Our ceilings need to be potty trained

Who’s up for a couple of quickie multiple choice quizzes?

Let’s go!

The above photo depicts the ceiling in our recently remodeled kitchen and is evidence of which of the following:

  1. Nate’s list entitled “Things I Must Do So That Our House Does Not Get Condemned,” which includes basic necessities such as replacing an old roof because it’s in a state of deterioration due to twenty-five years of wear and tear, will never, never, never end. Ever.
  2. Andy’s list entitled “Things Nate Must Do So That Our Marriage Does Not Get Condemned,” which includes basic necessities such as replacing brand new paint on kitchen walls because her mind is in a state of deterioration due to forty-two years of wear and tear, just got pushed to that big ass back burner that Nate likes to refer to as REMIND ME AGAIN WHY I MARRIED YOU?
  3. Nate is going to run away from home.
  4. Ceilings are big, fat, stupid, incontinent cry babies.
  5. All of the above

Answer: #5. All of the above (but especially #4)

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The above photo depicts the ceiling in our Seasick Cookie Monster colored master bedroom and is evidence of which of the following:

  1. Ceilings breed when we’re not looking.
  2. Nate is halfway to Jamaica by now.
  3. The dream of a new kitchen wall color is going to cook on that back burner until it’s nothing but a dried up, blackened, charred nightmare.
  4. Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words, and they’re all four letters and begin with “F” and end with “UCK.”
  5. All of the above.

Answer: Who gives a shit.

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Thanks for playing! Tune in next week when Andy drags Nate back from Jamaica just in time for the master bathtub to plummet through the kitchen ceiling and explode into smithereens on the kitchen floor, thereby laying the foundation for a new list from Andy entitled “Not Exactly the Way I Planned It But What the Hell – Paint Colors For the New Kitchen Walls Nate Will Be Building” as well as a new list from Nate entitled PLACES TO RUN WHERE SHE CAN’T FIND ME.

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19 thoughts on “Our ceilings need to be potty trained”

  1. That sucks. Our roof is new-er-ish but our furnace is almost as old as me. I just know it’s going to die any day now. Today’s high temperature? 10. Yes, that’s Fahrenheit. So, today will likely be the day that it dies. And I will join Nate in Jamaica.

  2. It seems as though you’ve got a worse problem than we do, Andy. Our ceilings (and walls, in a few spots) are discoloring, due to mold. Brick and plaster construction, improperly sealed to begin with, high humidity…it’s a constant battle to keep up with it.

    I recommend that when Nate returns from Ocho Rios (and we all know he will), and gets the leaks fixed, he then run down to Home Depot and pick up a can of Kilz primer. It will mask the stains, and prevent them from bleeding through your new paint.
    By the time he gets that done, his infuriating tan should have faded to nothing!

  3. Suckage. Sorry. This is one of the many, many, many, many, many, many, many reasons why I was so happy to move OUT of our 125 year old house and into a nice new 3rd floor apartment complete with an emergency maintenance number.

  4. LMAO!

    We just got a new roof after THREE years (since we bought th house) of living with a sprinkling ceiling. It rained recently and we were like little kids on Christmas, so happy, knowing we didn’t have to run and grab every single pot and pan to stop a flood.

    My husband is working on this list too 🙂 “Things I Must Do So That Our House Does Not Get Condemned,”

    Love it!
    .-= Sarah, Ohana Mama’s last blog post is here ..Aloha Friday! “Cannot Get my Head out of the Bathroom” Edition =-.

  5. OMG. You are seriously hilarious. And, by the way, I have freakishly pointed elbows as well. i call them “witches elbows.”

    We bought a fixer upper because it was a great deal in a great area. It seems like house projects never end and neither does the hubby’s annoyance with my annoyance of living in a “work in progress.”

    Visiting from SITS and putting you on my must read list!
    ~Kay
    .-= Tickled Pink Twice’s last blog post is here ..Wordless Wednesday: Cell Phone Camera Style =-.

  6. Eeeeeeeek!

    Personally I would just join Nate and while on the beach bury my head in the sand and remain in denial. When you eventually return home just make a pact to never EVER look up at your ceilings, ever again!

    Good luch with denial 🙂
    .-= Janmary’s last blog post is here ..Lessons learned – lots of them =-.

  7. This post I had to share with the mister… brought a chuckle to us both as we were right there about 3 years ago…. time and telling the child we will now NEVER be able to afford her to go to college… will get the house repairs finally done… I am looking around at my broken chairs, mis shapen cushions and bent blinds… once the “major” repairs were done.. we now have no money for the “extras” as dh calls it… sigh… hey.. you are not alone!
    Good luck 😉
    .-= Kim FAucher’s last blog post is here ..after =-.

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