I can kill a houseplant in 2.3 days but I have managed to keep alive one female human being for over fifteen years and another one for almost nine and because of that, I get breakfast in bed once a year.
We have our Mother’s Day morning routine down to a science by now:
7:00 am: Helena and Zoe creep into our room and poke Nate and quietly whisper in his ear IS IT TIME?
7:01 am: Nate mumbles not yet, rolls over and falls back into his coma.
7:15 am: The girls creep back in and loudly whisper from ten feet away IS IT TIME NOW?
7:15 am: Nate says bbblllggrrrrrzzzzzzzzzztph and snores.
7:30 am: The girls march into our room and poke Nate until he bleeds and then drag him out of bed and downstairs.
7:31 am: Lots of banging in the kitchen. Possible smell of smoke. Exclamations of YUCK and EWWWW, NOT WITH YOUR FINGERS!
7:45 am: I am delivered breakfast and showered in bed with cards and presents and hugs and kisses and then scrutinized very closely while I eat to make sure I really like it and then ultimately asked how it feels to sleep in.
I really like my family. I think I’ll keep them.
For all of you moms, whether your children are on the inside of your tummy kicking the snot out of your bladder or on the outside of your tummy kicking the snot out of each other, or somewhere far away, I wish you all a Happy Moms Day!
And for all of you who could not care less about Moms Day, I wish you a Happy Sunday!
And by the way … pssssssssssssssssssst: you still have a couple of hours to click HERE and get in on my custom line art giveaway which ends at 5:00 p.m. tonight!