All I need are some some red sparkly shoes

I’m feeling really old this morning because later today, we’re checking out a college that Zoe is interested in attending. Granted, she’s not graduating high school until next year but seeing as how Father Time is popping Viagra and screwing every speed limit he meets, I’m expecting next year to arrive on Tuesday.

I can’t believe my first born is checking out a college. My Zoe, who only yesterday rolled over for the first time and vomited sweet potato puree down my shirt when I burped her. The same girl who just this morning texted me from the other room, asking if we can go prom dress shopping this weekend.

I hope Father Time catches gonorrhea.

On that note, we’re off to see the wizard! Also known as the Dean of Admissions. I kind of feel like Dorothy! Except there’s no yellow brick road, Toto probably didn’t poop behind her couch and I’m betting the Tin Man didn’t try to grope her as she blogged.

We’re off to see a college

That we probably can’t even afford!

We hear it is a hell of a place

With lots of smart teachers and dorm room space

If ever, oh ever, we needed some luck

It would be now as our savings does suck

Because because because because  becaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuse

Because the economy is a BIG FAT FUCK.

We’re off to see a college

That we probably can’t even afford!



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21 thoughts on “All I need are some some red sparkly shoes”

  1. Avatar

    Oh man, that was a fun little ditty at the end! Good luck with your visit at the Dean’s office! Hope all goes well and will keep fingers crossed for scholarships!!

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    Funny, I find myself singing ‘if I only had a brain’ more often these days…
    Good luck with the college search, and let me know if you find that elusive institution: affordable, quality, attractive college education!

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    I think everyone should have a pair of sparkly red shoes!

    Lots of luck to Zoe. When I was a junior in high school, I found a book at the bookstore that had dozens of scholarships listed (from all-inclusive types down to a few hundred dollars – excellent for buying textbooks) with instructions on how to apply for them. It was in the test prep section. For lots of them, you didn’t need to do anything more than send in your information/transcript. A few asked for short essays. I recommend looking for it to anyone I know that’s starting the whole applying-to-college phase.

    Have fun!!

    1. Avatar
      Creative Junkie

      You wouldn’t happen to remember the name of this book, would you? I’ve been Googling my brains out and have a few sites bookmarked but I’d love an all-inclusive resource!

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            Well, that stinks! I just went to Amazon and searched “College Scholarships” in books. and several selections came up. I tried to send the link to the results page.

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        I think it was “The Scholarship Book” (super-creative title, right?) – that’s the one that looks like the one I had. If you look here:

        you can see what the pages inside are like. I remember pretty much starting at the beginning and working my way through applying to everything I qualified for.

        After adding up state and private scholarships, plus the prepaid program that my grandparents did when I was a kid, I had college paid for 3x over… plenty for books, fees, extra-curriculars, and a fancy new computer. My folks didn’t pay a cent for my four-year degree.

        Lots of luck! 🙂

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    i don’t even want to think about those days. we can’t afford to pay attention and with the oldest being 1 year apart….community college it will be

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    Are you going to totally hate me if I tell you that if it’s a college she really wants to go to you should’ve started this process last year? Oh well. The first kid is always the learning curve, right? If you need any help, let me know. My husband dealt with admissions a lot in his last job and knows a few things.

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    Good luck and remember “there’s no place like home”! Hope you have magical red, ruby shoes? And why, oh why is it a yellow brick road? Yellow.. Hmmmm… sounds suspicious. Guess the song wouldn’t sound so great as “Follow the red brick road, follow the red brick road.”
    And I think Father Time is really a Mother.. and I suspect Mother Time is a biotch!!!

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    Gotta love the texts from the bedroom! Beds are either way harder to get out of or bedrooms are waay further from the rest of the house than they were when I was young!

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    This is just about the stage that every parents dread, not only are we worried about how are we gonna pay for college, but this is also the time that we see our kids starting to let go of us and becoming more a person of their own.

    Anyway Congrats to Zoe and goodluck! 🙂

  9. Avatar

    Your husband gropes you while you’re blogging, too? LOL I thought my hubby was a big perv. 😛

    Thankfully, I have about 10 years or so before I have to even contemplate college for my young’un. But at the rate she’s going, she could end up skipping grades. I’m hoping we will be able to pay for a good college for her. My dream is Harvard, Yale or Princeton, but that’s only because I want her to have a great paying career so that she can take care of me and her daddy in the manner to which we WANT to become accustomed. 😀

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