Another multiple choice quickie! The “I Am Not A Whore” edition. Or, the “Do Not Blog With Allergies” edition.

Ready? Set! Here we go:

The above photo is evidence of which of the following:

(1) That I am a hair product whore.

To clarify … I’m a professional hair product whore. Better yet, I’m a professional hair salon product whore.

What I mean to say is … I’m a whore for professional hair salon products, not a professional whore.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

Just so we’re clear … I’m not dissing professional whores. Or amateur ones either! We all have to start somewhere, right?

And by we, I mean “we as a people” not “we” as in you and me because I’m not a professional whore and you probably aren’t either.

Unless you are? In which case, go you! Must be nice to have people spend money on you!

So to clarify:  (a) I am not a professional whore; (b) I am a professional hair salon product whore; (c) I’m not dissing whores; (d) I’m not calling you a whore unless you want me to because you really are one in which case, you go whore! Way to represent! And finally, (e) I think it’s nice that people spend money on whores.

(2)  That when it comes to hair product, I obviously cannot make up my mind. Actually, when it comes to anything, really, although you can’t really tell that from this photo. Can you? Regardless, I am indecisive. Or wishy-washy. Unsure? Ambivalent? No, it’s indecisive. Definitely indecisive. Wait! Maybe vacillating?

(3) That I am gullible, susceptible, or otherwise easily influenced, persuaded, convinced or whatever synonym describes a beauty advertiser’s wet dream. In a nutshell, it if were made to smell like lemon drops and packaged in something shiny and neatly stacked on the shelves of ULTA or Sephora, I would buy my own poo, even if I didn’t have a coupon and it wasn’t on sale.

(4) Is anyone still reading this?

(5) If you made it this far, I’m sorry I called you a whore. Even though I don’t think I did, really? But I apologize, nevertheless. Because I’m nice like that. You know what else would be nice? If we lived in a world where we could call each other whore and not be insulted. I mean, whores are people too and they need awesome looking hair, just like the rest of us. In fact, they probably need it more than us, when you think about it. Who wants a whore with crappy hair? And, of course, it goes without saying that by “us,” I mean those of us who are not whores. Why do people say “it goes without saying” and then proceed to say whatever is supposed to go without saying?

(6) That I should not blog after taking an antihistamine.

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16 thoughts on “Another multiple choice quickie! The “I Am Not A Whore” edition. Or, the “Do Not Blog With Allergies” edition.”

  1. LOL! That’s a lot of product! I’m so not a woman at times. I only have a handful pairs of shoes. About 3 hair product items at anyone time. I’m not a huge purse fan like most women. I hate shopping! I have specific purpose, achieve that purpose and leave. Browsing through a clothing store is not something I do.

    And then there’s the whole thing about not caring about cuddling afterward. I’m tired now, let me sleep!

  2. LOL on #6! The other night I was all feeling weird and bouncy and couldn’t figure out what the heck? Then I remembered later that I had taken a cold & sinus pill. Yeah there’s a reason you have to sign for that stuff at the counter!!

  3. Confession – apart from shampoo and conditioner I DON’T USE hair product – however you are obviously more than compensating for may lack of product, so I don’t think the hair product industry needs be too concerned.

    So which one is you fave of all of those?

  4. OK…so you are a professional salon product whore…I can live with that. I accept you for your whoredom and even admire it a little because (like Joy) I am not a woman…well, I AM but I’m not a girly-girl woman. I own a can of cheap hairspray. And a can of cheap mousse with a broken nozzle. Other than that….we’re pretty much on the same page. Gullible? Check. Indecisive? Double check. Unwilling to offend whores? Check (I mean, finances might get bad enough soon in my household that I’ll need some good pointers, and who would want to give me advice after I’ve offended them???)

    (Joy–I hate shopping too…UG! If I don’t know EXACTLY where it is so I can run in, grab it and run out, forget it! Unless we’re talking books…then I can shop for hors. Cuddling after sex? Please…let me go pee and then get out of my sleeping space!)

  5. I select (8). You are *obviously* about to open your own salon. That’s really what all this bathroom remodeling is for… you’ll be ready for business soon.

    I just wouldn’t recommend calling the place Hairstyles for Hesitating Hos because it may turn a few people off. Just saying.

    Do you actually know how to use all that stuff? I am in awe. I can buy exactly what they tell me to buy, and use it in (almost, mostly, sort of) exactly the same way, and somehow my hair (which when left alone looks eh, OK-ish) ends up looking truly frightening.

  6. Wow. =)

    I use only Pert–too lazy to deal with shampoo & conditioner. No handbag. No shoes except a pair of sneakers every couple of years. PLENTY of hormones, however. *lol*

  7. I was totally laughing out loud the whole time. I don’t ever do anything to my hair, so the only thing I collect is whatever shampoo/conditioner is on sale (ie couponing)

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