If you make a living as a chauffeur for fecal matter, I guess you had better have a sense of humor

Yesterday, it took me one hour to drive one mile YES I SAID ONE FREAKING MILE and I don’t even live in LA.

I live in western New York where Route 590 is a goddamn, filthy cesspool of traffic jam every morning.

Periodically, while at yet another dead stop, I’d yell SHIT SHIT SHITTY SHIT SHIT ON A STICK at the miles of vehicles stretched out before me, including this one, whose cargo, I believe, turned out to be quite prophetic.

Irony, thy name is Witty Septic Guy.

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Amanda - September 29, 2011

Sounds like how I-81 gets here. I swear there’s an accident at least once a week that slows traffic to a stop.

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Barb - September 29, 2011

That’s hilarious!

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carolyn - September 29, 2011

I would want to hurt myself every morning if I had to drive in traffic like that.

On another note, I bet that kind of daily stress would qualify you for medical marijuana. You should look into that.

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ChristyC - September 29, 2011

On the back of one of our local (Maryland) septic company’s trucks, it reads “Politicians’ promises on board.” I’ve followed that one a few times. All of their trucks have witty sayings. Who knew septic company owners had a universal sense of humor?

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Heather @ nobody-but-yourself - September 29, 2011

Yeah, 590 is a pot-hole laden stretch of traffic hell. So is 490. And 390. Basically, all of our “expressways” are the exact opposite of “express” during any hour remotely connected with “commuting to work” – this is no small part of why we moved from one side of the county to the other. I’m so glad that I live close enough to my work that I could walk and/or ride a bike there. Could, mind you. Theoretically. Not that I actually *have* or anything.

Witty Septic Guy made me snicker.

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Jill/Twipply Skwood - September 29, 2011

Funny!

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Kasandria Reasoner - September 29, 2011

Wow can you imagine describing what you do for a living at a party? lol
Kas

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Janmary, N Ireland - September 29, 2011

Hilarious – and good to see you still write hilarious blog posts too.

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Jenny - September 29, 2011

Love it!

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Heather T. - September 29, 2011

Maybe you could walk the mile: just rope the wheel and leave the car in neutral and have other people push it, then you can hop back in when it catches up. Exercise, less frustration!

And that’s a pretty darn funny sign…

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Lindsay - September 29, 2011

That is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time! I had to read it to my husband and could barely get through it due to the laughing!

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Kandee - September 29, 2011

Before moving to California 5 years ago, we lived in Webster NY. Our septic tank cleaner’s name was Mr. Pitts… Ironic how a name can so fit the profession.

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Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity - September 30, 2011

LMAO

BTW, you actually made better time than we do out here in LA traffic. Just sayin.

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Joanna - September 30, 2011

I betcha ya no one gets in a wreck with him. Crash!! Shit! Why yes, yes it is and all over your car.

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Rebel Chick Jenn - September 30, 2011

LOL!! What really, really cracks me up is the bucket attached to the septic tank!!

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Michelle J - September 30, 2011

Too funny!!!

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Marianna - October 1, 2011

Ugh I am sorry for your craptastic drive but that truck is hilarious!

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Kathy - October 1, 2011

Nothing frustrates me more than traffic. I feel your pain!!!

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Holly - October 2, 2011

LOL! I definitely appreciate that driver’s sense of humour!

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Penelope - October 2, 2011

Omg, I never saw one of those beforeโ€ฆ.eeew!

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Sara - October 2, 2011

Hilarious!

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Annie @ Mama Dweeb - October 3, 2011

that is hilariously ironic! OMG!! I am so glad we don’t have traffic like that here. hooray for living in the country! ๐Ÿ˜€

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Lisa @ Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy - October 3, 2011

LOL we must be able to laugh at ourselves to truly enjoy life and it seems that driver can!

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Toni @ A Daily Dose - October 3, 2011

Ugh I have been in situations like that. I remember an hour drive taking us 5 omg i was ready to die and we still had 11 hours to go after that.

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hairstyles for girls - October 3, 2011

Oh shoot. It looks like you would have been better off walking. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Anne - Mommy Has to Work - October 3, 2011

LOL – That’s too funny!

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tricia Nightowlmama - October 5, 2011

yalk that is soooo gross

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kenyagirl - October 6, 2011

LOL that was disgusting, just think what was inside that tank makes you say yuck! well better off to just slow down on the side then let it pass for about 20 minutes. It was not your day friend! better to follow a forklift that that.

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Kathleen - October 7, 2011

LMAO That is hilarious!

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Cindy W. - October 8, 2011

Too funny. Hope things are going better for you and yours.

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Rachel - Following In My Shoes - October 10, 2011

BWAHAHAHA! This is HILARIOUS.

(but sorry you had to be stuck behind him for so long!)

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Jenna Haskins - October 10, 2011

Hello!
I’ve been reading all of your posts about Oliver (and a few other ones too, I thouroughly enjoy your wit!) and I was wondering if you could tell me where you got him? My dog Persie (short for Persistent, she was a barker) died recently and I’ve made a deal with my parents to buy another dog in January. Persie was a shih-tzu and I really like the shih-poo mix. I live in Massachusetts but I’m having trouble finding a reputable shih-poo breeder anywhere near here, so New York isn’t looking too bad if thats where you got him! (Also he is incredibly adorable, despite his defecation problems!) If you could help me out I would greatly appreciate it! Thank you!
Jenna

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Rebel Chick Jenn - October 11, 2011

I love those crazy photos opps that you just can’t make up!

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Trishia - October 12, 2011

hahaha! I really laugh hard on the picture.. Is this fr real? This is really funny.. Stinky Bus!

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Dawn C - October 14, 2011

That is funny!

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Sara - October 14, 2011

Gotta make ya laugh!

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Lisa - October 15, 2011

Hahaha, this is awesome!

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Kelly - October 15, 2011

HAHA I would have taken a pic too!

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Whitney - October 16, 2011

I love it when I really do get a chuckle out of a post. Stool Bus? That is awesome, haha.

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Dee - October 16, 2011

Too funny

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Rebel Chick Jenn - October 17, 2011

I keep checking back for newness…I’m thinking of you and wishing you well. xo xo

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Wella M. - October 17, 2011

oh how i hate traffic too! but on the other hand you just crack me up…it is freakin hilarious! lol

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Dee @ Cocktails with Mom - October 17, 2011

This is just too funny. Never heard of a stool bus before lol.

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Karylle Lynch - October 19, 2011

This is so funny! So where are the kiddos?lols I definitely love the humor of the driver’s or owner of the septic tank! Anyway, be glad because it is not every morning that you can see that!

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ohkeeka - October 19, 2011

HA! Also: ew. That’s a job I definitely wouldn’t want.

…and hey, this is my first time here and I notice you love Nutella and Anderson Cooper too. You clearly have impeccable taste.

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Tony Scott - October 20, 2011

Really funny and fitting, the septic guy with stool bus. Witty in fact!

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Anne - November 13, 2011

I hate sitting in traffic, it is so frustrating.

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Kaz - November 23, 2011

lol that’s too funny! well the sign at the back of that truck. ๐Ÿ˜€

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Dublin Chauffeur - August 21, 2013

Whoever doesn’t have a chuckle at that has no sense of humour!

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