Hire me

I’m throwing myself out there because (1) I love to write; (2) I love to get paid; and (3) I’ve lost almost forty pounds so I can now throw my weight out and about without fear of a hernia.

Do women even get hernias?

This whole “getting paid to write” stuff started because someone I admire asked me to write ads for her online store and I said Sure! And she asked How much do you charge? And I responded with Hahahahahaha. Oh, you’re serious? What are you smoking? Can I have some?


Sort of.

I write ads that make people buy crap off Craigslist they didn’t even want in the first place. I also write things that make people laugh and/or cry, depending on which reaction is more inappropriate at any given moment.

I accept payment in cash, PayPal or shenanigans with Anderson Cooper.

Contact me.