Forget Santa Claus. Why can’t the stork be real?

Currently, there are eight cousins in our family.


Four girls.

Four boys.


I invented two of them.


The girls came first.

In fact, it was pretty much an estrofest for the first seven years.


Until my two sisters-in-law starting thinking about bras and tampons and weddings and bankruptcy. Then they started popping out testosterone all over the place a little over three years ago.



Although, I have to admit that testosterone is totally cute.


It is impossible to get all eight cousins to remain still.

And smile.

Without appearing as if they have gas.

Really, really, really bad gas, in the case of one.


So currently, it’s a tie in the gender race over here.

And it’s up to one of my two sisters-in-law to break it.

Because that train left this station a long time ago. With booster rockets.

Choo choo!

*insert deafening jet engine roar*


But I admit …


There are times when I really wish I had bought a return ticket.



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41 thoughts on “Forget Santa Claus. Why can’t the stork be real?”

  1. Avatar


    Blowout diapers.

    Waking up every two hours around the clock for meals.

    Car seats.

    Diaper bags.

    High chairs.

    Babyproofing everything.

    Having a preschooler while going through menopause.

    Did I mention blowout diapers?

    (The above are the reasons I use when I start feeling the urge to run down to the station and buy a return ticket.)

  2. Avatar

    We had boys and then the girls in our family & sometimes I wish I could have joined in with the girl thing. But I think DH is only good for Y chromosomes. I doubt he has a spare X to offer me

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    What fun pics! And I’m sure there are plenty of people who would lend you a kid on those days where you’re sitting around wondering ‘what if I’d…’

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    Great pics but your comments are hilarious.

    We’re contemplating having a 2nd and wow has our attitude changed since Maddy hit the terrible twos. Much harder decision to make now.

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    How come all of a sudden your girls look so grown up??? I suppose they tend to look older when they’re around younger kids. Just like when I see my kids with younger children, it makes me sad to see how much they’ve truly grown.

    Until one of them wakes up in the middle of the night screaming for whatever reason….than I’m glad I’m never going back to that babyhood stage ever again!

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    Wow! You did it! Pictures of all 8 of them. It still is amazing to me that we have 8 grandchildren.
    So totally wonderful and funny. I love the expressions on the boy’s faces,
    Thanks and good job.

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    They’re a cute bunch. I’ve come to the conclusion that babies are great to snuggle and hold, then give back to their rightful parents. I’ll wait to see if I get any grandkids so I can exact me revenge on my own kids. “Oh you want Mt Dew and chocolate? OK! Your dad will be here in 30 minutes.” Bwahahaha. Can’t wait.

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    Aww, but you only think about that return ticket while their moms are with them right?! Cuz I know when I’m left alone for a few hours with those cute little droolers that need their undergarments changed, and can’t feed themselves..well I’m glad my return ticket expired about 12 years ago!! (But yes they sure are cute and snuggly when they belong to someone else and you can give them back!)

  9. Avatar

    I love this. We have ALL girls. I have one cousin (a girl) my two daughters and her one daughter… and we are both not able to have any more, LOL SO much for trying to carry on the name! haahaha

  10. Avatar

    Family photos are great fun – especially w/ kids. If you really have to, you can just photoshop the pic to add the best ‘face’ of each kid in one photo 🙂

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    They’re all pretty cute, but you’re right, that testosterone is pretty cute!! Oh. Is it “cool” to say Zoe is cute? Because if not?? Um. She rocks. Yeah. That’s it.

  12. Avatar

    Those pics are to cute – my family is similar – if you want a pic you better hope they will sit still… but it probably won’t happen lol

  13. Avatar

    That is too funny. There are 11 cousins between what me and my sisters have “created” only two are girls and the other 9 are all boys. We are a testosterone family for sure. Those pictures are all adorable and all of the created children are super cute!

  14. Avatar

    I think it’s tough to take a picture of 2 kids, so I understand getting 8 to stand still would be tough! Cute pictures though, it looks like everyone has a blast together.

  15. Avatar

    What cute pictures! It’s funny how the genders seem to come in bunches. We have all boys in my family. We’re finally starting to get a few girls in the extended family but at my house it’s still all testosterone.

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    LOL gas & testosterone!

    You are too funny. Sometimes I wish I could have another child and give Ro a baby brother. But then I get scared that she will scare the ever loving shit out of him and I will be left with even more psychotherapy bills I can’t pay… 😛

  17. Avatar

    What adorable specimens they all are! I sometimes think of having more kids, but considering that each pregnancy has been harder than the last and each almost kills me…well after Spike…I think I am done.

  18. Avatar

    What a great post. First of all it was hysterical! You are such a funny writer. I love it!

    I also enjoyed the picture. What cute kids! You make cute babies (as does the rest of yoru family).

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