I’LL BE BACK. I typed that in my best Terminator voice. Arnold Schwarzenegger would be proud, if he wasn’t busy having illegitimate children with the staff.

December 19, 2011

OH MY GOD, GUESS WHAT? I’m still here. I know! I can’t believe it either. I have so much to tell you but my brain is in overdrive and my fingers can’t keep up and they’re all SLOW THE HELL DOWN, STUPID CEREBELLUM, and my brain is all OH YEAH? […]

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It’s like I’m living a really crappy Lifetime movie

October 20, 2011

If you’ve been around here for awhile, you know that my family has been going through something since June. I’ve been posting sporadically since then and only occasionally referencing the total suckage that has become my life, without getting into detail. I thought that maybe I had it in me […]

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If you make a living as a chauffeur for fecal matter, I guess you had better have a sense of humor

September 29, 2011

Yesterday, it took me one hour to drive one mile YES I SAID ONE FREAKING MILE and I don’t even live in LA. I live in western New York where Route 590 is a goddamn, filthy cesspool of traffic jam every morning. Periodically, while at yet another dead stop, I’d […]

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I’m still here. Kind of.

September 12, 2011

It’s been a couple of months now since my life was decimated by an F5 tornado. Figuratively, I mean. Not literally. We typically don’t have tornadoes in my neck of the western New York woods. However, we did have a freak earthquake here the other week! But I didn’t really […]

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Much to my surprise, I did not accidentally asphyxiate my ass

August 18, 2011

A summary of what I’ve been up to this past month. Just in case anyone thought I fell off the face of the planet! Not that I didn’t seriously consider it. Kidding! Kind of. *********************************** I didn’t fall off the face of the planet. I worked on my resume. This […]

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