Young Faithful

I was in our dungeon the other day, jogging on the treadmill and trying to watch TV through the veil of sweat pouring down my face. As I was plotting various ways to acquire an AK-47 by nightfall so as to murder the treadmill in its sleep out of sheer spite, this commercial popped up on the TV and stopped me dead in my tracks.

My PSA for today: Do not stop dead in your tracks while jogging on a treadmill unless you have the wherewithal to turn it off first. Or you have walls made out of cotton balls.

We have cinder block walls in our dungeon and I haven’t had wherewithal since I hit my forties.

This commercial made me laugh, thereby distracting me from the compound fracture growing on my face due to my utter lack of wherewithal. And cotton.

It’s a thirty second Huggies commercial and just so you know, I’m not a spokesperson for Huggies. No one pays me to do anything, least of all speak. I have, however, gotten several offers to SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY which I’m currently negotiating.

This commercial is yet another reason why I think God knew what he was doing when he put baby girls in my tummy, although I still think he was whacked out of his gourd when he put astigmatism, cellulite and squooshy boobs on other parts of my body:


I’m fairly certain that this little guy did not have a fire hose shoved up his urethra because I know what it’s like to have things like tubes and catheters crammed into my nether regions and believe you me, smiling is the last thing I felt like doing afterwards. So obviously there are some pretty nifty special effects at play here but who cares? Because this is how I’ve always imagined changing a little boy’s diaper would be. This scenario is the primary reason why, when the doctor yelled IT’S A GIRL after plucking each of my kids from my uterus, I heaved a sigh of relief and yelled NO PEE FACIALS! CAN I GET A WOOT WOOT?! AND A COOKIE?

I only had to deal with little baby girl vomit spewed into my mouth, up my nose and down my shirt. Totally do-able in comparison.

And just because I can, here’s a behind the scenes look:

.Special effects or no, all I can say is, it’s a good thing God stuffed babies with tons of cuteness, in addition to pee.



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29 thoughts on “Young Faithful”

  1. Avatar

    Am now wiping Coke off my screen! Cute .. especially the mockumentary behind the scenes bit.

    Oh, and I totally second Heather’s comment about the puppy .. just you wait!!

  2. Avatar

    LOL! In baby boy defense, I will have to say that my son never peed on me…he got his dad once (he he, good boy) and nightly tries to get his sister in the bathtub but he’s always been good to the mama! Now, the spit up you refer to…now that I can relate with!

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    I would be most impressed with any puppy, especially a teensy ball of fluff like a Shih-poo, being able to achieve that sort of height or force, so don’t worry about your ceilings, at least……………….. *evil grin*

    That commercial totally made me LOL, which made me begin coughing, which made my eyes water, which made my nose run. So, now I’m sitting here, a red-faced, streaming-eyes-and-nosed, bedheadded, hacking up a lung disaster. Deeeeelightful!

    That ad reminded me of this one, posted a few weeks ago on my dear friend Givinya deElba’s blog:

    Heh. Number 3s. Sadly, puppies can do that as well.

    Lunch tomorrow, yeah? ๐Ÿ˜€

  4. Avatar

    Yes I have seen this before and laugh every time it comes on. Glad I had girls.
    Well let me rethink that, as I have 3 teenage daughters now.


  5. Avatar

    LOL! I have girls, too….can’t imagine what I would have done with boys. Hope you weren’t too seriously injured flying off that treadmill. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. Avatar

    I have two boys and that never happened with either of them, to me or to my husband. I suppose they were saving up for the other ‘boy issues’ like the non stop wrestling, the poop jokes and the endless sheer physicality of males

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    Yeah this commercial got me too. My how funny we think things are until it happens to us. I was NEVER peed on by my son, but he DID manage to get my hubby while I giggled LOUDY and even rolled on a floor (just a little)… Okay a LOT!

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    Well, I have a daughter (16 now) who, when she was a couple of months old, did somehow spray me while I was changing her. I don’t know if it was the force or what, but she sure did spray up & out a ways…lol. So, don’t count girls out when it comes to geysers…lol!

  9. Avatar

    Our boy was not too much inclined to trying this party trick which is just as well, as men need no discouragement at all to put them off changing the nappies!

    (Now are you going to comment on how cute a nappy sounds?! Cause it does not matter what you call it, when it is filled with “you-know-what”!)

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    This is exactly why God knew I needed to adopt a 10 year old boy, already full potty-trained. I would have been hauled off to an insane asylum if I had to change a diaper like this, even 1/10th like this. I’ve changed a few diapers in my time and that was enough. now I can look forward to getting old and my kids can change MY diaper…

  11. Avatar

    That’s why the smart parent of a baby boy keeps plenty of baby washcloths on hand to cover him with during a change. I have 2 boys, and the potential to be peed on when they were infants far surpassed the potential for hormones and PMS in their teens had they been girls. I’m glad I have boys. Of course none of this diminishes the humor of the commercial because it’s always funny when it happens to someone else.

  12. Avatar

    Hahahah! Oh man! I don’t have regular TV so I laughed really hard and snotted everywhere when I watched this, mainly because I have a cold; most of the time I snort and just air comes out, or is that gas?

    Anyway I have a son, and a less CG version of this happened to me many times. It’s awesome. Not.

    Anyway this WAS awesome. Hope your face it ok.

  13. Avatar

    I fell on my face on a treadmill at the gym once. I was horrified! The people on either side of me kept their eyes politely forward, but that almost seemed worse! lol Painful, I’m sorry you had to deal with that. LOL about not having werewithall since hitting your forties. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I’m no fan of catheter insertion, but I am a fan of catheters in general if one is bedbound. Ahh, bring it back!

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