I’m a day late. Probably a dollar too, unless the fuzzy pennies on the bottom of my purse count?

I was not aware that something worth celebrating was afoot yesterday. And for all of you wondering why I would celebrate a foot yesterday, or any day for that matter, please go take your meds. I don’t even like feet. I tolerate them only because I love shoes. Also, feet are the only things stopping all of us from toppling over onto each other and I’m not much into touching strangers, no matter what you’ve heard. Feet are hideous. Unless, of course, they are attached to pudgy babies. Or my own ankles but even then, I can only bear to look at them if I get a pedicure in which case I’m apt to fling you to the ground, sit on your groin, throw my feet in your face and yell LOOK AT THEM! AREN’T THEY GORGEOUS?

Apparently, yesterday was National Delurker Day, a day when blog readers come out from hiding to say “HI” to their favorite bloggers and maybe even throw them some candy and gifts and, if he’s available, Anderson Cooper.

I may be wrong about that last part, depending on who you ask and whether or not he works for CNN and is currently reporting from Haiti. While we’re at it, I’m probably wrong about everything that came after “favorite bloggers” as well but if you feel inclined to throw a Milky Way or a Nikon D90 my way, who am I to stop you?

I wasn’t even aware of the existence of National Delurker Day until it was too late and this is because I not only reside in a different zip code than the loop, I reside in a different galaxy and nobody will issue me a passport or hail a space shuttle for me. I’m trying not to take it personally. Therefore I had no time to get a decent post up and even less time for an indecent one as those take much longer to write since they require a lot more adjectives and creative ways in which to fit certain words in, like “thrust” and “enormous member” and “produce aisle.”

On behalf of all of us who are so far behind the times that we can’t even see them from here, I’d like to declare today as National Belated Delurker Day For Those Who Suffer From Short Squatty Leg Syndrome and are Perpetually One or Seventeen Steps Behind The Rest of the World (NBDDFTWSFSSLSAAPOSSBTROTW for short.)


graphic by Greeblemonkey (

So without further ado … THANK GOD and YOU’RE WELCOME … if you read my blog, delurk for a moment and leave me a comment to say HI, won’t you? If you’re shy, just type softly. I’ll hear you! You don’t have to expose your darkest secrets or anything, although I’m awesome at keeping secrets! I mean, I’ve been blogging for almost two years and you guys still don’t know about Nate’s third nipple.

Kidding! But now you’ll always wonder, won’t you?

I know you guys are out there.

*peering into my monitor*

Don’t let this post die a lonely, barren, isolated death in vain.


*tap tap*

Is this thing on?



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45 thoughts on “I’m a day late. Probably a dollar too, unless the fuzzy pennies on the bottom of my purse count?”

  1. Avatar

    Chin up, Andy. We’re here! In fact, it’s kinda tight in here. I don’t suppose we could talk you into buying a larger monitor so we wouldn’t be so crowded?

    Sorry to hear you aren’t particularly fond of feet. I’ll have to stay away the next time you have a pedicure, I’m afraid. My wife gets really skittish when other women sit on my groin. Truth be told, it bothers me a little too, if we haven’t even been properly introduced. I guess I’m just old-fashioned, that way. Still, it’s a way to meet people and make new friends, I suppose.
    Speaking of which, you must be making tons of new friends, what with Delurkers Day. Just remember, the Restraining Order can be your friend, too!
    Keep smilin’, and keep them posts a-comin’!

  2. Avatar

    Well, Im not particularly shy, and you won’t generally find me lurking in your bushes (hmm lets keep it clean, Bre) but I’m here to tell you We ( and that includes I) love you Andy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    …. but I ate your candy bar already. And mine too.

  3. Avatar

    Oops, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as National Delurker Day (or National Belated Delurker Day) but that’ll be because I’m Australian and have our own special National days like Labor Day (where everyone takes the day off), etc.

  4. Avatar

    I’m pretty sure I’ve commented before, so I’m not technically a lurker, but hi! (And I never heard anything about this Delurker Day thing before.)

  5. Avatar

    Just found you from SITS. I am not a feet person either but I need to join NBDDFTWSFSSLSAAPOSSBTROTW. I was totally unaware that Delurker day existed. Doh !!!

  6. Avatar

    Howdy! I had no idea it was “Delurker Day” either. Musta missed that memo. I’m not really a lurker either, I just found you via SITS and thought your blog title was hilarious! Great blog!

  7. Avatar

    I’m apparently out of the loop too. Although maybe not a different galaxy, I think a different continent is enough reason to be out of it. Except that the internet is what is supposed to keep you connected. And seeing as I spend WAY too many hours on it, I’m pretty sure I’m just as out of it as you are. Oh life.
    HBDD…yea that’s right, I acronym-ed it.

  8. Avatar

    Hello! I started following your blog through Princess Lasertron’s blog and you have become part of my daily reading! Thanks for making my mornings at work far more enjoyable!

