Velma moved in last night and her fat, putrid, fetid ass is now entrenched on my lip, blowing it up to twice its size.
She’s my newest cold sore, in case you are freaking out at this moment, wondering if some weird, lesbian porn site hijacked my blog.
So, Velma’s here with a honkin’ big, obnoxious SURPRISE! Except that technically, I wasn’t a bit surprised that she showed up last night because after all, the sun rose in the east yesterday, did it not?
Bitter? Party of one? Your table is ready.
Those of you who are familiar with my blog know that I name my cold sores.
For those of you new to these here parts … I name my cold sores. It’s easier to keep track of them that way. And it gives me something to do to distract me from tearing off the right side of my face and feeding it to the neighbor’s dog.
I won’t bother posting a photo of it … she looks pretty much the same as all of her horrid, inbred relatives, except maybe a bit chubbier.
I have no idea why I’ve been getting so many of them recently. I think they’re brought on by stress and considering some of the stuff that has been going on around here lately, it’s a wonder my entire body hasn’t spontaneously morphed into one gigantic, bloody, oozing lippy afterbirth.
So, I don’t have a regular post today because I’m too busy icing my face and feeling sorry for myself.
But I did find this three minute video which totally cracked me up. I swear, you just can’t get a better source of humor than little kids just being … well, little kids.
This is a current video based on The Marshmallow Experiment from the 1960s when researchers filmed four year olds trying to refrain from eating a marshmallow. The researchers followed their subjects’ progress (the kids, not the marshmallow) through adolescence and found that those who waited and did not eat the marshmallow were better adjusted, more dependable and scored higher on the SAT.
After you watch it, ask yourself: Would I have eaten the marshmallow?
Myself?
I’m forty-two, sitting here in ten year old sweats and an Old Navy flag t-shirt held together by holes, holding ice packs to my swollen face, wondering how many days worth of clean dishes and underwear we have left, trying to decide if I should take a shower or just spritz myself with Febreze.
I totally ate that marshmallow.
.
.
29 thoughts on “The Marshmallow Experiment”
Four minutes is an insanely long amount of time to have to wait for something. Especially something sweet and delicious. That you can smell. Sitting riiiiight there in front of you.
I totally would’ve been a nibbler. I would’ve taken teeny, tiny nibbles, hoping they wouldn’t show, then realized the futility of hiding the nibbles, said the 4 year old equivalent of “eff it!” to myself and chowed down. Yes, I was a champion at rationalizing things to myself even as a child……. You didn’t think I developed these thighs and chins without that essential skill, now did you?
Right this moment, I’m trying to rationalize to myself why I shouldn’t go to Zumba in 2 hours. “Andy’s not coming with me….” “I still am in the throes of a bad seasonal allergy attack, so I’ll be sneezing a lot….” “I have a paper cut on my pinky finger…” Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. (<— That last bit was totally my Yul Brenner in The King and I impression. Didja like it?)
I hope Velma stops holding your face hostage soon. Zumba next week, right? Right? 😀
(PS – hoping I hit Submit in time to be Commenter the First, 'cause yeah, I'm like that. A competitive marshmallow nibbler with many, many chins and thighs the size of Texas.)
I might have eaten the marshmallow. Probably not though because I don’t really like them. I have a cold sore erupting now too & we’re about to go away for 4 days of fun and waterparks. ugh
I ate that marshmallow and beat up the next kid in line and it that one too! I love any all things to do with marshmallows. We roast marshmallows at least once a month they are soooo yummy!
I am not a big marshmallow fan, so I could have waited. 🙂
that is hysterical! i love it…smelling it, licking it…nibbling it…that doesn’t count as eating it? right? i hope you feel better the cold sore, though i don’t get them i am battling poison ivy all over my bod so i will feel bad with you and for you!
ss that your cold soar is back.. hugs
If there were no honey grahams or chocolate bars in site, the marshmallow would be left uneaten…even after 4 minutes.
Tell Velma to cut you a break!
Not again! Women and all our health issues suck!!!!!!Hope you feel better soon,I probably would have enjoyed the free time with that marshellow! Maybe I would fall asleep!!!!
That totally cracked me up…where on earth did you find that?? I loved the kids who tried to look everywhere but at the marshmallow….that’s some serious control right there.
I probalby would’ve wolfed it down while the moderator was still in the room.
I would not eat the marshmallow but then I don’t like marshmallows now and I didn’t like them when I was a kid either.
Lol! I probably wouldn’t have eatten it! I wouldve been too scared of getting in trouble! Sorry bout Velma, tell her she’s not welcome! Hey if you feel like it hop on messenger…I’m seriously bored!! Ill try you in a few
Love it!!!! Their facial expressions were priceless!! TFS!
I wouldn’t eat the marshmallow but only because I don’t like them. If they had used chocolate that thing would’ve disappeared in a nanosecond. My 13 year old son informed me last night that we HAD to go get the ingredients for s’mores because he had a CRAVING. He lives in a house full of women. What a shock.
I would *love* to try this with my children. If only I had a video camera.
I would have licked the marshmallow. (Which would have also made for some killer video.) As long as the lady didn’t try to come in and remove it from the plate (sticky), I would’ve been home free.
Right?
So very sorry bout the cold sores…I get them from time to time and Lysine makes mine go away before they surface. I could not love that stuff more!
I’m from DST blog train.
OH this video is so cute. I would have ate it before she left! Sorry about the cold sore.
Thank goodness I do not get cold sores but I do feel for ya! uck! Tell her to go find someone else to irritate!
That video was SO darn cute! Seriously…that little boy that kept just smelling it was friggin adorable!
Oh no! Good luck with Velma. I hope she disappears soon. LOVE the marshmellow video.
I hate cold sores! Aren’t they supposed to cease at a certain point in our lives in the manner of zits (which I still get too)?
I want to go back in time to see if I’d have chowed down that fluffy puppy.
I can’t decide if this post grosses me out or makes me want some s’mores…
You’ve got quite a way with words!
OK, this is just freaky. I was just reading about that exact experiment today. Are you reading Influencers by the way?? That’s a great book. I want to cut it into little pieces and paste it on the inside of my skull. Then I could change the 97 things I don’t like about myself. And I could even change those other people who live in my house who leave their shoes everywhere and drop socks everywhere like trees drop leaves. And don’t think brushing your teeth once in a while is a necessary evil.
Oh, I’m so glad I found your blog; girl, you have me laughing out loud!!! Found you courtesy of Cheryl of the magnificent baubles (that’s baubles, as in jewellry; not boobies. . . though she may very well have magnificent boobies too for all I know). Anyhoo, she mentioned you, and I will be checking out your blog frequently to get my RDA of giggles and guffaws. Keep it up!
That was too funny to watch! I can’t believe how that was just killing them not to eat it-and the girls were the ones to give in!! I would not of guessed that. Oh. BTW. You have something on your face….
I’m reading your blog today because of your comment about my article at Blogging with Success. Thanks!
I’m commenting, though, because of that remarkable video. I love those cute little faces and how they show the internal struggle so honestly. Did you notice not one of the kids pushed the plate away? Or thought of just turning the chair around so they wouldn’t have to look at the marshmallow? Would that be cheating?
Anyway, I WILL send this link to my TWO sisters. I know they’d enjoy it, too.
this is officially my new favourite video…it’s amazing how happy children can make you. Thank for putting a smile on my face~
I too would have eaten it! In fact I would probably have rushed in an eaten yours.
I showed Velma’s relatives family photos to my doctor dh, and he gave his expert medical opinion “Wow – those are humdingers!”.
So you can see all those years of studying at med school were not in vain after all 🙂 Your bill will be in the post!
Sorry about Velma. Those kids were amazingly patient. And very cute.
Cute video. Just loved watching the kids faces. Some of them looked like they had to go potty they were trying to hold in that sugar need so badly!
lol!! 🙂 I LOVED the expressions on kids’ faces too!
Not sure how moral it is to make experiments with innocent kids and such high sugar content?! 😉
I was allergic to iffy chemicals in lots of foods as a kiddie (artificial additives etc – terribly itchy!) so I think I could’ve stayed away! (Those marshmellows look suspicious!! :))
Love the film & wonder what happened though!! (How many kids got 2?!)