I’m currently nursing my … let’s see … dammit, I ran out of fingers and toes so I can’t count that high, so let’s just round up to, say, TOO MANY TO REMEMBER … urinary tract infection.
This will be a short post since I’m busy munching on cipro and tinkling neon agent orange every 3.5 minutes. Again.
Remind me to call my contractor, would you? I need to find out how my wing at the urologist’s office is coming along. I’m thinking of naming it the Andrea Chamberlain Toxic Wasteland Memorial Wing – In Honor of Putrefied Bladders and Urethras Everywhere.
Grand opening is scheduled for February 1. There’ll be complimentary cranberry juice and antibiotics for everyone. Lots of fun to be had! Door prizes available, based on highest individual volumes of expressed urine and most concentrated levels of bacteria. Those with e-coli get double the chances to win!
Grand prize of a free catheterization goes to the lucky owner of the brightest, most fluorescent orange pee.
No cover charge, just leave a urine sample at the door, if you please.
Casual dress, paper robes optional.
Hope you can make it!
I’m trying to find the humor in having a hazardous no-fly zone in the general vicinity of my urinary tract system. I’m trying, but quite frankly, I’m exhausted from battling the vermin that insist on squatting and breeding in my innards.
I know I should keep fighting the good fight, but you know what?
UNCLE, UNCLE, UNCLE.
I think my friend Deb summed it up best when she emailed me this:
Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words.
But five will do.