It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these, but I’m quickly learning that the older I get, the more forgetful I get.
Who are you, again?
Basically, if I don’t write it down, chances are it’s not going to be bought, cleaned, dropped off, picked up, returned, fed or sent to college.
Besides, writing stuff down like this kind of makes me feel accountable to myself. So, in the event I blow off anything on this list, I hereby give myself permission to take me to task and publicly humiliate me.
However, I’m totally open to looking the other way in exchange for a donut.
Just in case I’m listening.
Who am I again?
My To Do list:
- I need to paint the interiors of my closets. I’m sick and tired of facing the twenty year old depressing, dingy, flat, ugly builder’s paint every time I hang up a coat or put away my groceries or store my towels. I need to paint my closets a nice, bright, cheery white that actually makes me want to open their doors and feed them. And bonus! Doing so will satisfy my quota I like to refer to as COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS ISSUES WHICH ARE NOT REALLY PROBLEMS BUT WHICH REQUIRE IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NONETHELESS for the remainder of the year and thus, make Nate very happy. It’s a win win!
- I need to find pretty pails or buckets and fill them with bathroom cleaning supplies and then put one in each of our 2.5 bathrooms. I’m betting that if I eliminate half the work involved in cleaning a bathroom (i.e., running up and down the stairs to the laundry room to fetch and return the toilet bowl cleaner) and keep the supplies replenished and handy, there’s a greater chance that the bathrooms might actually be cleaned more often. Or, I could simply get rid of the three other humans who share this house, and thereby have perfectly clean bathrooms all the time. Decisions are hard.
- I need to buy Pat Conroy’s latest book, South of Broad, because I’ve read all of his books and he’s my favorite author and it’s the first book he’s written in almost fifteen years and what the hell, Mr. Conroy? You couldn’t have given me a head’s up? Am I your stalker or not? You need to pay me more attention. I take my stalking very seriously … just ask Anderson Cooper. You guys can compare restraining orders. Not being the first to know something about your books is a serious hit to my rep, Mr. Conroy. Can I call you Pat? I thought one of the perks of stalking you was getting an advanced copy? Am I just wasting my time with you? Because there ‘s a whole slew of celebrities just dying to get on my stalker list, you know. Gerard Butler is probably waiting by the phone as I type. I don’t appreciate having to find out about South of Broad by accidentally crashing my shopping cart into an eight foot high display of it at Wegmans, causing a literary avalanche of epic proportions. I’m not sure what I’m more embarrassed by … the fact that I had to quickly push my cart into the frozen food section before anyone saw me or the fact that I screamed DONALD PATRICK CONROY, YOU ARE IN A WORLD OF TROUBLE, MR. MAN. YOU ARE <> THIS CLOSE TO LOSING A STALKER AND GOING TO TIME OUT before doing so.
- I need to put our Christmas wreath away. It’s been sitting on a shelf beside the front door since last January. Then again, if I choose to ignore it as I have for the past nine months, I won’t have to drag my ass into the basement and hunt for it the day after Thanksgiving. I’m mulling it over. Mulling, mulling …
- I need to boot up Excel and create a working outline for my mid-life crisis which I’ve tentatively scheduled for next spring, provided the plastic surgeon is back from vacation, the machine shop has fabricated my stripper pole and the tattoo artist has created my custom ink by then.
- I need to lose eight pounds by 6:30 tonight. I’m considering amputating my legs and wheeling myself in on Helena’s scooter.
- I need to finish my blog redesign. Or I need to pay someone to do it for me. Which brings me to my final item:
- I need to win the lottery.
What’s on your to-do list?