Yay for quickies! The world doesn’t have enough of them if you ask me.
Nobody asks me.
Here we go:
It is ten o’clock at night after a miserably long, stressful, unproductive day, the highlight of which occurred five minutes prior when your puppy sat on your bare feet and proceeded to barf up big chunks of pepperoni that your husband had left on the coffee table because apparently, your recent request of him to not leave food lying around on coffee tables was spoken in Braille which you would think would not be lost in translation by your husband since he’s deaf to you 99.2% of the time but alas, you would think wrong.
You gingerly maneuver around four heaping laundry baskets to avoid the damp, two foot wide perimeter aftermath of Nature’s Miracle which you know all to well does nothing to prevent your puppy from splashing the same area with bodily fluids tomorrow but which you still use nevertheless because at least you’re doing something about the situation instead of simply spraying the area with curse words which has proven totally ineffective as evidenced by your miserably long, stressful, unproductive day thus far. You collapse upon the couch next to your husband, sigh heavily and muse out loud “God! What a shit day. I wish I knew what to do with my life. You know? Ever feel that way sometimes? Like you’re just kind of existing but not actually living? Know what I mean?”
From the choices below, choose the best response that can offered by your husband so that he will survive the next five minutes of his life without having his ass chewed off, ground up and spit out by a rusty weed whacker:
- “You want to know what your problem is?”
- “Hey, did you eat my pepperoni?”
- “Can you move your knee? I can’t see the forty yard line.”
- *no response; too busy checking email*
- “Huh? Did you say something?”
- “Identify the root cause of your problem, analyze the best potential solution and implement it. I’ll boot up my PowerPoint and show you.”
- *no response; you apparently also muse in Braille*
- “Yes? Sometimes? Maybe? Which answer winds up with us naked?”
And the answer is …. 10. None of the above. The Assless Wonder was screwed long before the puppy puke hit the floor, right around the same time he deleted all your DVR recordings of Real Housewives of New Jersey to make room for Thursday night football.