Helena?
Helena, where are you?
Are you outside?
Helena, you need to come inside now.
Helena! I mean it!
Where are you?
Are you out here?
Helena, are you in there?
OH MY GOD (shrieking)
That better be you under there or I will freak out right now.
You need to come inside now.
Right now!
What do you mean, you can’t?
Did you break your legs when I wasn’t looking?
Then you can come inside.
No, not later. Right now!
Two minutes.
That’s it.
Because it’s cold, it’s wet, it’s getting dark, we’re going to eat soon …
Wait a minute. I do not have to explain myself to you.
Because it’s the law.
Because I said so.
Because.
I’m sorry you feel that way, because I love you to pieces.
You have one minute left.
.
.
.
(one minute later)
HELENA!
Are you still out here?
HELENA CHAMBERLAIN, ARE YOU STILL UNDER THERE?
I can hear you breathing.
Fine.
Don’t come running to me if you suffocate or freeze to death, I don’t want to hear about it.
.
.
.
(one minute later)
YOU ARE COMING IN THIS HOUSE, EVEN IF I HAVE TO JUMP IN THERE TO GET YOU.
.
.
.
(one minute later)
I am not jumping in there to get you.
Because.
It’s wet, it’s cold and I’m almost positive there’s a bug somewhere in there.
OH MY GOD, DON’T TOUCH IT! (shrieking)
That’s not funny, Helena.
Fine.
Go head and freeze.
Have fun.
.
.
.
(five minutes later)
Who wants brownies?
And ice cream?
I thought so.
13 thoughts on “With enough practice, I’m going to get this down to under two minutes”
That’s too funny! LOL
*lol*
Love your new header, too. =)
As always, you crack me up!
I read your blog through a reader most days, but I arrived here today via the blog train and saw your site – it looks fabulous! Great job.
Too funny!!! Junk food always gets them.
Okay this entry is hysterical!
This is one of my most favorite blogs. You are hysterical…absolutely love the way you tell your stories! Thank you so much for another hearty laugh!
Visiting via the DST blog train!
http://prettypixelsct.blogspot.com/
lmbo!!! Very funny!
Aww! THose are CUTE pix!
Thanks for the laugh! And thanks for visiting my site…you are welcome back anytime! Cheers!
http://everydaybeautiful.typepad.com
You are so funny! Hahahhaha!!! I am learning for you.
Lesson no. 1 – Have brownies and ice cream at hand to bribe kids.
I love the way you put this all together!! So incredibly cute. The ice cream will do it everytime!!
Pretty leaves.
We don’t have leaves.
In fact, we had a giant pine tree in front of my house when I was younger. Beautiful tree. Huge. Lots of shade and tree-climbing possibilities.
It’s possible my mom hates nature. She chopped it down.
Oh and the bushes in front of my window… she chopped those too. But I bet she regretted that one later when I had boys (okay, and girls) knocking on my window at ridiculous times of the morning and climbing right in. Heh.
LOL!! Love the hands and feet sticking out of the leaves!
When you get it down to under two minutes, can you please tell us all how you did it? Many thanks from another harried, overworked, losing-patience-really-fast mother.