Who am I?
This is me, crooked glasses and all.
I debated on whether or not to post this photo because I loathe pictures of myself. But then I discovered that when I held the camera up really high and just glanced up with my eyes, the camera made my face quite a bit thinner than God made it. Thus, my self-portrait didn’t make me wretch into my garbage can. A little bile, maybe, but that’s OK. I never liked that garbage can anyway.
And if I squinch up my eyes and hum I’m Too Sexy for my Shirt while standing on one leg, I don’t even notice my disembodied head. Try it!
I still debated on posting it, though. Then I got tired of arguing with myself because I never listen and I keep interrupting myself and I never let myself get a word in edgewise. It’s simply exhausting.
So get a good looksie here, because you won’t be seeing too many photos of myself around here until I lose forty pounds the hard way, or I get so good at Photoshop that I lose forty pounds the easy way.
A little bit about me:
- My full name is Andrea Chamberlain but I’m usually called Andy, unless my mother is pissed off as all get-out and then it’s AN-DREEEEEE-A accompanied by a freakishly high eyebrow arch.
- I’m a stay-at-home mom.
- Speaking of kids, I have two of them. Zoe and Helena. Both girls. One’s a teenager. Hey Mom? About that karma thing? I TOTALLY GET IT NOW.
- I have a tendency to treat inanimate objects as if they are capable of cognitive thought.
- My washing machine dances all over the laundry room when it thinks I’m not looking.
- I’m married to a tall, dark, handsome IT guy named Nate.
- We don’t have pets because I was relieved of poo duty years ago.
- I have freakishly pointy elbows.
- I’m 5′2″ and the spitting image of Cindy Crawford. I SWEAR. You can’t tell from my photo; just take my word on it.
- Speaking of swearing, I’m prone to let an expletive or two fly. To the surprise of many including myself, my youngest daughter’s first words were not “shit shit shit.”
- To the relief of my family who had to put up with my stressed-out anxiety prone self over the course of three entries, I finally won the Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame contest in 2008. Now I can finally say BIG WHOOP.
- I don’t drink or smoke or do drugs. Now.
- Time travel causes my brain to throw up, but somehow, I can’t tear myself away from LOST.
- I’m an enigma.
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Like it? Share it! Karma rocks:
{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }
That’s a great photo!!
Twitter: MissusSmith
April 1, 2009 at 6:31 am
Woo! LOVING the new photo! If you look at my official (*snort*) picture for my blog/Twitter/Facebook, you’ll note I do the same exact thing. Less successfully than your pic though – apparently along with your freakishly pointed elbows, you also have Extendo-Arms and got a better distance from camera to face.
Well done on the whole site redesign. You, madame, are the shizzle. Can I get a what-what? You are hawt. You are all that AND a bag of chips. Raise the roof!
Okay, I’m out of dated ways of saying “cool” so I’ll stop now. Go you!
Great picture! Not even tipped like all my pictures!!!!!!You are a very interesting writer! I really enjoy your blog even if I don’t know how to do that much on a computer!
Looking good!
I love this photo!
Well from one potty mouth to another just remember…they are just words. This was taught to me by my then 7 year old son many years ago. He doesn’t like soap.
George Carlin had nothing on me. Seven words indeed.
I can’t take my own picture that way because my short arms wouldn’t reach far enough away to take a picture of anything other than the inside of my nose.
I love your sense of humour.
Great blog! I love your style and I am adding your badge ASAP…
I really enjoy your style of writing… parenting is fun… trying, but fun. I hope your tag does enjoy hanging on my site… I just added it to my site.
Thanks!
Really Cool Photo.
and a very Nice Blog too.
Glad you had a good time in NYC. The hookers aren’t in Times Square any more. They are either outside the Holland Tunnel, or over on 8th Avenue.
That’s what I’ve heard, anyway.
Ok, after this last post i really must know- are you from the Western NY area? The only reason I ask is cause you seem to frequent Weggies a bit much and the old lady was drinking a buttload of genny. And NO ONE from outside NY drinks that stuff hahaha I am from the Buffalo area and would love you claim you as my own. Can I? Huh HUH??
