I tried to live out loud once but the world kept hitting the mute button

I am in the process of moving 250 gigabytes of my hard drive over to my brand spanking new laptop and when I say “I” I totally mean Nate because that’s how we roll around here. I move Heaven and Earth and Nate moves furniture and data.

I came across these photos I took of Helena as she was rocking it out in our driveway a couple of years ago and it brought to mind so many Once Upon a Times …


Once upon a time, a little girl who turned out to be an extrovert with a capital LOOK AT ME, MOMMY! LOOK! LOOK! ARE YOU LOOKING? was born to a woman who turned out to be an introvert with a capital AACK! DON’T LOOK AT ME! OH MY GOD, STOP IT. FOR GOD’S SAKE, WHY DON’T YOU JUST CLUB ME TO DEATH WITH A MONKEY ALREADY?


Once upon a time, that little extrovert liked to dance in the driveway to music only she could hear.


Once upon a time, her mom did the same exact thing but found out speedy quick that it’s only considered cute when you’re six and wearing Mary Janes with ankle socks. When you’re forty-ish and wearing faded aqua leggings from the eighties because your purple tye-dye sweats are dirty, it’s considered a psychotic break.

Who knew?


Once upon a time, I strived to impart upon this little rocker wannabe all the wisdom I had gained during my own youth, a big chunk of which was spent ogling John “Tony Manero” Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.



Once upon a time, she showed me how she shook her badonkadonk.

And I told her in no uncertain terms that she did not have a badonkadonk because, according to the Big Book of Mom, good little girls have bottoms, fannies and/or tushies but they most certainly do not have badonkadonks.

You don’t get a badonkadonk until you go to college and sneak into The Vital and go head to head against a hockey player in a game of beerpong which you ultimately win, immediately after which you and your badonkadonk burn up the dance floor to I Wonder If I Take You Home by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam which turns out to be oddly prophetic.

I didn’t tell her that part.


Once upon a time, I was simultaneously stunned and relieved to discover the extent to which my baby was going to be an enthusiastic participant in life.


And once upon a time, long before I became a blogger, back when I was a digital scrapbooker and had my shit together and not only took photos but also the time to write the stories behind them in an effort to document our family’s life, I managed to capture this particular moment forever.

Have I mentioned lately that you have evolved into an open book? And not just some ordinary black and white paperback cheapie but one of those mondo, flashy, full color extravaganzas bigger than our kitchen table. Youโ€™ve got about a million emotions and express each and every one the instant you feel it. Here, for no explicable reason other than you felt like it, you belted out a song so intensely, you might have been channeling Janis Joplin. You were simply IN the moment. I love that you go from five year old normal to American Idol wannabe at the speed of Mach 10. My own inhibited self tends to tiptoe gingerly on the quiet side of restraint so watching you is like sucking in a massive gulp of 100% pure oxygen. Thatโ€™s the way to live your life, babe. Live it loud and strong, like itโ€™s your first, last and only chance at it.




Share this post

37 thoughts on “I tried to live out loud once but the world kept hitting the mute button”

  1. Avatar

    I’m fairly certain that your Helena and my Addie are cut from the same spandex and sequined cloth.

    I’m also fairly certain that that thing I told you you should do is spot on, mate.

    And I’m fairly certain I have no command of proper grammar.
    .-= Kearsie’s last blog post is here ..A sappy recount of the birth of my baby =-.

  2. Avatar

    oh… oh….oh… I’m getting verklempt! Our little Andi SCRAPPED SOMETHING! Isn’t she just so precious! I just knew she had it in her. It just took a 5 year old extrovert to drag it back out! SO GOOD to see you scrapping dear, while telling your story here is not to be missed, there’s something to be said for boiling it down to a single moment. Great work on the layout, and – oh yeah – great work on that kid! Looks like you’re doing something wonderful there…
    .-= Jenn’s last blog post is here ..Saturday Scraplift: An Eye on Shapes =-.

  3. Avatar

    I still dance and sing around the house, until my teens exclaim “God mom would you stop that, your Not supose to sing to our music.” Which I reply “You will miss this when I’m dead”.
    .-= Tracy’s last blog post is here ..So excited =-.

  4. Avatar

    I absolutely love reading your blog-your writing amazes me!! Your family is so blessed to have you documenting the little moments-you have a very distinct and entertaining voice.

  5. Avatar

    Am reading your blog far back here in Fiji…..and Loving It!
    Wonderful how our kiddos in their comical moments etc etc are immortalized in pics.
    As for Helena’s here – aww its too cute.
    I gotta gotta just gotta read this blog for my – daily laugh.

  6. Avatar

    Hey! Those pictures are so awesome! If only everyone rocked out like that little girl. How inspirational! Screw the world, live out loud, ain’t no other way to live. ๐Ÿ™‚
    .-= Chris’s last blog post is here ..Discount Tire Stores =-.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *