Remember my short and sweet post from yesterday?
I’m extending that philosophy to today’s post as well because my head and my back hate my guts right now and are staging a mutiny. My innards are in utter chaos. I think it’s because I stressed them all out by spending the entire weekend hosting a garage sale at my former mother-in-law’s house and dealing with people who:
- want to buy $875 worth of stuff for 25¢
- think that “sale starts at 9:00 a.m.” means DOORBUSTERS AT DAWN
- think that “sale ends at 3:00 p.m., means HEY, CAN WE STAY FOR DINNER?
- don’t want what I’m selling
- want what I’m not selling
- don’t know what they want, but hey, can they use our bathroom while they mull it over?
Seriously, where do these people come from? Can’t they be quarantined or something?
I’m going to leave you with a funny from my bloggy friend Deb Wisker. She tries to be all grown up and mature on her blog but she’s not fooling me. Anyone who sends me jokes about blow jobs and erections and boobs, complete with visual aids, cannot be taken too seriously. If Deb and I ever meet in real life, I will piddle in my undies. And if she ever takes me off her email list, I will still piddle in my undies but not in a good way.
The Human Body
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).
The average man’s penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Woman blink twice as often as men.
The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs.