Farewell, my Peach Blossom Mist. I barely knew you.

It occurred to me that I completely forgot to show you pictures of my finished laundry room.

I know! It’s a wonder I can tie my own shoes, really.

Remember my tiny laundry room? Well, in case your memory is anything like mine and comes fully equipped with a ten second window, you can read about it HERE. Essentially, I loathed my laundry room because it wasn’t painted Peach Blossom Mist. Yes, I know I’m an ungrateful little wretch for complaining about the color of my laundry room when undoubtedly there are people right now who are probably reading this blog while boiling clothes in kettles and slapping them against rocks while trudging up hill both ways in the dead of winter with no shoes, but I paid my dues. It took me thirty-seven years of hard work to get my own laundry room and I had to go through two husbands, five houses and 850 stretch marks to get it, only to be told that I couldn’t have it the way I wanted.

That’s like being in labor for six months while trying to push a 10 pound baby girl out your boy howdy for four of them, only to wind up having a c-section and when the doctor finally yanks her out of your stomach and holds her up in the air for you to see, you smile and cry and thank God and envision her future and then you ask the doctor if he can do anything about the third eye growing out of her nose and he yells FOR GOD’S SAKE, BE GRATEFUL SHE EVEN HAS A FACE. HERE, HOLD YOUR UTERUS A SECOND. I’M BUSY.

Nate was not too enthusiastic about painting the laundry room, even when coaxed with heavy narcotics, and for years, my tiny laundry room bore a flaccid lilac sheen, an ugly ass floor and hideous cupboards too small to store anything. I tried my best to grit my teeth and ignore it all by camouflaging the walls and cupboards and floor with heaping baskets of moldy towels, sweaty socks and sticky underwear.

And then last year, something happened to Nate and he came home from work one day, sat down for dinner and agreed to paint the laundry room and tile the floor and build me shelves. And nobody even had to get naked. Whoever hit him over the head and gave him the instant lobotomy he so desperately needed? I have your thank you note right here. I just don’t know where to send it.

You would have thought that I would have run right out to Sherwin Williams that instant to buy my beloved Peach Blossom Mist before Nate had a chance to wake up and you would have been exactly right except for the fact that I didn’t do any such thing and not just because I was starving and wanted to stuff my face full of baked ziti, although that was a good chunk of it.

No, it’s because, as it turns out, when I’m faced with the realization that I can finally have whatever it is I’ve wanted after yearning for it for so damn long, chances are I don’t want it anymore. I’m more vested in the chase than I am the prize. Strange how that happens, isn’t it?

Just for the record, this phenomena only applies to home decor. Don’t get your hopes up, Anderson.

So I went in another direction completely and declared that I wanted a blue laundry room because blue was supposed to instill calm and well being and seeing as how that room sucked all the zen out of my body through my eyeballs every time I stepped foot in it, I figured I was making the right choice.

Nate spent an entire day painting the room and this was the result:

It was a little … intense. I think it looked a little like one of those rooms they throw you in after they wrap a straight jacket around you.

I mean, I couldn’t say for sure, since I’ve never actually had the pleasure.

What’s that, you say?

Oh, shut up.

And whenever the door was open, the room cast a glow, as if we had stuffed a lighthouse in there for fun.

So I wasn’t happy and as we all know, if I’m not happy, AIN’T NO ONE GONNA BE NAKED HAPPY.

So I poured over the paint swatches from Sherwin Williams and Nate remained silent with paint roller in hand because he likes naked happy and eventually, I decided on a chocolate brown color and this is what our laundry room looks like now:

The walls are a rich chocolate hue that reminds me of Willy Wonka’s chocolate river and I have to restrain myself from slurping them. The baskets came from Target and when they’re filled with all the crap that somehow always finds its way into a laundry room, they’re pretty damn heavy, hence the additional supports Nate added to the front of the shelves so that they don’t come flying off the wall and bonk me on the head whenever I reach for the Woolite. Good thing too because I tend to yell eclectic when I’m bonked on the head and it’s entirely possible I’d yell something like OH MY GOD, WHY THE HELL DID WE PAINT THIS ROOM THE COLOR OF DIARRHEA? And Nate would just stand there, paint roller in hand, watching naked happy slip out of his reach once again.

The view from the other side. That’s our utility closet. I think the vacuum is in there.

Shhhhhhhhh.

It’s hibernating for the winter. All six months of it.

Thank you, New York State.

The other side of the room, a whole two feet away. You can just barely see the ceramic tile floor Nate installed which is a good thing because I forgot to take a picture of it and now I’m too lazy to exert the effort. He also built me a table with a cover for the sink for additional room. So now I have a space to cover with absolutely everything that doesn’t belong there, allowing me to continue my practice of stacking fifteen laundry baskets in the living and family rooms and cover all of our couches with 98 cubic feet of folded laundry because WHERE ELSE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FOLD ALL THIS STUFF?

