Thank you. And? My mother-in-law opened her mouth and a potty came flying out. Who knew?

You know how it is when you struggle with how to write something and then you type it, delete it, type it again and then delete it again? And you do this again and again and again until the eyeballs in your fingers glaze over?

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and it’s itchy.

So I will simply say thank you.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers.

For offering them up to my family without demanding details or an explanation in return.

For lifting my family up and wrapping them in the warm and comforting embrace of hope.

Your words have brought me a sense of peace amidst the screaming chaos. They have made me smile when I thought I had forgotten how.

I am humbled.

It is inevitable that I will come out of this darkness a changed person. It is my hope that I will come out a better one as well.

We are taking each day as it comes and hoping that one day soon, the good ones will outnumber the bad ones. Until then, I am trying to stay positive and, for the time being at least, avoid analyzing the male psyche because I’ve come to learn that analyzing the way men think is kind of like giving birth to an angry porcupine without drugs … it’s no fun and you bleed a lot.

I’m also trying to find my way back to writing as that has always been my comfort zone. I hope I stumble across the funny along the way. It’s got to be somewhere around here. I’m thinking it might be hiding underneath that moment last week when my mild-mannered, good-natured, docile, sixty-four year old mother-in-law yelled OH MY GOOD GOD FUCKING SHIT two seconds before she yelled DAMMIT, DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD?

See you soon.




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69 thoughts on “Thank you. And? My mother-in-law opened her mouth and a potty came flying out. Who knew?”

  1. Avatar

    (((hugs))) and old ladies swearing is ALWAYS funny. Even if the moment as a whole isn’t, when you isolate that one moment, you can’t help but giggle a little.

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    (((HUGS))) I shall continue to periodically stalk you via text, my dear. (Um, is it even stalking if it is just periodic? Is *anything* associated with a period even something we want? I’m thinking not. Let me rephrase….) I shall continue to occasionally text you to check in. Thinking of you and the girls. And Oliver, too, who I hope has manned up enough to desist all indoor pooping activities. Though somehow I doubt that, because he is, of course, male…

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    OK, well, I am glad to see you are writing again. I think I know what happened but I will leave it to you to share, when you are ready. Sending prayers your way. Hang in there.

  4. Avatar

    Oh, it’s so good to hear from you again! We’ll help you find the funny again, Junkie. Hang in there, you still have many prayers and (((((hugs))))) coming your way. Feel the love sweetie!

  5. Avatar

    You’ve already started to find humor and have taken the first step by knowing that you need the support and recognizing the beauty of someone having your back regardless of the reason. Beauty and laughter can be found in every situation, sometimes you just have to look really hard. Hang tough!

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    I will continue to keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers, Andy. I hope you all are okay, and that each day gets at least a little bit better than the last.

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    I lost my funny once. Thankfully I found it again after 6months of me hiding in the corner. You’ll find your once again. I’m sure of it.

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    Glad to see you back, I’ve been thinking of you and your family and sending up prayers for you all. I will continue to do so and your funny is always around! Especially yours, it has too much fun with you! It’s already having fun with your MIL! πŸ˜‰ Blog when you can, we’ll all be here!

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    You WILL get through this and you WILL find your funny again. You are, after all, Andy!
    Eventhough we only “know” eachother from the grand total of 2 emails, I think about you and the girls everyday, and wish you nothing but good things. Hugs!

    Signed: one of your many Pea friends.

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    ((hugs)) love ya girl! give oliver a big squeeze from me too…only not too hard! don’t want him to pop πŸ˜‰

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    Big hugs and lots of positive thoughts and prayers heading your way still, Andy. I’m sure you’ll find your funny.

    And Granny Sue, you’re awesome.

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    I am sorry for everything you are going through. I really wish there was a button to push to make it all go away. I’d be first in line to push it for you. Life hands us situations that are not always the best, but somehow we manage to get through them. You’ve got a lot of support, which is great. I am confident that you will find your way in the end. You are a very strong, amazingly beautiful woman; and your rock our socks! Focus on the positive & take things one day at a time as you have been πŸ™‚ lots of prayers and love!

  13. Avatar

    I’m sorry you’re going through a difficult time right now. You’re in my prayers. Be gentle with yourself as you sort things out.

  14. Avatar

    Sending you lots of positive energy and happy thoughts. Your writing is an inspiration and whether you find the funny or not (although I’m sure it’s just a matter of time) – I will look forward to every update. Hang in there!

  15. Avatar

    Sounds like you got lucky and got great MIL, what’s not to like about a woman who knows the power of a good curse word or four. Glad you are feeling up to writing again, I will continue to send positive thoughts your way.

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    I’ve just found you and I’m sending hugs for whatever may be in your life at the moment. Older, more mature, people cussing is seriously funny, unless of course it’s an every day happening and then it’s just, well, something you roll your eyes at. πŸ™‚

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    It’s amazing what a little sincere compassion can do for a hurting heart when things are hard. Wish I could do more for you and your family. We continue to keep you close in thought and prayers. Glad to hear from you.

    And. . . that extra year might come back and bite you in the ass. . . that is. . . if your mild-mannered 63 year old mil takes up swearing again πŸ™‚ Otherwise it’ll just bite you in the bum. She’s awesome!

  18. Avatar

    I was very happy to find this in my inbox just now. You DID make a couple funnies in your post, just sayin’.

    And trying to understand the male psyche??? What the fuck are you trying to do, Andy, make certain your brain implodes?? Just stop. It can never be understood. And the invention and easy access to Viagra has made it even worse. Although, hitting one of those male psyches over the head with a heavy, blunt instrument always makes women feel better.

    PS: My offer still stands. I’m still in one of those moods. πŸ˜€

  19. Avatar

    Glad to see the post. I’m pryaing that you’re working through this one moment at a time, and that you’re getting your funny back…slowly. Even slowly is wonderful! Even if it runs and hides again.

  20. Avatar

    I have to agree. Swearing is always funny. ESPECIALLY when it comes from the ‘older’ generation. Or your mom. Which ever comes first. Sending lots of hugs and warm funny fuzzies from the Midwest. Keeping you & the girls ever in my prayers. Thank you for checking in!

    Rock on Granny Sue!! \m/ \m/

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    I may know what you’re going through.. I just lost my Dad to Cancer on June4th. He was diagnosed sometime in the middle of april and then it was a very short time and he was gone. Just be strong when you need to, Cry a whole hell of a lot and let it out and you’ll be ok eventually πŸ™‚ (or at least thats what I keep telling myself)

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    We don’t need to know the details. Only that you are hurting.
    You hurt.
    We pray.
    We love.
    In the end, when you are able to rejoice, we will rejoice with you.

  23. Avatar

    I’ve been time traveling through your blog to cheer myself up. Broken is me too, (oddly around the 7th also, but for different reasons). Anyway, what I want to say is that everyone deserves to be supported without being asked to share why they need support. The most important thing is to support someone, not beg details from them; especially online where even if you felt comfortable sharing details, a lot of us couldn’t do much in a three-dimensional-baking you ziti and bringing it over still warm-kind of way. All the best to you, you are in my thoughts, and I hope we are each able to pick up our collective pieces at some point.

  24. Avatar

    Hopefully your mild mannered MIL will continue to vocally surprise everyone. If it gives a moment to think about “something else” it’s worth it. Prayers and thoughts to you.

  25. Avatar

    OMGOSH Aunt Sue!!!??…..hahah….

    and i hope you know the Schmelz Family in PA had you and your family in our prayers as well πŸ™‚

  26. Avatar

    That’s why I’m looking forward to being an old lady… people will think it’s cute and funny when I swear.
    Hugs for you, you’re all in our thoughts and prayers.

  27. Avatar

    ((( HUGS ))) I’m glad to see that you still haven’t lost your great sense of humor. I’m sorry for all you are going through. I am sending positive thoughts and well wishes your way.

  28. Avatar

    Hang in there gal. Be the shark! Love your blog every post, and you still got it! Your funny, witty, and clever. Always have something to add to an intellectual world. πŸ™‚

  29. Avatar

    Checking in on you each day to see if you are “back”. Thoughts and prayers continue to come from here.

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