I spent yesterday finishing up my Christmas shopping. I wound up getting Nate a new Coach purse, Spanx, Bare Minerals and a gift card to Sephora, because I know that’s what he’s always wanted. Kind of like how he went out shopping for me this past weekend and came home with a brand new Sony Bravia flat panel LCD Ode to High Definition. Apparently, much to my surprise, I’ve always wanted an enormous 52″ penis in our family room.
So I spent yesterday shopping and thus, did not have time to write a decent post.
I did, however, have enough time to write an indecent post. A pretty damn good one. But I can’t actually publish it because my mom reads this blog and she’s coming up here for the holidays and we’re going to have enough on our plate to argue about, seeing as how I just set Phase 1 of my midlife crisis into motion today by having my hair colored with a blend of light blond and brown. Phase 2 is tentatively scheduled for March at which time I hope to bleach my hair stark white and add some funky black undertones. And if that topic of conversation doesn’t take up her entire stay, there’s always WHY THE HELL DOESN’T YOUR BROTHER CALL ME to fall back on, and YOU REALLY SHOULD RE-THINK YOUR WARDROBE. SCOOP NECKS ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND in case we get really stuck. No need to throw FOR GOD’S SAKE, WHAT’S WITH THE PORN into the mix just yet.
So instead, I’m going to leave you with this video I found on boomclips.com because watching an adorable baby makes me smile and watching an adorable baby with her daddy makes my uterus want to stage a comeback. Good thing there’s sound on this video. There’s nothing like the memory of a crying baby in the middle of the night to make my uterus not only permanently retire but also crawl all the way up into my esophagus and suck its thumb.