I love it when he makes things easy for me and doesn’t disrupt my routine in the process.

It may be small but I don’t care. I love my laundry room now. I don’t cry when I enter it any longer, provided there’s no actual dirty laundry anywhere within the confines of its walls. I cry buckets when there is, but I attribute that more to the horrendous stench emanating from the baskets and making my eyes bleed. That, and the fact that I misplaced my goggles.

Thank you, Nate! This room was totally worth two husbands, five houses and 850 stretch marks.

And a few bouts of naked happy.

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41 thoughts on “Farewell, my Peach Blossom Mist. I barely knew you.”

  1. First of all, I kind of liked the blue. Even with the glow.

    Secondly, the closest thing to a makeover my laundry room’s going to get in the next ten-fifteen years has already happened: Hubby installed some shelves in the “too small and shallow to be much use in a laundry room” cabinets and put up one new shelf and reinforced the supports on the existing shelf above the washer and dryer.

    That’s it. I still have the faux-brick patterned, 45 year old linoleum floor, the 45 year old “are we in a ship’s hold?” wood paneling, the 25 year old, mostly useless (slightly better now for the shelves he put in) repurposed kitchen cabinets, the “call it retro or call it antique, but I am unable to use Downy in this damn thing” 45 year old washer and the “OMG does this thing channel the heat of the actual face of the sun?!?!?” 45 year old dryer. Oh, and the “hell, it’s 45 years old so who cares if some of the primer/trim/paint splashes into it anyhow?” gray utility sink (except inside where it is garden moss green, white, off white and 6 year old girl’s bedroom pink from the aforementioned painting escapades).

    Le sigh.

    The coup de grace of our laundry room, of course, is that this is where the kitty litter box resides. Because of that *one* fact, I spend as little time as possible in the laundry room. Which is just, you know, one more reason why the laundry room is lowest on the list of Rooms to Redo in our new, old house.

    Don’t get me started on my kitchen…………………….

    I’m glad you’ve got a laundry room you can love now, my dear! πŸ˜€ I just wish I’d thought to finish eating my Wegmans Organic Super Yogurt before clicking on the link to your post. Snarfing yogurt through my nose wasn’t how I’d intended to consume my pre-Zumba breakfast.
    .-= Heather @ nobody-but-yourself’s last blog post is here ..Kids and world tragedies =-.

  2. I, too, was a fan of the blue, as it matched this toilet seat I saw with built in LED lights. Don’t judge, it was kind of cool.

    But I also love the diarrhea color as well, because it’s kind of rich and bold and strong and stuff. Also, I love the baskets and the sink cover. What an ingenius idea. Maybe they make those for kitchen sinks which will allow me to hide my dirty dishes that sometimes sit for 4 days.

    Please don’t call DHR on me.
    .-= Kearsie’s last blog post is here ..*Cough, gasp, eyes water* =-.

  3. OH, I so needed to stop by this morning while drinking my coffee. I have stopped using chemicals to clean my house, daughter gets nosebleeds, and I use home made or natural things, which now means I cannot stand the smell of chemicals or perfume. Somebody (same daughter) took a bath in cologne last night and stirred up my now ultra sensitive allergies, so I am SICK. Your ironic humor lifted me up, thanks.

    My husband IS a painter, and a mechanic, and a handy man, so if I want anything done, I get to do it. I am thinking since I cook and clean by day, I should cease and desist at night. Happy naked won’t get anything done at my house, unless I enlist another painters help……. I did paint the trim in our living room once, I used a paint for metal, it was an industrial grade oil based black. Sometimes when I mention that I have everything I need to repair or paint something, he will run to do it.

    As for the blue, I would have had the kiddos draw and paint fish on the walls, and maybe even hung a few fish type decorations from the ceiling. I once had a friend who wanted her living room painted, and her husband gladly did it, he was color blind, and painted it that exact blue……

    Thanks again, I so enjoy my coffee with you!
    .-= Valerie’s last blog post is here ..TOTAL COMPUTER OVERHAUL Finale =-.

  4. I like the blue but I totally understand the glow issue. My living room is a nice yellow but contributes a jaundiced glow to everything in the room for most of the day. It took us 10 years to paint it yellow so I am not holding my breath on any correction occuring soon.

    Love the look of the laundry room now
    .-= stacey@Havoc&Mayhem’s last blog post is here ..Happy Birthday Mayhem =-.

  5. Soooo nice. I have a dirty, filled-to-the-gills-with-crap, dungeon-like basement to do my laundry in. I’d love to have something like this, but seeing how we have had 2 bars of soap holding up the faucet of our utility sink for the past year since my husband never got around to installing the replacement faucet, I’m thinking I will be left to fantasize about your laundry room.
    .-= Cheryl’s last blog post is here ..I Heart Fun For Free =-.

  6. That’s a nice laundry room! I might even be tempted ot do laundry if I had a room like that. I have the basement. It’s nice to see I’m tno the only person who has 5 laundry baskets for 4 people. My husband doesn’t see the need, but now I can prove we’re not the only family who lives like this.

    Those bins from Target are fantastic! My boys have them for their shoes, hats, gloves, and other miscellaneous crap they need to go out in cold or rainy weather. They weren’t thrilled with the polka dots, but I reminded my 8yo that “hey, at least they’re not pink or purple,” and he kept his mouth shut. Thsoe bins truly hold up to some abuse.

  7. Ok.. first of all… feel sorry for me. I am doomed to wash clothes in the unfinished part of a dark and dank basement. It’s nasty. I’m sure there are bugs… and black mold. shhhhh. I don’t want men in hazmat suits showing up at my door.

    I liked all colours… but that blue woulda gone south quickly. Much too dramatic. Too much drama for me in a laundry room. The brown? It’s a keeper.

    I’m just saying.

  8. Dang, it’s so lovely and awesome that I want to LIVE in your laundry room! Hmm…unless you’re all naked happy while doing the laundry, because some people multi-task, seriously. So, in case that’s the way you roll in your house the pix will do just fine actually…
    .-= Insanitykim’s last blog post is here ..I Failed Sex Ed, A-gain… =-.

  9. HEY! Weren’t you just licking your daughter’s walls?? What is it with you and chocolate paint? Now THAT’s a naked happy.

    I will say that the laundry room looks more Nutella colored to me…

  10. I love Nate….I love that when he says he’s finally going to do something, he goes and gets it done 100%. Tim, on the other hand, finally got the shelves up on the wall in the family room BUT he still hasn’t painted them and hasn’t bothered to set up the surround sound so there are speakers and wires scattered all over the place. I can’t stand that…I’m someone who always finishes something she starts.

    On that note, I love the color and the tile is beautiful! It’s funny how women get attached to their laundry rooms. We are considering moving and we just looked at a house yesterday and one of the first rooms I checked out was the laundry room. Tim was like, “Do you care what the laundry room looks like?” and the real estate agent (who’s female) and I just stared at him like he was from another planet!

    Once Nate is done with your house, can you send him over to me to get some of Tim’s projects completed. I’ll even promise him that you’ll have sex with him once he gets back home again.
    .-= Helene’s last blog post is here ..What’s grosser than gross? =-.

  11. Another side-splitting post, Andy! The laundry room does look great, which is a tribute to Nate’s abilities, and the catalyst of naked happy bribery.

    He is a lucky man… my wife chose the load-bearing wall as the one that had to go. Knowing that if I didn’t do it, she would, I took the only action open to a man that doesn’t want a dining room chandelier shaped like a bathtub.

  12. Ooh, I can tell we have totally opposite color feelings. I liked the blue a lot better. Chocolate is now something I want on the walls, but in my stomach.

    OTOH, just the fact that you chose a strong color is laudable. I watch HGTV all the time and it never fails to amaze me how clueless people are when it comes to decorating. I wonder sometimes how they find those people whose homes look like college dorm rooms…
    .-= Dee’s last blog post is here ..Russian Food Day =-.

  13. Wow! Love your laundry room. that full sized washer and a DRYER! Woo Hoo! Oh the paint is nice too:)
    I have a dinky washer in my kitchen . And no dryer. I have an “airer” which is one of those racks like grannies used to dry their undies on. I kid you not.
    Welcome to England .
    .-= smocha’s last blog post is here ..Vignettes of a crazy woman…. =-.

  14. The before photos with the blue paint is the kind of stuff my husband does. When I’m away or sleeping so soundly that the paint fumes don’t wake me. I dread it. It actually almost caused us to get divorced because I know he painted our bathroom neon green while I went on a cruise with my daughters which he could have come on, but refused to, so he subconsciously had to get back at me. He’s passive aggressive when it comes to paint, but not when it comes to naked happy.
    .-= ConnieFoggles’s last blog post is here ..I Don’t Want To Miss Contest With Danny Gokey =-.

  15. This is my first visit to your blog, via BPOTW. And I laughed and laughed and laughed. What a great and funny writer you are. I also love the colour you finally chose. And I empathise on the laundry folding…

  16. I’m speechless and laughing almost too hard to type! I’m over come with a feeling of kinship! I’m not alone!! You are hysterical! You just put into words so much of my existence! Rock on, creative junkie, rock on! And, long live CHEESE πŸ˜‰
    .-= aimee’s last blog post is here ..Boots… =-.

  17. Pingback: Linktastic ~ Laundry Room Links Round Two

  18. First of all, I love the ‘naked happy’ reference. HA! So great. Anywhoozle. I just love it! I adore those Target bins! I just adore Target, period. And everything in the confines of its walls. Seriously. I need to seek some help.

    Nah.

    Thank you for sharing your laundry room bliss! Now I’m off to find mine! :p

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