Before and aftermath



Both of my girls got their hair chopped off last week. I absolutely love it. And it was by their own choice and there was no dragging, kicking, screaming or hysterical sobbing involved at all.

Well, maybe just a little. But it was my first day back on a certain weight loss plan that I had vowed never to do again and which shall remain nameless. And in my defense, there might have been a donut involved.

Anyhoo, I’ll have you know that I kept my mouth shut the entire time we were in the salon and by “entire time” I mean a full five minutes and for that, I totally deserved that donut. Just sayin’.

To my credit, I did not cringe at the first snip, I did not gasp at all the hair clippings on the floor and I have no idea who that uptight woman with a bug up her bottom was or why she insisted on parking herself between the girls and their reflections no less than 32 times while asking “are you sure?” Nor do I know why the girls kept referring to her as MOM, STOP IT. I’ll have to remind them of the dangers of talking to strangers.

My girls knew exactly what they wanted before they even sat down in the chair and they did not hesitate or second guess themselves and let me tell you, it took all of my will power to stop myself from tackling them to the ground and yanking out a hair from each of their heads for a DNA sample.


By the way, this one?

This one is going to turn nine tomorrow.

Happy birthday, peanut!



She is totally worth the stretch marks. All 86 of them.



She’s developing a very quirky personality lately as evidenced by this warning she slapped up on her bedroom door the other day.

As I read it, I wondered what was going through Helena’s mind when she wrote it because if I don’t mentally break down every single one of my kids’ actions and thoughts processes and analyze them under a microscope, what is my purpose here on earth? Then I immediately whipped out my handy dandy, color coded excel spreadsheet entitled THINGS I ABSOLUTELY MUST WORRY ABOUT OR I WILL SURELY DIE to determine if there was space to plug in one more item in the column labeled Are My Kids Normal? There was not, probably because the microscope I use is one of those fancy electron beam ones right from the set of CSI: New York and thusly, I’ve spent the last year or so conducting autopsies on my kids’ psyches.

Hey, here’s a random tidbit for you: Neither one of my kids is wound tighter than a jack-in-the-box on crack. Go figure.

So I grabbed a pen and jotted down possible spastic tendencies on the bottom of the spreadsheet under Helena’s subcategories, assigned it a threat level code of yellow, and then quickly shoved the entire thing into my mouth after Helena suddenly opened her door and demanded to know why I was standing there, didn’t I read the sign?



Oh my God.

Was this hiding underneath all her hair this whole time?

I had to update my color coded excel spreadsheet with Potential Narcissistic Egomaniac, Investigate re: personality disorder, concussion or Daddy’s fault? Threat level: RED

Then I re-read the entire thing and started to really freak out and added a further update of Determine origin of “O gravy;” Investigate re: when did she turn 90? Threat level: BLOOD GUSHING FROM MY BRAIN RED

Depending on what my investigation turns up, I’m seriously considering not letting her partake of any of the cookie cake we got for her birthday and instead, serving her a big, fat piece of humble pie instead. I’ll just have to eat her share of the cookie cake and to hell with my thighs and that certain weight loss plan that I had vowed never to do again and which shall remain nameless.

My daughter’s psychological well being is worth it.



Share this post

20 thoughts on “Before and aftermath”

  1. Avatar

    Love the new do’s and there’s nothing like a bit of shameless self promotion to boast a girls ego I say. Now be thankful she’s not a shy, timid little mouse. Anyway I’m guessing she gets that self confidence from you!

  2. Avatar

    Love the hair-dos – definitely great.

    Imagine that – you have a daughter with a quirky personality – now how did THAT happen?!!

    The BEST people are born around now, my birthday is on Friday 🙂

  3. Avatar

    Why, are those *side bangs* I see there on Helena’s head? They’re fantabulous!! 😀

    Color coded Excel spreadsheets…… I hear those are quite handy. Wanna share your formula? ‘Cause my 6 year old has taken to leaving us some strange notes, herself. Oh also? She has been a leopard for the past several days. She wanted antelope and water buffalo meat for lunch at her grandparents’ the other day, and insisted the dessert was monkey meat. Which column do I file that one under?

    Here’s hoping that Helena chooses a Cheesy Eddie’s carrot cake for her birthday, like my kiddo did back in May. ‘Cause Cheese Eddie’s carrot cake? TOTALLY worth the 86 stretch marks it adds to one’s figure. You know I speak the truth….

  4. Avatar

    Love the new ‘dos! S got a brand new, short and sassy do this past Saturday as well. And speaking of that weight loss plan that shall remain nameless, I’m doing that too.

  5. Avatar

    They both look GREAT! Love the hair!! LOVE that sign! I think Helena and Hannah would get along perfect 😀 Hannah would’ve put more “bad” stuff in about her older brother though! LOL

  6. Avatar

    I think the note from both you is great. it shows creativity, smartass mouth that runs in all female genes expect the few with the gift of soft spoken voice and that snow white fralitiy (not me, hell I’m told I sound like a freakin red neck).

    come stop by 2 peas..some of my layouts need a little gallery link is on my blog.

  7. Avatar

    Love the haircuts, love the note and LOVE that your 9-year-old loves herself! Hoping she hangs on to that sassy self-confidence all the way through high school!!

  8. Avatar

    O gravy!!!???
    If I asked her where did she come up with these things she would probably say, “in her head”. I always knew you have to watch out for Bear. She is so funny!
    Very excited to celebrate her birthday.
    Both girls look just beautiful. I’m not biased I’m just
    Granny Sue

  9. Avatar

    Bwaaaaahahaha! Those signs are hilarious!

    And the haircuts are just adorable. Zoe looks great with that tan, and the curls! Helena does look like a little mischievous, darling imp, I must say. And a lot like you and Nate!

  10. Avatar

    I would be worried. She reminds me a little bit of her mom…

    Love the hair, they both look fantastic! (And older somehow) Sorry about that, I’m sure that doesn’t help. 😉

  11. Avatar

    She’s a little mini-Andrea!!! She’s inherited your fun, quirky nature!!!! Think of all the fun you two will have when she’s a mom someday!!

    The girls haircuts are beautiful. They could be bald and they’d still be gorgeous. Oh and Bella wanted to let Helena know that she loves her new hair and she says “happy birthday to one peanut from another peanut”.

  12. Avatar

    I do believe I’ve heard ‘O Gravy’ come out of a kid’s mouth around here somewhere, too. Could be everything old is new again!

    Haircuts look great! Congrats!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *