So, how many times can you lose your virginity? It’s *GIVEAWAY* time!

I promise, this will be the last time I compare hosting a giveaway on my blog to losing my blogging virginity, because honestly, I’m starting to come across as a bit promiscuous, aren’t I?

And I am so far from promiscuity that I can’t even see it from here, much less participate in it.

However, blogging about losing my actual virginity is still on the table.

If I ever really lost my actual virginity, that is.

Which I haven’t. I believe I’ve mentioned before that my mom reads this blog and thinks Zoe and Helena came special order from the Pottery Barn Catalog.

So, let’s get on with it, shall we?

Once upon a time, I entered a scrapbooking contest.

digital-scrapbook-layout_1

OK. Twice upon a time, I entered this contest.

digital-scrapbook-layout_4

FINE. If you want to get technical about it … thrice upon a time, I entered this damn contest.

But only because twice upon a time, I didn’t win. And because I’m a glutton for punishment. And masochistic.

And apparently, redundant.

digital-scrapbook-layout_2

It was called the Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame contest. Back in the day, it was a very prestigious contest to win with lots of publicity and honor.

I didn’t win it back in the day. In fact, I won it the last year it was held.

And that’s all I’ll say about that.

digital-scrapbook-layout_5

The Hall of Fame prize package, contributed to by several generous companies, was something akin to Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom and included tons and tons of bright, shiny, colorful traditional scrapbooking products, like patterned paper, cardstock, embellies and the like.

But if you happened to be a digital scrapbooker with no inclination to partake in paper craftiness, whose winning entry was 100% digital, who was hoping to have digital scrapbooking represented and score some Adobe candy or even just one digital element, the package was more like the parking lot of Magic Kingdom. Nowhere near the tram. In the middle of August. With soggy shoes.

But my kids thought otherwise, as evidenced by my fleeting glimpse of their bulging eyes immediately before they dived head first into the boxes and called dibs on any item they managed to grab before I yanked them out by their ankles, frisked them down, confiscated the loot and issued them a restraining order confining them to the laundry room until they matched up all the loose socks.

I haven’t seen them, or my socks, to this day. But I swear I’ll look for them soon.

digital-scrapbook-layout_3

Quickutz was a contributor to this prize package. And before I go any further, let me make it perfectly clear that Quickutz is not paying me to say nice things about them. I am not a spokesperson for Quickutz. I’m not a paper crafty person, remember? Because if I was, I wouldn’t be writing this post in the first place and instead, I’d be decoupaging Nate with all my paper goodies and making him pretty for work. I’m not a spokesperson for anyone except myself. And speaking on behalf of myself, I’m considering letting myself go because in this economy, I simply can’t afford myself and besides, letting myself go is something I’m really good at and you’re supposed to play to your strengths.

Am I right?

So, to be clear, I do not represent Quickutz.  No one is paying me to sing the kudos of Quickutz. No one pays me to sing, period. Be grateful.

Quickutz was a very generous contributor. And, as it turns out, a very understanding one. I called them up and explained my situation and offered to put the phone up to their gift certificate so that they could hear it whimper and whine from my neglect. They declined and then graciously allowed me to swap out my gift certificate for a shopping spree giveaway on my blog.

Is that great customer service or what?

I love shopping sprees!

I mean, I think I love them. I’ve never actually been on one. I think in order for it to qualify as a “spree,” you’re not supposed to cry when you pay and the cashier should be able to swipe your credit card without having to use a crowbar to wrench it out of your death grip first.

I checked out Quickutz.com and these are just a few of the things I found that peaked my interest. I couldn’t show them all because then this post would go on for miles and then my mom would call me up to yell “HOW DO I SCROLL? WHERE DOES THIS MOUSE THING GO? and then my last nerve would pitch a hissy and go on strike.

If she made it this far, it will be a miracle.

.

quickutz-squeeze

How cute is this thing? If I had this in my arsenal, I could have made Helena’s birthday invitations a whole heck of a lot prettier than those voice mail messages I left.

quickutz-silhouette

This machine cuts stuff. With the help of a computer.

I am just a wealth of technical knowledge, am I not?

quickutz-revolution

This cuts stuff too. Without a computer.

There I go, spouting off my techie speak again. Sorry.

There’s all sorts of cool stuff at Quickutz.com and I better just stop now or I might just scrap this entire giveaway idea and keep it all to myself. Pun intended. Hahahahaha! Get it?

So can I just shut up already and tell you what I’m giving away?

And can I not be so contrary?

As a matter of fact, I can!

.

Up for grabs is a $200 shopping spree at Quickutz.com! The who, what, when, where, and how details to be provided to the winner upon notification.

.

OK … here’s the scoop:

  • To enter, leave a comment in this post, telling me my 401K statement is a fake. In other words, lie. Lie like a dog. Woof.
  • No entries after 5:00 pm eastern time tomorrow, Tuesday, March 10, because that’s when I’ll be scrambling around my kitchen, assembling dinner and spritzing my face with water to make it look like I slaved all day over it. Nate appreciates that kind of effort.
  • I’ll use random.org to select one winner. I love all things random.
  • Who else doesn’t shave their legs every day? I feel all alone in this world.
  • Please don’t enter more than once. If you don’t see your comment right away, be patient. Otherwise, you risk being called a whackadoodle. On behalf of whackadoodles everywhere, STOP IT. You’re giving us a bad rep.
  • I’ll announce the winner on Wednesday!

Good luck!

Off to shave my legs. It is Monday, after all.

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215 thoughts on “So, how many times <i>can</i> you lose your virginity? It’s *GIVEAWAY* time!”

  1. You are not alone, I rarely shave these days…the only reason to dread summer! And I am with you on the 401K statements. I don’t even open them anymore! It is all lies. Can I please have a shot at that GC? Thanks. Love your blog!

  2. I didn’t know that you won HOF! That’s awesome. I don’t even remember how I found your blog, actually, but I’m glad I did. Cracks me up. That’s not even a lie. 🙂

  3. Congratulations and I totally get the “nuff said” part of winning on the last year they held it. What a debacle!! Figures that would be the year you won!! But still a great honor nonetheless!! 🙂 As far as 401(k), I work with these plans everyday and pretty much across the board everyone lost 30-40% of their account. So painful to see. Especially when 30-40% lost is more than the mortgage on my house!! 🙂 Here’s hoping 2009 is a better year!!

    Rachel

  4. Does it count if you haven’t shaved your underarms for about 20 years? Or sometimes you shave only part of your legs depending what pants your wearing i.e capri (shave to mid calf) ankle length (don’t bother) shorts, Gawd I haven’t worn them since the last time I shaved my armpits! I love winter…..no shaving. Your digital scrapbook layouts are awesome.

  5. Shaving? What is this thing of which you speak? It’s still snowing up here so I don’t have to worry about that kind of thing, you know skin showing and all that.

  6. Shaving? that would take precious time from scrapping… nope… only in the summer when I am forced by unbearable heat to get into shorts/bathing suit. It’s the ONLY reason I love winter!
    Didn’t know you won, great job!

    Would LOVE a shot at the GC! Thanks!

  7. Shaving?! How dare you use such vulgar language! I’m apalled!! I would love to win something in my life!!!!!! I did win something over at Paula Constables, so maybe I can here too! Go me!

  8. Your 401k statement is a complete fake. Just like mine. At least I’m sure it would be if I ever saw one, but it’s not necessary when you have millions and millions in there, right? Well, that would definitely be a fake. Oh well! Someday maybe I’ll have some money. Probably not.

  9. I’m with you on the Quickutz stuff. Love it . . . but I wouldn’t even know what to do with it! Although . . . it would certainly make some awesome crafts for the kids. And I do love doing crafts with the kids.

    And why would you even open your 401K? I’m just saying. There’s no point. Because then you would see how your rate of return is through the roof and then when ever you posted you would be overcome with guilt on how well your 401K is doing compared to EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET.

    Yes. Only you are making money in a 401K right now. The rest of us are revising our plans so we can continue to work for 10 years after our death. Yes. A work force of corpses. People who have died but must continue to work anyway. That’s what I’m planning at this rate.

  10. Found your blog through two peas…. very funny stuff! Love the digital layouts. Now, a lie….

    the stork brings the babies?
    the easter bunny and santa have sunday tea?
    winter will end soon?

  11. Don’t enter me in the giveaway, because I am a digi scrapper, too.

    I always wondered if it would be a letdown to win HOF after going digi, because none of the prizes were geared to digi scrappers at all. Major bummer! A nice Wacom tablet or a copy of PSCS would be awesome, don’t you think?

    Nice of the Quickutz folks to let you give away a shopping spree!

  12. You blog cracks me up, you have a gift at calling it like you see it 🙂 As far as your 401K is concerned..Don’t hold your breath. It might as well be printed on toilet paper, at least you will have something you can use while you enjoy this financial ride. Ok, on to shaving.. Do people do that anymore?? LOL! I live in the Pacific Northwest, when I plan to shave after a long winter I have to see the county clerk for an old growth removal permit. Thats not even the half of it though, I have to beat the tree huggers off of my shower doors. After all of that, I am just too tired.

  13. The only shaving I do lately is when the doctor asks me how much I weigh.
    Thanks for the chance 🙂
    Sorry, forgot to add great post! Can’t wait to see your next post!

  14. You crack me up….maybe one day you’ll find your socks and your kids….funny thing about socks is I hate matching them, so I usually toss them, and just keep buying new ones…lol…

    Anyway, that’s great to hear that you won HOF…and equally awesome is that QK is letting you do the giveaway…

    I can’t even comment on the 401(k)…because I look at my statements in disbelief all the time… 🙁

    Hang in there, and have a great day!

  15. LOL.. just to add a few lines that you have a neat & clean plus beautiful design “creative junkie” site.
    Sorry for not following the rules 🙂

  16. Mine. Gimme. I am the queen of the universe and I demand an offering of gift cards.

    (Actually, I’d really like to be able to donate it to our church’s kids ministry. Yay!)

  17. This is the first time I’ve read your blog- it is hilarious- your writing is witty and just downright fun. Let’s not talk about 401K’s right now, shall we? And shaving my legs in the winter- really, what is the point? Thanks so much for the chance to win the giveaway.

  18. What a great blog. Into my favorites. Btw I wish someone would tell me my 401K statements are fake. Where did all that money go? Oh well there wasn’t that much in there to begin with. I say we all ignore what the balances are untill 2 years from now. That’s my new stance on it. No more opening mail from Smith-Barney for me until 2011.

    So no I don’t shave me legs everyday. Actually only one time in my life. I’m a guy and never minded the hair, lol.

    Look foward to keeping up with the blog, and I love Quickutz. Pick me, pick me.

  19. Your 401K is extremely an error only. Y2K virus found its way to their database after 9 years and took some of the numbers away. Cheer up ok, they are working on the anti-virus now.

  20. Though I am 100% digi like you – I have some best gal pals who would love this prize!

    Which is truth and which is a lie?

    I’ve gained 20 pounds since getting married.
    I just shaved my legs for the first time in a month.

  21. I haven’t shaved all winter because I’m growing my winter coat. Maybe in August.

    WhooHoo, I LOVE my QuicKutz but would love to try the Silhouette. Thanks for the chance.

  22. You are a stunning woman with an amazing way with words.

    As far as shaving my legs, I live in Michigan where it’s 3 degrees half the time. I need all the warmth I can get & since I’m already married I’m not lookin’ to impress anyone, lol.

    I would love to win the prizes, so I’d be much obliged if you chanted my name while using the random generator thingie!

  23. You’re right; that is really cool of QK for allowing you to pass on your prize!

    I enjoyed reading your post. You have a great sense of humour! Thanks for the opportunity to win the shopping spree!

  24. cheryl andrews

    I say you shouldn’t have to shave your legs unless the stubble cuts someone. This is the first time I’ve read your blog and I think you’re hilarious. I’ll be back for more.

  25. 1) I think all 401k’s are fake.
    2) Shave my legs everyday? Bwahahahahahahaahahah! In Michigan, I only need to shave June – August, and that’s only if we’re lucky enough to get a warm day (or dare to show off my fat legs by wearing shorts)

    Love your blog!

  26. Oohh..so if your 401K statement is fake then maybe mine is too? *WHEW* I feel so much better now!

    Now for some meditation….ohmmmmmmm…ohmmmmmmmm…Gods of the random number generator…please, PLEASE pick my number!

  27. Hi,

    I just stumbled accross your blog from 2peas. You’re fun! I wish I could be a digi scrapper, but I am not organized enough. I can’t even find my pictures… recently looking for that special picture (which I never found) I did come accross an 8 track tape!!! Who even remembers those, and why do I have one? Anyway… I’m off to surgery with my mom, and chemo this week, so no time to play, but I’ll definately bookmark your blog if I can remember to watch it… you definately brightened my day! Thanks so much!!
    Jill

  28. These are NOT lies (ha ha):

    The next bailout is to scratch all our 401(k)s and everyone just gets a billion dollars upon retirement! (This solution might be cheaper than the next bank bailout!)

    I never enjoy reading your blog. It stinks like your missing socks.

    I shave my legs every day. My husband never puts a blanket between us in bed because my legs are so prickly he can’t sleep, no no. This morning in the shower, he didn’t beg me to shave while I shut the water off and said, I’ll do it tomorrow… which didn’t also happen yesterday.

  29. Okay, your 401k is a fake, and a fraud. ANd lol I wanna win that quikcutz thing. SO please enter me.
    WHO shaves every day, certainly not me.

  30. Lie about your 401(k), what? Okay, I am confused. Well, your 401(k) absolutely fine, don’t worry about it!

  31. I hope this doesn’t ruin my chances, but I am anal retentive about shaving every day. I cannot sleep with myself if I have porcupine legs. I’m weird that way. Sorry.

    As far as your 401K . . . just like mine, it is a figment of your imagination. (Which is, ironically, sad AND true.) Your 401K is as fake as a Time magazine cover of Ben Bernanke wearin’ 501jeans and nothin’ else. Okay, that was a stretch, I realize. I must hone my lying skills, apparently . . .

  32. Hi,

    I came over from Humor Bloggers to see what the fuss was about. If I win, I will give the prize back to you making you do it all over again. Your 401k is fake. Am I lying? Well, put me in the random generator and if I come out here we’ll find out.

  33. Leave the 401K alone. It isn’t going anywhere. LOL….

    Love your blog and glad I found it today of all days! Woohoo. And your work is beautiful.

  34. Shave my legs EVERY day? That’s insane – maybe every other day though……

    And a 401K? What would that be? Totally fake imho!

    Your blog is hilarious – and your entries are fantastic.

  35. Great blog & thank you for sharing this awesome chance for a QK shopping spree, so cool!

    I have to shave, yes HAVE to, everyday or I’ll go crazy, I can’t stand those little spikes of hair, even when I’m wearing pants I can feel them rubbing, omg I’m going crazy just thinking about it!!!

    Oh and why so many lies?!?!?

  36. I actually am thrilled when winter hits because I don’t have to shave my legs everyday. I may shave once every week. The key is to wear pant pj’s. I made the mistake of wearing capri pants and now I have to shave!!!! As far as the 401K stuff we try not to look either. We have such a long way to go before retiring. (that can be good or bad)

  37. Shaving??? I’m in MI. If I shaved during the winter my legs would get frostbite! Its a no go! LOL Sorry it took so long for you to win but its still exciting! Congrats!

  38. Can’t speak about your 401K statement (though I think you already know the answer) but have to say that the butterfly layout is freakin’ beautiful!!!

  39. Love your LO’s. I am a paper junkie, though I am trying to reform.

    QK is great, just got a Revolution for my 50th (Gasp, the horrors……) Bday. So I need more dies…..

    Seriously, I only shave in the winter if going to a hotel with a pool, or going to the Dr. (for that dreaded annual palpitation).

    Don’t worry about the 401K, the oceans will rise and flood us out long before that!!!

  40. Congrats on the prize, too bad you can’t use this portion of it for yourself but as into hybrid as I am I surely wouldn’t have a hard time finding something. I’ve convinced myself that my real 401k is just fine because what I’ve seen lately must be a joke.

  41. I totally remember how AWESOME it was that a digi girl won that, too bad CK sucks and didn’t manage to round up some digi goodies for you. oh well 🙁 I still want the silhouette. Pretty Please! Think how awesome my wedding invites will be!!

  42. Well I am Canadian, so to me your 401K is absolutely useless, totally useless. I love QK, and would dearly love a shopping spree, I want the silohette so much. I had no idea you had won HOF

  43. lol My legs’ve not seen a razor in more days than I care to admit. And 401K’s? Who needs ’em anyways *sniff*

  44. I haven’t shaved my legs either. In a while.

    And the statement?? Totally wrong! Didn’t you know they typoed and dropped a couple of zeroes off the end of your account balance?

    Now then, smile. 🙂

    WOOF. 😛

  45. Just found your blog. Precisely the sort of laughs I needed today. 6″ of snow last night and it’s 7 degrees. Brrrr… Four kids cooped up inside with a cranky mama. I needed a laugh!

  46. so sad that you as a digi scrapper didn’t get the benefit of the prizes. That would really suck.
    I shaved on Saturday as I hit the pool.

  47. I don’t even look at my 401K. Don’t bother!! I know all about the HOF nightmare, but I get the impression from your post that they aren’t doing it anymore?! Is that correct? I never realized…I am a bit out of it. I think I shave my legs about as often as the average male does. But it’s soft. And blonde. Sure.

  48. Holy Crap what a fabulous contest!!!! I’ve been wanting one of those machines very badly because I had big plans to try to use it to make fabric appliques. But we’ll see about that.

    Your 401k statement is conterfeit. I’ve been sending it to you for years now just to keep a sistah down. Your real 401k has been steadily increasing in value at a healhty 10% per annum.

    You won that contest? Woman, womanwomanwoman – one day you will rule the world.

  49. The 401k is a big fat fake!

    I rarely shave my legs… In fact, its been like a month! I have blonde hairs that take forever to grow in, woot!

    Your contest pretty much rocks my socks off!

  50. Don’t enter me in the giveaway. I just want to hear the story of you winning the HOF! Sounds like a great story. 🙂

  51. Wow what a wonderful giveaway as a biscrapsual scrapper myself this makes me drool.

    Honey the 401k statement is so fake. Can’t you tell by the ink and lack of watermark? trust me you are just fine – sit back and don’t even think about for 10 years and you will be just fine.

    As for leg shaving – um lets just say I gotta forrest going on those puppies!

  52. Wow, what an awesome giveaway! Thanks for the chance of winning this generous prize. As for the leg-shaving, I do it on a somewhat regular basis year-round… my yoga capris aren’t long enough to hide my unsightly stubble at the gym. 😉

  53. The 401 is a lie.

    What’s a 401? 😛

    Please enter me in the draw? ‘Cuz I like cutting paper, and a QK spree would be oh so fun!

  54. Well, being that when I got my 401K statement, I cried…literally cried. I don’t work anymore (except working my ass off taking care of my kids everyday) so I’ve been watching my 401k just dwindle away. Since I decided there had to be some error…a mix-up with some other Helene out there in the world, I think yours is probably an error too!!!

  55. I swear…the government is messing with 401k statements to get people to save money. Don’t worry, you have more than it says.

    And seriously, my legs are so hairy, if you threw me at something fuzzy, I’d stick. Like velcro.

  56. heck I went to catholic school so in high school I only shaved my knees 9 times out of 10 until track season! the skirt and the knee socks hid the rest

  57. I want to mention that I loveeeeeee your digi layouts, so very creative 🙂 Hmm, shaving, nottttttttt until the summer on a regular basis. I only shave in the Winter when I have an appointment where someone is touching my legs lol. Ok, call me a disty blonde but I have no idea what 401k statements are lol, so I just lie by saying that 🙂

  58. Women shave every day? Seriously? I do the pits about once a week, twice a week in summer. And the legs, well, not at all when the temp drops below 50 and I stop wearing shorts/skirts. Legs maybe weekly in summer, more often if I have to appear in bathing suit.

    The 401K statements just forgot to include all the 2008 contributions. When they get that bug figured out, your money will reappear. 😉

    I’m a hybrid scrapper, so I’m sorry you won’t get use out of QuicKutz, but I would!

    Love all your pages, especially your NF page. I’ve never seen this year’s HOF “isssue,” so I haven’t seen it. I’ve added you to Google Reader 🙂

  59. Ok, your 401K is a fake, a total lie!! Does that make you feel better?
    Oh and your so talented I can’t even stand it, and that is so not a lie!! Your awesome! Love your work, love your blog!

  60. Shaving? What that? LOL! It’s 5 p.m. and I still have my pajamas on!
    In my defense I have a 2 y.o. and a 3 month old, work from home, and it’s snowing outside. 🙂

  61. hopefully we can all wake up soon from this 401k downward spiral nightmare, it is certainly a lie!!! 😉 love your blog, :P, love your los, you are an awesome scrapper and thanks for letting us all in on this great opportunity of winning that fun prize!

    patti

  62. hopefully we can all wake up soon from this 401k downward spiral nightmare, it is certainly a lie!!! 😉 love your blog, love your los, you are an awesome scrapper and thanks for letting us all in on this great opportunity of winning such a fun prize! 🙂

    patti

  63. fortunately for me i’m in florida right now, so i have to shave my legs, grrr!!! your 401k is a complete forgery, don’t believe it!!! 😉 love your blog, you are hilarious and your los are awesome!!! thanks for giving us this opportunity!

  64. My husband frequently reminds me that prepubescent boys have less leg hair than I do. But it’s now to the point where it’s soft & no longer stubbly, so I have no real incentive to shave. I insist it’s a buffer from his jagged toe nails!

    I can’t sympathize on the 401K, by my IRA is taking a nosedive as well. I don’t get how it loses more than I put in every month.

  65. 401k??? What 401k??? If I looked at mine it would now be a 80.2k, I do believe. I won’t look at it any more, just toss it to my husband when it comes. HOWEVER, I’m sure yours has gained in value. yeah, right.

  66. I don’t know what a 401K – Must be because I am Canadian… that being said… I’m sure it’s a fake, what is real these days?

    Love your writing – so witty – I heard about your blog through a Canadian scrapbooking forum, and I have to say will be stopping by to read some great writing.

    Thanks for putting up and awesome give-away.

  67. 401k? Lies, lies! All lies! Oh were that true! Hang in there though — it WILL get better! So glad I found your blog — you have a very fun writing style. And congrats on your CK HOF win. If only they’d been on the ball enough to award the digital winners digital loot.

  68. OMG, I haven’t laughed this much in a long time. Have you ever thought about being a full time writer? I really enjoyed reading this and I have loved looking through your blog. You are a kind and generous person and boy do I know what you mean about tough times economy wise. And did you say shaving…LOL…it is getting warmer here now I suppose I should head off to shave too…LMBO. Thank you for making me laugh and thank you for allowing me to have a chance to win such an awesome prize. 🙂

  69. Wait….shaving. Shaving. That rings a vaguely familiar bell. Oh wait! I know! That’s what I used to do when I was single, and wearing skirts right? I think.

    Seems to me too that you have a high proportion of Canucks visiting your blog. Add me to the list, but I married an American. Does that count? So at least I know that a 401k has nothing to do with RAM or processor power on a computer. But it can buy you some, can’t it?

  70. you don’t shave everyday? omg!haha! jk! i don’t know anyone besides me that does! and your 401K statement really is fake. 🙂

  71. What 401k? I haven’t seen no stinkin’ 401k statement. There is no such thing. Your money is all safe and tucked away under the mattress! Bark! Bark! Wag-wag. Woof!

  72. The 401K *has* to be a fake! 🙂

    Oh, and I just love your blog! You have a great writing style, and made me laugh.

    Thanks!

  73. Wowser! Love those digi layouts and I’m totally a paper-crafty kind of person.

    And, did you really look at your 401K statement? Brave woman if you did.

  74. Ok, you wanted me to lie so here it is: I’m 5’7″ and weigh 122 lbs.

    If you didn’t live up in the tundra of NY State you’d want to shave your legs more than once a week or month or whenever it is because anywhere else you wouldn’t need the hair for insulation from the freakin cold!

  75. Your 401(k) statement is a total fake! I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, but I was the one that sent it to you. Time to come clean… it’s fake.

    Shave? What’s that? And why would you do that to your legs?

  76. Shaving your legs its still winter up here in Canada. We need the warmth.lol
    And a 401K ??? humm don’t have that either.
    Your layouts are beautiful. Im a paper scrapper. Just figured out the computer stuff not to long ago.
    Love your blog, its in my fav’s

  77. My lie is: I try really REALLY hard in my American National Government class. There it is. 😀

    Oh, and also, I don’t shave my legs every day either 🙂 Real women can deal with their body hair!

  78. ok being foreign…lol I know nothing about 401K’s but I am sure yours is fake.. and fyi, I do the legs once a fortnight.. and with the wipe on wipe off cream, I am way too lazy for a razor

  79. I think you should move to Canada where 401Ks do not exist, and a little extra leg hair is considered insulation against the cold harsh weather. If you believe everything you read, braiding our leg hair is actually a national pastime during the winter, and usually ends with the melting of the last of the neighborhood igloos.

    🙂

  80. 401(k)? those don’t really exist do they? so yours must be fake!!!

    You are truly brave to submit…I’ve been trying to get my nerve up for years to enter those contests…maybe i will this year!

  81. 401K? Well, I think yours is as much of a lie as my RRSP (the Candian equivalent)is!!! It is all a total, big, horrible lie told to make us all want to give up already and throw in the towel. DO NOT LISTEN TO IT!!! You actually have thousands and thousands sitting there quietly singing your name and waiting for you to need it!!!

    Don’t know what I would do with all of the fun stuff available from that site but, be sure, I would think of something!!!!

    Olwyn

  82. 401K? I assumed everyone’s was a fake, because if you have managed to acquire one in the last few decades….it’s gone NOW in this economy. Aren’t we talking about letting ourselves go?

    Really, though, what an AWESOME giveaway. I would LOVE to be the winner, all things RANDOM….I just happened to stumble on to your blog, so that seems random enough for me.

    Have an amazing day………

  83. I’m trying not to worry about the 401K. There was a time I didn’t have one . . . well, wait . . now that I think about it, I don’t have one now either.

  84. Bethany Peterson

    Your 410k is a figment of the Matrix. It never really existed anyway, so don’t worry about it!

    LOVE Quickutz. Their fonts are the absolute best!!

  85. 401K, no idea what that is – maybe you should move to Australia where we don’t have them so they can’t lie.

    As for socks, in our house they all gravitate to the one childs bedroom in single file – never pairs. No one else can find theirs, hmm you think there might be something I am missing – well apart from socks.

  86. Your 401K is totally fake. LOL! I shaved my legs yesterday. Its summer already down here in Arkansas. Ha! Crossing my fingers!! Please let it be me!!!!!!!!!!!

  87. 401ks aren’t real, because if they were, that’s what they’d be called here in Canada too. So don’t worry about yours! 😉

    You are so sweet for sharing the wealth, congrats on your win!

  88. Well – hello!
    I don’t even know what a 401k is – so it must be fake, else I’d know about it right?? *giggles*

    Congratulations on a fabulous win – I drool over quickcutz!!

  89. 401k?? what’s that? I don’t know what it is… you must be lying about its existence therefore it must be fake! LOL

    Gorgeous gorgeous LOs! I can’t pull off the graphic look. 🙂

  90. Ok. Your 401K statement is a fake. In fact, you never even sent your kids to the laundry room. You don’t even have a luandry room, do you? or socks for that matter, huh? It’s all fake, except the shopping spree, right? 🙂

  91. Being oh so bored at work and deciding that surfing the net would be much more fun than logging in to my 401K account and having a good cry, I found you! You ROCK! Not only are you hillarious, but you’re giving away scrapbooking stuff. I think I have a new best friend.

    As for shaving…I broke down and finally removed all my insulation last week, but only because we were heading to Florida for vacation. Now I’m back home in PA and begging for heat!

  92. OMG I would love to win. (that’s not the lie part) and yes I don’t shave my legs everyday…especially in the winter. In the summer I do touch ups regularly. But I’m married and a mom and no one is looking at my legs anyway so I feel safe if I skip a day 😛

    I joke with my sisters we go into hibernation in the winter…all those pants who needs to shave????

    It’s okay your 401k is now a 104k see you’re doing great!

  93. Oh wow, wow, wow!! PLEASE PICK ME!!! I’m new to all this artsy stuff and I need all the help I can get! Oh, and um…..woof, woof!!!

    Happy Spring Fling!

    Come on over to my blog to register for my pearl earring giveaway too!!

  94. My goodness this looks awesome! And don’t worry, your statement is completely fake. Also, I don’t shave my legs nearly every day, and my man still loves me. Score! 🙂

  95. Wow! Congrats on your awesome achievement and thanks for the awesome giveaway…and don’t worry…that statement is is fake…or at least temporary…we hope.

  96. I’m pretty sure that is the funniest post I’ve ever read about a giveaway. The prize is super cool…but you made me giggle numerous times along the way..and that is pretty darn awesome too…OH AND I AIN’T LYIN! I meant that sincerely. I think I’m gonna be hooked on your blog (sheesh just what I need another blog to keep up with) I get suckered in by the funny people.

  97. Well, I’ll be…I’m in desperate need of a Quickutz shopping spree. How’d you ever guess?! And shaving of the legs is starting to get a bit more difficult for me as my belly pokes out further and further. By the time this baby is born in July I’m afraid I might look like a wooly mammoth! 😉

  98. 401K statement? You mean you open those? Silly girl! Mine go straight to the bottom of the birdcage. It’s all imaginary money anyway.

    I think this is my favorite giveaway and your pages are dropdead gorgeous! Pop by my blog to win a Stampin’ Up! stamp set.

  99. Wow shaving a word that sounds familiar….it has something to do with pools? It is only march no worries til june! just add a few zeros to the right and your 401K will be OK!

  100. Happy Spring Fling! Your 401 K is perfect. There was a huge typo and it came across looking a lot worse than it really is. In fact, your 401 K has doubled!

    Shaving, who needs to do that?

    I love your pages! Congrats on your win!!!

  101. Your kids came from the Pottery Barn catalog too??? Wow! what a small world, and you have hairy legs and a fake 401k. Wow! I really need to get out more, I thought I was the only one.
    Okay so this contest is beyond way cool. First you actually won the Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame contest? That is beyond fabulous! I love QuickKutz and am keeping my fingers extra crossed because I am one of those pesky cardstock toting scrapbookers who need to move into the digital age but I’m too addicted to Archivers to do so. ;p
    Happy Spring Fling, SITSta!

  102. absolutely false 401K – really, just like you said!

    this is a super giveaway – I’ve always wanted to play with the QuicKutz system… of course, I’m terribly addicted to scrapbooking (and now blogging)

    (LOVE your humor – the title cracks me up!)

  103. Yes your statement was a lie. First of all YOUR 401(k) didn’t tank. Everyone else’s did. And all of OUR money can be found in your account…lucky you!

  104. Happy Scrap Girl

    I’m sorry, but we are not discussing or even opening 401K statements here – the mere thought of it makes me want to crawl right back into bed and pull the covers over my head. It’s just too scary! They must have made a mistake on yours – how could it increase with half of the world going bankrupt!

    As far as shaving goes – well, I understand the statements about it being an insulator, but I just can’t handle any stubby-ness so I must shave every other day.

    Thanks for the chance to win!

  105. So, do they sell the person to show you how to use all that stuff? I’d probably need one of those.

    I’m just giving away coffee…and a mug…OOOOOHHHHH. Whatever, some people really really like coffee. And it was that or THE poncho for first prize. Now the poncho is awesome-ly horrible…but I have had some requests for it.

  106. Your 401K – it must be wrong. It is a fake. What is a 401K I am Canadian and have no idea.
    It is winter here and very cold still wearing long underwear so why shave legs?
    Great give a way. Thanks for sharing your prize.

  107. 401 k! What’s that! hubs and I own both our businesses – we are never going to be able to retire, so no reason to save for it. We have rental property – we all know how well housing prices have been lately, I guess it’s just the same as a tanking 401 k stock investment! 🙂

  108. I hate to shave! I just can’t stand it. Great giveaway. Oh and I haven’t even looked at my 401K so obviously they haven’t mailed them out yet so you must be getting spam mail!

  109. OMG! You are so beyond flippin’ funny! I hadn’t been to your blog before today but I was searching QK on 2Peas and found your blog candy post. 🙂 I get a great deal on QK at my LSS but free is absolutely wonderful!

    Oh, and Mondays? How about the first day of the month? If I meet that goal MAYBE by the next month I won’t be as hairy as my hubby. 😉

  110. I wish I had 401 statements to pile up and I know for all of you that do it must be a real heart breaker. Who has time to shave your legs everyday with the children running them here and there cleaning the house the tons of laundry,cooking. Thank-you for the giveaway and Happy Springtime to everyone.
    tamben7996(at)aol(dot)com

  111. I don’t even open 401K statements anymore – just too depressing! What an awesome giveaway – love my Quickutz!

  112. I wish my 401K was lying, it’s depressing to look at! Oh and I don’t save but once a week because my hair grows very very slowly and even then it’s more to make me feel better cause I have than because I needed to!

  113. What you don’t shave your legs everyday? That’s just not right. Every lady shaves their legs and arms everyday…………………………………………………..okay…..so you told me to lie. Who shaves their legs everyday? Maybe a whackadoodle.

  114. 401K? whats that? lol. And I only get to shave my legs when my husband is home cause if my two year old see’s me sitting on the edge of the bathtub while covered in shaving cream, it’s like her devious little mind knows I am unable to get up and chase her and she will like flush my keys down the toilet or something.

    Great Giveaway!

    Sashailic222@yahoo.com

  115. I shave every day, just ask my hubby…wait don’t do that he will call me a big fat liar! I am lucky if i do it once a month…at least they are blonde hairs. Now for some truth I love your blog and I am officially following!

  116. Awww…you’re so young you don’t need to start thinking about that pesky little 401K statement for decades anyway, right? 😀 All I know is that a QK giveaway would make me forget all about my financial statements for a long time to come. Now THAT is what HAPPY is all about.

  117. I don’t have a 401k but Im sure I’d being crying if I did. At least I don’t know what Im missing 🙂
    I shave every 2 weeks or so :-O
    Thanks for the chance!

  118. What’s a 401k statement? jk

    I love scrapbooking, but you put my pages to shame. I’m in awe of what you’ve done. I hope I win!

  119. 401k? Ha you need to be a teacher and have the STRS retirement plan. DH’s is still going strong.

    And I have to shave my legs, even in the winter. We get to sport shorts here sometimes in Southern Cali and well I have dark hair…not pretty.

  120. Love your blog! I believe the only shaving going on around here is that of the endangered 401K. Since I lost my job last month I had to roll mine over into an IRA or risk losing a lot more! Painful as it was to look at it, at least it will finally be safe. Maybe it won’t go extinct afterall!

    I blame shaving and 401K losses on global warming. Of course, with all of the snow that keeps falling around here, I confess that I am now a skeptic when it comes to global warming. As long as the snow keeps coming, the leg shaving will be extinct! 🙂

    I LOVE QUICKUTZ! Thanks for the opportunity to win.

  121. Your 401K statement is a fake, woof, woof, lol!!! Congrats on the win and thanks for offering this generous contest.

    What, you didn’t want to go on a shopping spree for stuff you wouldn’t use, take photos, write descriptions, and sell it all on ebay for pennies on the dollar??? You could have put that $$$ into your retirement account.

  122. You’re hilarious. That’s NOT a lie! LOL

    Your 401k statement. It was lost in the mail. Sorry.

    I do not shave my legs every day. Especially in the winter time when it’s just going to grow back as soon as I step out of the shower from being cold.

    This is a totally awesome giveaway. I wanna win! =D

  123. Just pitch the 401K in the trash …it is junk mail no need to open! hahaa and yeah no need to shave every day either…overkill if you ask me! Thanks for the chance to win this awesome prize!!!!!

  124. Karen Darmanie

    ok…got a internal error when I tried to first comment…so please forgive me if this is a repeat.

    Love ya lots !!!!

    and, pick me random thingy !!!!! I want one of those Silouhette thingies !!!! yes I am a bad speller

    oh, and I’d be happy with 1% of your humor….thanks for making us laugh !!!

  125. Your 401K is lying because it is engaged in a horrible friendship with mine. Their goal is to see if they can ruin our day. I think they are succeeding.

  126. Love your blog (not a lie).

    Love your sense of humor (not a lie).

    About the 401K: I don’t open my statements. Some things are just better left to the imagination (also not a lie).

    Your 401K statements are, I’m sure, entirely fake. Also a lie.

  127. Love your site! You make me laugh – definitely not a lie! As for the 401k statements – surely they are all LIES!! All lies – they have to be – right?! As for shaving – only when I have to – like when I might get lucky! LOL! Thanks for all the laughs!

  128. I love all this stuff – and your technical terminology is so much like mine.

    I am also running aorund with my head cut off (well, almost) and realized it is past five oclock – 52 minutes past, actually, but am going to post this anyway on the off chance that you are running off schedule as I am. 🙂 If not, my loss – I should have come here sooner!

  129. 401k…hehehehehehehehe, that’s me laughing, cause you are lucky I even know what one is, so don’t have one.. Is yours real or fake???
    I would love to win this giveaway, but heck I am on like giveaway 80 from Spring Fling and I would love to win the other ones too.. This is not a lie, its true. But I would REAlly love to win this giveaway… Oh wait said that on the last giveaway, give me a minute for something original….
    hmmmm
    I know.. I REally REally would love to win your absolutely awesome giveaway. I would Really. The kiddos would appreciate not having to make cards on a paper grocery bag, with pinking shears, and elmers glue, and old Christmas cards. The kiddos are my daycare kids.
    Happy Spring Fling
    I have a yummy giveaway on my blog
    auntrene.blogspot.com

  130. carol in seattle :)

    Glad to see your question asked on TwoPeas. I love your blog! (and I like QK too) I doubt I’ll win, but thanks for the chance none the less.

  131. Umm… your 401k statement is a joke… but it’s better than mine… My 401k was cashed out and spent on a pretty iPod touch last year! lol… way to go me!

  132. Oh dear… looks like I barely made it before the cut off time – whew!

    WOW – What a prize package… almost make up for MY loss of 401k funds (almost, but not quite)! Thanks so much for donating such a grand and fabulous prize to your blog givaway !

    Don’t worry about your 401k – I actually heard this morning that thousands of false statements had gone out to 401k holders… yours was probably in that batch!

    EVERY DAY? Seriously? Does anybody do that? Jeez – I wish I had their skin! NO WAY – my skin would go crazy (and so would my sanity)!

  133. Oh! Awesome give-a-way!! 🙂 THANKS!!!!!

    As far as shaving my legs… only do it when I am seeing the man, which is about every two weeks due to our work schedules SIGH I am embracing the prickly legs and am almost sad that spring is coming. Then I will have to shave daily, or else subject people to crazy hairy lady legs (shiver)

  134. Well Congrats for winning HOF, that is amazing. I can’t even imagine all of the super cool stuff you must have gotten. Sucks they didn’t do anything for digital though. Would love to win this giveaway, more then words!

    Ok, your 401k is so wrong, it was a huge computer error, the correct statement is “in the mail” 🙂 Just like my check to the bill collector, lol

  135. I will acknowledge that your 401(k) statement is full of lies not fit to print if you will agree to say the same about my husband’s Thrift Savings Plan statement. We chose “long term growth and stability” and I shudder to think what it would have looked like if we’d chosen “high risk junk bonds and jumbo mortgages” instead. Scary.

  136. I know this contest is over…but had to laugh at your post. So…LOL.

    I’d like to hear about the contest. and as soon as I have a sec I’m goint to look around.

    oh by the way, i dont shave AT ALL in the winter.

  137. Shaving is the worst, it takes forever. I like when my husband goes on long business trips, I become Mrs Apeman. Thanks for the chance to win.

  138. Ok…this is too funny.
    I will just tell you that I think you are a trip….this is my first time on your blog and you made me laugh. That’s a big deal…..for me. I will be back (wether I win or not) …but I sure hope I win.
    It’s a great giveaway!
    By the way…I’m a stay at home mom….so no 401k’s for me…By the U.S. government’s standards….I’m considered a free loader ;o} PRETTY FUNNY HUH!!!

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