I was in our dungeon the other day, jogging on the treadmill and trying to watch TV through the veil of sweat pouring down my face. As I was plotting various ways to acquire an AK-47 by nightfall so as to murder the treadmill in its sleep out of sheer spite, this commercial popped up on the TV and stopped me dead in my tracks.
My PSA for today: Do not stop dead in your tracks while jogging on a treadmill unless you have the wherewithal to turn it off first. Or you have walls made out of cotton balls.
We have cinder block walls in our dungeon and I haven’t had wherewithal since I hit my forties.
This commercial made me laugh, thereby distracting me from the compound fracture growing on my face due to my utter lack of wherewithal. And cotton.
It’s a thirty second Huggies commercial and just so you know, I’m not a spokesperson for Huggies. No one pays me to do anything, least of all speak. I have, however, gotten several offers to SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY which I’m currently negotiating.
This commercial is yet another reason why I think God knew what he was doing when he put baby girls in my tummy, although I still think he was whacked out of his gourd when he put astigmatism, cellulite and squooshy boobs on other parts of my body:
I’m fairly certain that this little guy did not have a fire hose shoved up his urethra because I know what it’s like to have things like tubes and catheters crammed into my nether regions and believe you me, smiling is the last thing I felt like doing afterwards. So obviously there are some pretty nifty special effects at play here but who cares? Because this is how I’ve always imagined changing a little boy’s diaper would be. This scenario is the primary reason why, when the doctor yelled IT’S A GIRL after plucking each of my kids from my uterus, I heaved a sigh of relief and yelled NO PEE FACIALS! CAN I GET A WOOT WOOT?! AND A COOKIE?
I only had to deal with little baby girl vomit spewed into my mouth, up my nose and down my shirt. Totally do-able in comparison.
And just because I can, here’s a behind the scenes look:
.Special effects or no, all I can say is, it’s a good thing God stuffed babies with tons of cuteness, in addition to pee.