  9. Avatar

    Kind of a lurker although i think i have posted before – i don’t remember – my brain sucks! I love reading your Blog – just rarely have time to post. Have a great weekend!!

  10. Avatar

    I just have to say that I love looking at your blog. Ok I like reading it too. You are always so funny and your words have such depth.

    And just to let you know that I live on the same planet in the same galaxy because I am always the last to know things too.

  11. Avatar

    I had no idea it was delurker day yesterday either until read it on someone else’s blog. Then I hurriedly slapped an addendum onto my already published post to cover it. Not that anyone said they had delurked in my comments but at least I tried

  12. Avatar

    I didn’t know of National Delurker Day either! Not until I read your post. I think it’s a fabulous idea. 🙂 Personally I can’t imagine resisting the impulse to leave a comment, but I’ve been at this for a while. I wish everyone could experience the satisfaction that comes with interaction.

  13. Avatar

    Well, if it makes you feel any better I was CLUELESS about this fabulous day until i read your fabulous post. I would have jumped on that wagon pretty darn quickly, let me tell you! Oh…and on feet – yuck. But I have a similar shoe dilemma, so, like you, I tolerate them. Mine are fine, actually, I love my own. I like my husband’s, but other than that…all feet are gross. Just say’n.

  14. Avatar

    I shall comment, because I’m already your fan. Also, look at that picture. 1. He could be showing his Team Edward Tshirt. 2. He’s looking behind his left shoulder, it’s very Olan Mills Pose-y 3. He only has a big toe. Very bizarre.

  15. Avatar

    Did not know there was a de-lurker day…huh…the things people come up with in order to have a drink.

    I mean….umm…..

    Where was I ??? Oh, yeah, I love your blog. You are delightfully funny and a welcome break from the tedium of my life.


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  17. Avatar

    Well I am a lurker on your site. Have been for a few years now. Mind you I think I did ask you last year about alcohol ink ornaments (which you got back to me thank you) I felt like a star left me a message.

    I just started a blog, not funny like yours though. Just about my ordinary life with some crafts thrown in.


  18. Avatar

    Hi Andy!
    Read you faithfully for over a year now! Didn’t know there was such a day, kinda weird but that’s what happens when people have too many donuts, they are high on sugar and make up weird stuff.
    So anyway, HI from California!

  19. Avatar

    I have been lurking (except for one comment) for several months now. I read all your stuff, I even went back and read some OLD stuff! Totally worth it! You crack me up on a regular basis. Thanks 😀

  20. Avatar

    Hi, I have been reading your blog for ages – you are an awesome writer – makes me laugh every time I read. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  21. Avatar

    A sort-of lurker here, I have commented a couple of times, and read every new post.

    I wonder if hating feet is due to growing up in upstate NY, where feet are covered 90% of the time, due to the weather? I hate feet too, and since we went to high school together, maybe it’s a school thing? When I moved to CA it became evident that I was going to have to adjust my feelings since people here in Los Angeles where flip flops or open toed shoes year ’round.

    I love your blog, and I always knew you had a great sense of humor, but I never knew how creative a writer you are. I am constantly impressed!

  22. Avatar

    DUDE WHAT???

    I didn’t hear about this ANYWHERE! I am soooo bummed! And, NOW I am late for the National Belated Delurker Day For Those Who Suffer From Short Squatty Leg Syndrome and are Perpetually One or Seventeen Steps Behind The Rest of the World Day! CRAZAP!!

    Sigh. That’s what cleaning closets does…you lose touch with reality. Well I don’t lurk. I stalk. Then sulk when I am not stalked back. The End.

  23. Avatar

    I do lurk. Never feel like I have much worthwhile that I can remember to say. The older I get (and I am very OLD) the less I remember. I consider my feet ultra ugly but since we live in AZ wear flip flops and sandals anyway. I try not to look at them and figure the rest of the people out there will just have to suck it up.

    Love being able to read you and have a smile. Bloggers that blog once every 6 to 12 months drive me crazy.

  24. Avatar

    De-lurking briefly… I think Maven turned me on to you… And you’re fabulous! And my feet are weird. Like, my right foot is MUCH fatter than my left… Remnants of pregnancy. (Darn kid.) And I also have weird hair. See?!!? MANY reasons for me to love you… Thanks!

  25. Avatar

    I come and laugh here all the time! I have 3 girls, my oldest is the same age as Helena and acts like Zoe. In trade for all the good laughs if you ever need someone to fork your brother’s yard here in Vegas the next time he won’t answer your mom’s phone calls I’ll hook you up.

  26. Avatar

    Well I’m pretty sure I’m a lurker. Although I haven’t googled the term so I’m not completely positive of the full meaning of the word. One thing I’m not though, is clever. Therefore, I read your blog because it entertains me immensly. Keep up the good work lady!

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