So you know. My mother’s washing machine does the dance too. Only sometimes, the dryer gets jealous and throws up the clothes all over the place.
BTW you look more like Heidi Klum to me.
You are very cute. You look a lot like my friend Little Judy, who I think is adorable and that I’m pretty sure would fit in my coat pocket. We call her “Little Judy” because she is one of four Judys in our group. And no—-there isn’t a Big Judy. That would just be wrong.
Lucky you—a teenaged daughter. I know she probably hates your slimy guts right now, but in a couple of years she’ll be your best friend. Unlike a son, who will run off with some hussy and you’ll never see him.
Cool blog. Read mine. It’s got all of 3 entries.
I know one thing, you sure are funny. I’m glad I stumbled along your blog, because I will keep checking back often. Wish I could have gotten in on the ear ring give away. O well.
Great writing, very funny!
I liked your blog <3 Added to Google Reader. :*
I love your picture! You have great features! My features turn blobbish on me – I practiced smiling for a whole year before my oldest son got married just so I wouldn’t look old and blobbish + I used Oprah’s smile method! LOL
I was worried my sons would go to church saying, “Damn it all to hell.” – I try not to say that one anymore!
I love your voice!
I see Cindy there, I swear!
Found you through SITS, and you’re a riot. Off to exlore..
My thoughts exactly about LOST. My brain can’t comprehend time travel, yet, I can’t get enough of that show!
Great photo! I’m here from SITS and plan to do a bit of exploring here for a bit. ; )
My brother’s name was Andrew, and I was insanely jealous, because I wanted to be called Andy. Or any boy’s name really. Except Al, which was the only natural boys name shortening of Alison.
So I’d be insanely jealous of you too if I wasn’t now a very sensible 39 year old who still speaks to inanimate objects. I have to, otherwise he won’t take out the rubbish.
Love your blog!
trying to figure out how to follow your blog with out twitter. Can not find a simple follow button.
Love it. Visiting from SITS! My washing machine is trying to run away from home, too. I didn’t know if that was normal or not as it’s my first top loader. Didn’t know who to ask without appearing totally stupid. Um, and my daughter calls the bridge we cross on the way to town the “Kaw Lake Dam IT Bridge”. Yeah, I so totally get it.
Twitter: mmangen
December 30, 2009 at 6:21 pm
LOL – disregard my last post comment asking what happened to Nate after you went rollerblading. I see you are now happily married!
I love the black and white on the photo!
lmao I LOVED your introduction. I am 5′2″ but definitely DON’T look like Cindy Crawford – lol
Love the photo! I have a daughter named Andrea. I call her Andie most of the time. It’s only when I’m really pissed off that I call her (okay, yell at her ) “Andrea.” She’s an adult now and doesn’t live at home, so she’s my little Andie more often than not.
Thanks for the intro!
Nice to meet you! I think that photo is great! I totally get the Karma thing with the kids. I only have one and she is almost 6 and I am getting repaid already!
Nice information and liked the picture…
Hey Andy, just read your blog about Bells Palsy…..laughed my @$$ off. My husband has just been (self)diagnosed with it and it is a little disconcerting as one eye blinks and the other won’t….much like the “lazy eyed girl” which eye do u look at? Anyways made me laugh and I look forward to his recovery as the pool of water falling from his mouth when he drinks is getting deeper, and my hairless cat can’t swim.
Twitter: 2bnicole
February 5, 2010 at 2:19 am
I like you. I really, really do.
Love this! So honest and funny! The crooked glasses look great – kind of a Barbra Streisand look.
OK…..so I am a day late and a dollar short (actually alot of dollars short – therefore can’t buy any of Harry’s GORGEOUS jewellery since my original purchase years ago) BUT….
I just found your site and may I say YOU ROCK! Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful humor….MUCH needed
Hilarious. I’m very appreciative of your humor and. real. ness.
)
Come visit me, too. http://www.lilamarin.blogspot.com .
love it!