The above photos are evidence of which of the following:
- We are living undercover as a landfill
- Our garage smells strongly of WHAT THE HELL CRAWLED IN HERE AND DIED
- Ginger Ale is a fertile slut living in suburbia
- Nate’s innards are vying for an “after” spot on a medical disease poster
- Nate needs a hobby
- All of the above
A couple of times a year, Zoe and I have a fun bonding experience while cleaning up the planet.
We haul out all of the trash bags filled with the remnants of Nate’s addiction and stuff them into the trunk of my car. Then we speed off to Wegmans where we proceed to shove each can, one by one, into the recycling machines and watch Zoe’s college fund almost double.
.
It’s actually quite fun to watch it grow exponentially in a matter of fifteen minutes.
Higher learning is damn expensive nowadays but if Nate continues to suck down every single can of Ginger Ale in the tri-state area, we should have her first two years of tuition pretty much covered by Christmas. And a laptop.
Unless the economy continues to tank.
In which case, Nate will have to start mainlining the stuff.
And Zoe and I will be forced to bond and clean up the planet a few more times during the year.
Zoe doesn’t mind, though. She loves to bond and clean stuff!
Except for the clean stuff part.
Unless she’s paid money.
Which she’s not.
So she rarely cleans.
Anything.
Right, Zoe?
Sometimes bonding and cleaning the planet is fun!
But sometimes, it isn’t.
Like when the cans are especially smelly.
Or super sticky.
Sometimes they’re especially smelly and super sticky at the same time.
When that happens, Zoe has a quirky habit of screaming loud enough to shatter glass and I think little ol’ grandma standing there behind her was a bit annoyed. Or a bit tipsy, considering the umpteen cases of Genny she had in her cart.
Not that I’m judging.
Hell, I think cleaning the planet would be much more fun if I were a little tipsy myself!
Cleaning anything would be much more fun if I were tipsy.
Or passed out, even.
.
Zoe and I share an extra special mother/daughter moment if a big bug happens to crawls out of a can.
That’s when we both shriek EWWWW EWWWW EWWWW in unison and flail our arms wildly about and throw cans in the air willy nilly and jump all around and totally irk the bejesus out of all the tipsy grandmas within a fifty yard radius.
Then I calm down and make Zoe pick up the can and shove it in the machine.
Hey, 5¢ is 5¢.
Besides, I don’t sport four dozen stretch marks and a wicked c-section scar for nothing.
And what matters most is, we’re bonding. And cleaning.
Right Zoe?
.
Although, there is something to be said about keeping the planet dirty and bonding over a grande strawberry cream frappucino at Starbucks while discussing various ways to earn full ride scholarships.
Right, Zoe?
.
.
18 thoughts on “*Sniff* I hope she cherishes these moments.”
I remember those can machines! Trust me, they’re far better than dealing with a surly Wegman’s employee who has to manually count your trust fund cache of smelly cans and bottles that you apparently did not sort in an adequate manner judging by the down the nose glare and mean Elvis sneer. The machines were a relief when they came. In Tennessee we don’t have deposits, so we are free to bond over the rising dust from pouring kitty litter into the newly ‘freshed’ boxes. Wanna trade?
They PAY you to recycle? Seriously?!!!! Even if it is only pennies, every penny counts!
I have one very entrepreneurial daughter, age 9, who is probably right now calculating how much to ship over our cans so she could make some money!
They PAY you to recycle? Seriously?!!!! Even if it is only pennies, every penny counts!
I have one very entrepreneurial daughter, age 9, who is probably right now calculating how much to ship over our cans so she could make some money!
P.S. – Sorry, forgot to tell you great post!
I have a similar situation that occurs here at my house as well, with the mother-daughter bonding over can/bottle recycling a few times a year (aka “once the ginormous garbage can in the garage is so overflowing with soda cans and bottles that one is wading calf-deep through the spillage”) except instead of ginger ale, the cans are either Cherry Coke Zero/Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi (Hubby’s drinks o’ choice) or any of the various varieties of the Dew of the Mountain and/or one of its generic forms (like “Mountain Lightning” for example, which somehow makes me feel like I’m drinking moonshine…)(oh yeah, the Dews are mine, all mine. Girl’s gotta caffeinate somehow, esp when girl doesn’t drink coffee or frappaccinos or Dunkaccinos or Tall, Venti, Skinny, Half-caff whatevers) and instead of the money going to Kiddo’s college fund (hey, she’s only heading into first grade…), it goes to fund things like Kiddo’s neverending Cheez-it requests and Daddy’s Perry’s Panda Paws ice cream addiction. 🙂
I love how Tipsy Granny behind Zoe is eventually looking straight at you and the camera in the photos. LOL! (And – Genny? By the case? *gag* That stuff is nasty!) (Though now that I think of it, I bet a few cases of Genny would’ve melted that disgusting wallpaper glue in a hurry……)
LOL! While we didn’t use the experience as a bonding moment for our kids, my hubby decided we too would collect cans and turn them in for cash since he goes to the recycling yard about once a month with all of his air conditioner debris from work. Of course, we couldn’t take them until we had “enough” first and apparently enough is defined as having so many freaking cans that you’re two trashcans are filled and overflowing onto the garage floor, you have several additional shopping bags filled and sitting on the garage floor and you have about 10-20 cans, uncleaned of course, sitting on what little kitchen counter space you own. Our house was literally overrun with cans! He was excited though and when he turned them all in, his excitement quickly faded as they gave him his $5.25. Needless to say, we promptly reverted back to putting them into our recycling bin and we let the city haul them away every week.
Oh I remember saving all the cans for that yearly haul (cuz we were too lazy to do it more often…. man it stinks. We didn’t have the machines though, just a bottle depot where the poor lady has to smell that stuff ALL DAY LONG!!! ew!
LOL! Your story had me chuckling! Off to dig out some cans myself.
OMG. All I can say is I’m ever-so-grateful for our weekly curbside recycling. I can NOT imagine. I would go all Steve McNair on my husband if he left his trash like that!
I have to agree. We don’t get paid for the curbside recycling, but it’s much better than collecting the smelly cans until there’s enough to make the trip worth it. In fact, on post we’re required to recycle. Where we lived before, we had to pay if we wanted to recycle with our weekly garbage pick up.
As a side note, I want a new Wegman’s. Ours doesn’t have those machines.
Try moving! You really clean out and recycle stuff. My kids can’t wait for the move. Aftewards, we are going to do the keep or charity truck sort of toys and stuff that is in storage. Seriously, ever since we have started watching clean house and how clean is your house on the bbc it has made a difference.
lol!!! too funny. i remember those days when I “HAD” to recycle the cans for money. it probably would’ve been better to not have been “junking” on soda and saving the money. oooo hindsight. lol!
Wow. We aren’t allowed to toss cans into our garbage. The garbage guy (or gal) won’t pick it up if it has cans in it. But they don’t pay us to recycle them either. Nope. We have to recycle… but it’s not a money making venture. how cool for you guys.
LOL!! man oh man. wish we had something like that around here where we could just shove in the cans! I’d be RICH! RICH I’m tellin’ ya!! sigh..dh doesn’t go in for the recycling thing because #1 the clutter and mess and #2 no place that we know of to easily get rid of them! Now guess I need to link up Krogers with Wegmans! or write Wegmans and tell them to build a store here in Ky!!
btw…sign in to messenger??
You get paid to recycle?! I am impressed. Here in Hot-Lanta we put the recycling in a big blue plastic box and it’s hauled away every Wednesday. Nobody pays us. Must be nice. I am wondering how much it would cost to ship our cans up there to you, and if splitting the 5 cents would be worth it…. nah, probably not.
BTW your blog widget is now on The Crab Chronicles. How’s the book coming along??
Bring ’em to Michigan… we have a $.10 bottle and can return. It’s not like you get paid to recycle since you have to pay $.10 per bottle or can to begin with. But only for carbonated beverages. Juice, water and wine don’t have a deposit, so no return.
At $.10 a bottle or can, there is a cottage industry for entrepreneurial youngsters looking to fund raise with bottle drives. It’s also a source of income for homeless people. I will have to say, since the bottle deposit law went into effect, the highways streets and parks are much cleaner.
That last picture is priceless! Looks like you can afford at least one used text book with all those cans! ; )
I’m jealous right now. I want to bond with anyone and get paid to recycle.