more adept at TV technology than I!

    Afternoon Delight

  6. Avatar

    Logitech Harmony.
    Enough said. For reals. We have one and it is great! Not only does it tell me what is wrong when I hit the help button (as in…what I screwed up)…but it actually controls EVERYTHING. It’s expensive, but it may be well worth it in your case! HA!

  7. Avatar

    snort. totally sounds like my dh. the techno geek. however, he’s great to have around when the pc ain’t running right.

  8. Avatar

    We had friends over and they wanted to check out a channel. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out which remote turned up the volume. Remember the good ol’ days when you had you get up to change the channel. Now we spend 5 minutes looking for the remote when we could have just changed the channel manually
    .-= Tracy’s last blog post is here ..I got needles in my head. =-.

  9. Avatar

    You mean my tv remote isn’t supposed to turn on the DVD player when we push the volume down button, so we have to keep the DVD player volume at zero when we’re not watching it because the movie Cars perpetually lives in there because of an OCD 3yo? We have ti all wrong then.
    .-= Amanda’s last blog post is here ..Progress =-.

  10. Avatar

    You had me at title! Your remotes look nothing like mine. With three kids, the remotes are chewed on (that might be the dog or the baby?)and missing the battery covers. And that’s the ones we can find. Visiting from SITS!

  11. Avatar

    Too friggin’ funny! Now that’s one mighty pile of remotes! A tad (no…make that a LOT) scarey!! This is the first time I’m actually GLAD we can’t afford much in the way of electronics in our home! LOL Alos lovin’ the first comment you received here. Between your post and hers, I’m almost peeing my pants! Thanks!! Needed this today! ((SMOOCH))

  12. Avatar

    I really enjoy the image of him drinking ginger ale and going “BOOM”…
    and ps.. what would happen if like I dunno 4 or 10 of those remotes just ‘disappeared’… would one work really for all of them? I like to velcro/double side tape the remote to the back of the device so its not lost.

  13. Avatar

    OMG that is crazy! I have never seen so many remotes in one place! But of course you turned the mundane into another funny post and made all of us laugh! Bravo!

    Oh and P.S. I hope your husband doesn’t take up archery ;/

  14. Avatar

    hahaha LOVE IT! This reminds me of my house. My husband has about 50 million different remotes and “of course” they all do different things and are for different stuff…whatever, I just know it is so confusing to operate a tv in this house!
    .-= april’s last blog post is here ..LuLu*s Contest =-.

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